Losing a close friend

Dear Gittrbmb13,

Losing a close friend, especially not knowing what happened, and perhaps not wanting to know what happened, can certainly be intensely scary. The fact that this loss has triggered similar emotions to when another close friend passed suddenly about two years ago from the same friend group, certainly adds to the devastation of the grief, mourning, and sense of loss you are feeling, which you describe as a light has dimmed and you are feeling lost and confused and broken.

May I offer my condolences on your loss of your friends, both the recent loss, and also the loss two years ago?

Your deep feelings of grief are such a sincere expression and so natural under these circumstances. I can hope that perhaps going to whatever kind of ceremony is put together to mark your friend’s death might lend some answers in a way that is not too jarring. Maybe this also might be a way to connect with the other friends who were surrounding the friend who has passed.

Some people find solace in doing something in their environment that is “in memory of” the person they have lost, such as planting a tree or a flower, volunteering to help someone in need, or comforting a friend.

While grieving itself takes so much energy, it seems that in some way your friend’s memories, if you care to share them in some way, through poetry, or writing about some experiences you had together, might help in processing your very natural feelings, and might be something that could be shared with your friend group or even here on 7 cups. 

These are just ideas. You ultimately will decide how you process your feelings and thoughts.

You have been very courageous to reach out here and I do wish you all the best in reaching for eventual closure on both the recent death, but also on the memories of the death two years ago that were triggered by this loss.

With love and courage,

CalmRosebud

how are things? are you alright? hello from an MCGI 👋