Losing someone through suicide

Never posted before but just would like to find people that may feel the same way, I have looked into support groups for people who have lost someone by suicide but unfortunately none are near me so I thought I'd try this.

It's coming up 3 years since my dad took his own life, I was barely into my 20's, we had a strained relationship and I had lived with him for most my life. He had reoccurring legal trouble due to embezzling money from his work place, leaving him jobless and then homeless off and on after my step mum kicked him out. We never knew what he did with the money but he was always in need of it, stole from my siblings and I as well as my step mum etc.. long story short I told his mum and sister of his lies as they were lending him money out of belief it was for X or y and it wasn't. I was mad at him cos he was never honest and kept hiding and lying and before he died he borrowed a large sum from me, saying it was for a deposit for rent and he was to pay me back. That never happened and I pulled away for myself, he texted me lots saying he loved me althought I honestly can't remember what those texts say I just knew I ignored him and then few days later got the call he had died. I just feel as though I was the catalyst for him taking his own life and was wondering if anyone ever blames themselves like I do when they lose someone like this?

Sorry if this isn't allowed here on not what this space is for