My Never ending Grief
I’m grieving the loss of my relationship with my daughter she will be 21 in November.
She stopped talking to me and blocked me on her phone after I separated with my husband in November 2023.
When I spoke to my husband at one point in time he said that she doesn’t want me back she doesn’t want to be in my life and she just generally doesn’t want me any more.
I was shocked and astonished at her reaction because she blames me for the break up and for other things that are not right in her life she blames me.
But now for nearly 2 years I’ve been grieving the loss of my relationship with my daughter. She doesn’t want to speak to me she’s changed her mobile number and she doesn’t want to see me and I miss her terribly.
Today my grieving was really bad, The pain in my chest I cannot describe, my grieving comes and goes, I could be doing well for a week or two and then all of a sudden out of the blue I start to miss her and I start crying and I start grieving again.
I’ve seen her once about a year ago since my separation from my husband.
At that time I told her I wanted to come back home but she said no and so did he, So they didn’t want me back home and I’m grieving for the loss of my home as well. I think that my husband has turned her against me I really believe this, that he had some big part to play in her not wanting to contact me and to be in my life.
What I really want to emphasise is when I go through a grieving attack the pain is so unbearable and you just can’t even comfort me and I feel very alone and isolated I don’t know who to turn to, no one wants to hear my problem it’s really hard because I’m all alone in this.
If you are reading this can you relate, Is there anyone that can relate to this type of grieving?
Thank you for reading this.
❤️
@Zebra79
It is hard when someone becomes estranged from a child. I have been estranged and time is not always healing. Too many things left unsaid or assumed. one person grew up emotionally and has said they see thing different but it was a long time.
I do not think there is one way to help this issue. Kids may believe different things as to why parents split up. It can be husband has told her things that are biased or simply untrue. When considering coming back and they both told you NO .. was that as you truly wanted to start over or just thinking things would go back to the way it was. Things will never be the way it was. too many things have transpired.... She is grieving too .......as her safe world of 2 parents together for emotional support and advice has changed as well... she could be mad at what these changes shook her foundation. There is a big disconnect of a child seeing you not as MOM but as a person who was in a tough relationship, many kids never consider that.
Did you speak to her when you were considering leaving the situation? I think it is better to have things out in open and not leave it up to their version as a child, even an adult one, makes judgments on what they think it was... always better to have the truth. at this point your version will seem like bias and just painting a bad picture of ex hard to correct items people have believed for a while.