The "how are you?" question
I would like suggestions of how to deal with the "how are you?" question.
I'm going to a family bbq. Lots of people who I've not seen since the funeral. I'm expecting lots of "how are you" questions. Normally if it is just one, I can deflect it. But I'm afraid that after 10 in one afternoon, my resilience is going to break.
I can't lie with "fine". I don't want to ruin the party with "******* miserable". I can't make a change of subject smooth enough to not make it obvious. So do you have great short answers, that don't shy from the truth, but don't drag everyone into misery?
@Clio9876
Offering sooo many hugs to youu. 💛
It can be really overwhelming having multiple people ask you how you are doing when you’re already struggling. :/ Also when it’s kinda obvious that you’d not be “okay”-okay. :0
Some people can be genuinely concerned, others just want something to talk about, either way when it all adds up, it feels like a lot and it’s sooo understandable to want to know suggestions on handling such a situation.
I feel I’d typically let out a polite smile and thank the person asking, letting them know Its been difficult but I’m getting through or just a “ah yeah, hanging in there”, and then deflecting the conversation on them if I feel comfortable enough to hold a conversation or simply just excuse myself to do absolutely anything else, get some air or something hehe.
Do you have a trusted family member joining? Just someone who feels closer, safer, a better company than the rest? Perhaps you can try reaching out to them and share about expecting such questions and that you’d appreciate if they can just keep you close and help you get out of any of the conversations that starts to feel a little too heavy on you?
It can be a lil comforting having someone like this with you if possible and you’re soooo allowed to reach out to them if you can. 💛
Thinking of you and hoping people can allow you to breathe in some fun air (a lil smoky air though, since well bbq? 👀), you’ve got thissss! 🫂