This time is hard...
It will be 5 years at the end of January that my fiance passed. He was admitted into the hospital with covid before Christmas. Vented just a fee days before. I had wish the some miracle would happen by Christmas and I'd talk to him, then I was hoping for NY day. Soon I was just hoping for any day. I sent him messages every day hoping he'd wake up and see them. He died due to complications. I spent the last 5 years crawling out of a pit of depression. Then my dad died at the end of September..so this year, this time has been extra difficult. We ended up not doing anything for Christmas. No one in the family felt.cheery.
@littleMouse458
hey mouse, thanks for sharing part of your story with us,
i can only imagine the pain that you have gone through with losing your fiancé, it's horrible what life throws sometimes. grief lasts a long time, i hope you be gentle with self, because it takes a long time, there is no timeline or endpoint.
it sounds like you have been through so much this past year with losing your dad. That pain is unimaginable, and the grief is painful and heavy, i lost my dad too, you not alone
Holidays are a really tough time. Its okie if you dont want to celebrate, you are allowed to skip and do things at your own pace. its never a good time when everyone's just missing the ones we love. the empty chairs at the table is so hard,
here for you <3
@littleMouse458
Your story was so heartbreaking to hear. It is understandable that this recent loss of your father would reopen old wounds from when you lost your fiancé. I am sorry to hear that you have gone through two major life losses in such a short span of time. It sounds like you were only just beginning to get back to normal when your father passed away. It makes sense that no one felt the Christmas cheer this year. It is not unheard of for the holidays to be tainted by the feelings of grief.
It is going to be important that you and your family lean on each other. It is important to avoid holding in any of your feelings. Your grief can easily turn complicated if you don't face this head on. You are going to sad, you are going to get depressed, I would say you will likely be angry. Anything that you feel is valid. Let yourself truly feel what you feel.
Continue to reach out to us for support here on 7cups and consider connecting with listeners and utilizing the group chats. You are not doing this alone. Also consider outside resources that might be available for you. Many local communities offer grief support groups and many of these support groups are free or low cost. Also, if you have a therapist, I recommend being open and honest with them. It is just important to avoid falling into a hole, that you continue to express yourself.
Let me know if I could be of any assistance to you.