When Loss Comes Unexpectedly
Hi lovelies,
How are we all doing? I want to take a moment to hold space for anyone who has experienced a sudden or unexpected loss.
Losing someone we love is always painful, but when it happens without warning, when there’s no time to prepare, no chance to say goodbye, it can feel like the world has been turned upside down. One moment, life is normal, and in the next, everything changes. The shock can be overwhelming, making it hard to think, breathe, or even process what’s happened.
Personally I’ve experienced this kind of loss and If you’ve also been through this, please know that you are not alone, and your grief is valid. Unexpected loss can bring a flood of emotions, disbelief, anger, deep sadness, or even numbness. Some days might feel unbearable, and other days, you might feel like you're just moving through the motions. And that’s okay. Grief doesn’t follow a timeline, and there’s no "right" way to grieve.
In the midst of all this, I hope you can be gentle with yourself. There’s no rush to "move on" or "be okay." Some small things that might help during this time:
💙 Surround yourself with safe, supportive people who understand what you’re going through.
💜 Let yourself feel—whether that means crying, talking, sitting in silence, or writing. Every emotion is a reflection of love.
💚 If daily tasks feel overwhelming, don’t be afraid to ask for help. People who care about you want to support you.
💛 Take care of your body in small ways—drink water, eat when you can, and rest when you need to.
❤️ Find a way to remember (or saying goodbye) your person that feels meaningful to you, whether that’s writing a letter, lighting a candle, or speaking to a photo.
And please, be kind to yourself. Grief is heavy, and healing takes time. If you need extra support, whether from a close friend, a support group, a spiritual advisor, or a counselor, reaching out is a sign of strength. You don’t have to carry this alone.
If you’re comfortable, I’d love to hear from you:
✨What’s something you wish people understood about grieving a sudden loss?✨
✨If you’ve experienced a sudden loss, what was something, no matter how small, that brought you comfort? ✨
✨Is there anything you wish you could have said to your person before they passed? ✨
✨How do you remember / honor your loved one?✨
Sending love, comfort, and kindness to all of you.
@CaringEzra
Ezzzzz, you beautiful hooomannn! I love this so much, you've poured so much love in this post, it can be felt across the screen. 🥹💖 Thank youu for sharing such comforting, assuring, gentle reminders and for holding space for conversations that I'm certain not many are willing to make, let alone initiate. 🫂
I truly believe that no one can ever be 'fully' prepared or even just prepared to lose a love one or someone we care about, in no better reality too would i ever feel actually okay to lose my love one, it just isn't part of my hooman brain-wiring I think lol. (':
What i believe most of us really do is just find little ways that comfort us, temporarily even, "they are in a better place now' ~ yes, sure, and very much understandable but no matter how selfish it sounds, they are not here and this isn't the same place without them.
Or "well you really cannot fight against the laws of nature, everyone has to go someday" ~ ???!!!! okay?!?!?! of-freaking-course that is true about the laws of nature, or whatever religious, spiritual or scientific backing one wants to use in their very frail attempt to console you, yes everyone has to go someday *but it is still valid for you wish that they didn't have to go.
Most people, even with the kindest of intentions, knowingly or unknowingly, just can only offer platitudes, blanket statements, verbal "band-aids" but unfortunately, these wounds go deep, and may never fully heal, the little void in that wound-ish space is what i like to think of as love, love for your person; of memories we shared and of potential-moments we will miss creating with them because they aren't here anymore.
Ooof okay, circling back, i've experienced different kinds, sudden ones too, the shock and feeling as if your world just crashed down and it will never look the same (because your world did crash and yes for you it will not look or feel the same anymore) is real and almost never goes away ('never' = my current lifetime, at least) but i feel there's no real preparing involved ever, we may tell ourselves several things to comfort ourselves, trying to "reason" why it happened and how it 'should' have to feel "okay" someday, but but but, with everything in my being~ whether sudden or not, "reasonable"/ "justifiable" or not~ it hits, and it hits deep. The only truth I'll live by, I guess.
✨What’s something you wish people understood about grieving a sudden loss?✨
That sometimes it may seem the person isn't grieving enough or that they are behaving normally even after experiencing a loss, and it is because they are in a state of shock and denial, they need and deserve the time to acknowledge the loss, the altered reality now and to process their emotions, grieving comes a whole lot later. Please don't rush them.
✨If you’ve experienced a sudden loss, what was something, no matter how small, that brought you comfort? ✨
Taking my time!
✨Is there anything you wish you could have said to your person before they passed? ✨
So many things oof!
Big hugs to you too, Ezz. You know that i am always incredibly proud of you! 💛 If you want to share more or answer any of the prompts here too, please feel free to, i'd love to hear from you also! 🫂
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou hugs sunnyboo 💖 I love you 💗
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Hey sunnnnieee, thanks for writing such thoughtful kind beautiful reply to the post, appreciate sun so much,
It can definitely be hard to know what to say to someone who has recently experienced loss, however some of the things that are said with intention to comfort can also be damaging. There seems to be this huge stigma about having to “move on” but I don't think that's the case. Grief can be carried with us for the rest of our lives. Our grief changes over time, and Grief changes who we are and how we see the world. And yes, we continue to live on, and find joy and experience life. The intense pain might be dull during some points, but there is always a song being played, a milestone celebrated, an empty chair at the table that reminds us of our loved ones. That grief and longing to wish they were here will last a lifetime, And that's normal. Grief doesn't have an expiration date, or day that it decides to leave. It does come in waves.
I also really appreciate what you said about how grief isn’t always visible right away. People expect it to look a certain way, but sometimes the reality is silence, numbness, or even just functioning on autopilot because the weight of it hasn’t fully settled in yet. Rushing someone through that process only adds to the loneliness of it all.
Hugs sunnieee tight thanks being here and being your amazing self. here for you always as well <3
@CaringEzra I'm in tears reading this post, and sunnyboo's reply too😭😭 so I'm just gonna answer one question
to honour the one I lost, I have a special place in the garden under the willow tree, that's our special place where I go to talk to him🙂💖 I also buy him gifts on special occasions, that I keep in a treasure box under the tree💖 and I like to write poems and messages, and attach them to a balloon and let it float up to heaven💖
@Tinywhisper11
Aww *hugssss lolabeaanieee tightttt* I love youu too! 🤗💖
You have the most wholesome, beautiful ways of honoring your angel, lovely. 🥹💖
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou thanks sunnyboo💖💖hugs you tightly 💗
@CaringEzra 💖 thankyou💖 hugs you tightly 💗