losing a sibling

@vanny729

Dear Vanny:

I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of your sister. Losing someone you love so deeply and who loved you unconditionally is an incredibly painful experience, and it's completely natural to feel overwhelmed with grief, sadness, and confusion. It's healthy to express these emotions. Grieving is a unique and personal journey that takes time.

Your feelings of loneliness are understandable when you've lost someone who meant the world to you. It's like a piece of your heart has been taken away, and the emptiness can be incredibly challenging to bear.

Crying yourself to sleep is a way your body and mind are coping with the pain. It's okay to cry, to mourn, and to let out your emotions. Grief isn't something you can put a timeline on or neatly package away. It's messy, it's raw, and it's a reflection of the love you had for your sister.

Your difficulty in understanding and accepting her absence is a normal part of the grieving process. It often feels surreal, like a bad dream that you can't wake up from. The idea of living the rest of your life without her can be overwhelming because she was such a significant part of your life. It's okay to feel this way, and there's no need to rush through these feelings.

Visiting your sister's old room is a personal choice, and there's no right or wrong way to handle it. You'll know when the time is right for you. Grief doesn't follow a strict timeline, and you have to be patient and gentle with yourself during this journey.

The loneliness you're experiencing is a testament to the deep bond you shared with your sister. While she may not be physically present, her love and influence will always be a part of you. You can still find a way to connect with her in your heart and your memories.

It's clear that you want to honor your sister's memory and continue living a life that she would be proud of. That's a beautiful and positive intention.

In time, as you continue to grieve and heal, you'll find ways to cherish your sister's memory and keep her spirit alive in your heart. It's a challenging journey, but it's also a testament to the love you shared. Your sister would undoubtedly want to see you find happiness and fulfillment in life again, and that's a powerful source of motivation.

It's okay to grieve, and it's okay to seek help and support during this process. You're not alone. You did well coming here to share your feelings. In this Community, we care about you and we wish to be with you in this difficult time.

I hope you start feeling better soon.

Keep coming and sharing your emotions.

We are here for you.

All the best!

Marcelo.

I’m so sorry ❤️I’m here for you if you ever need to talk

I'm so sorry for you loss, Van y... I lost my sister almost 4 years ago (anniversary of her death is in two weeks) and I can relate to what you're describing... Right after we buried her, I left the city to be with my dad for a month, and when I came back to go to her grave on her birthday, my mom had already sorted out all of her belongings, her room wasn't her room anymore, not even her bed was there, and I lost it... I still can't be at my mom's for that long; I actually moved out because I couldn't bare to be there, feeling like she was in the room next to mine and knowing it wasn't true...

I wish I could tell you eventually it won't hurt anymore, but I can't... It hurts a lot to think about her not being here, watching videos of her and us, listening to her voice, knowing by heart every single thing she says in every video and knowing I won't hear her come up with new thoughts... It doesn't always help, but I try to remind myself that she's not in any pain anymore, and that if she had stayed, she would have probably lost herself (she died of a kidney disease related stroke), maybe she wouldn't have been able to speak or walk, and that would have destroyed her, she was so full of life and had so much to say...

I know there's nothing anyone can tell you to make you feel whole again, but let me share this with you: you will feel her all the time, sometimes you will respond to situations and think "hey, this isn't me, it's like she took control of me and spoke in my behalf". I feel her all the time; if I close my eyes, I can still remember how her hands felt like, or her cheeks, I can still hear her calling my name, laughing, and of course this isn't enough, but it's a new way of being and loving her, it's this new way to have a relationship with her, and I know in my mind and heart that, as long as I live, she will never be forgotten and she will live through me, my family and her friends.

One more thing: I discovered this technique to feel better. My psychologist recommended I wrote in a journal how I was feeling every day, but when I started, for some reason, I started writing like I was talking to her, and then I told her about my day, I told her about my pain and the pain of those who stayed here without her, I told her how angry I was at her for not taking better care of herself, I told her how much I loved her and everything I was not able to say to her on this Earth. This has really helped me when I miss her so much I can't breathe, it calms me down and I really recommend it to you.

I hope it helps... And if you ever wanna talk to someone, I'm here for you.

I'm very sorry for your loss, it is very hard when we lose the people who deeply care about us and love us unconditionally, sending my condolences and thoughts to you, Stay Strong 🙏

Hi. I know I am late but still wanted to support you.

I don't have any siblings so I don't really know how that feels but I know that loosing a person close to you hurts so much.

Grief is such a complicated process and it takes a lot of time.

Also don't try to compare your grief to anyone else's. Everyone is unique and different and if yours take more or less time than others, or is manifesting differently that doesn't mean that it is any less valid.

I know in such situations words cannot really help because eall you feel is pain but I genuinely want to support you and I hope you are feeling better now❤️❤️❤️

Wishing all the best to you❤️

I am so sorry. Losing a sister is not easy. Mostly when it seems like she was your rock. I can't not even imagine the pain you are going through. Unfortunately, loss is part of life and we must all grieve at one time or another and keep on living. Sure your life has changed since your sister is not here anymore, and it can in indeed be painful.

I give you all the support, love, and strength in order to get better.

@vanny729 I totally understand I lost my Sister last year and it hit me hard me and her were so close and she meant everything to me, i had such an empty gap in my heart because the only person i was closest to and could talk to was gone, thankfully my other sister was there for me, and me and her became very close and she filled that empty space 

@vanny729

I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved sister. Losing a loved one, especially one that has been a part of your life for such a long time, can be an incredibly challenging and emotional experience. We are all here for you during this difficult time 😞💔