my sister passed last monday
my sister's weed was laced with fentanyl last monday and i'm not taking it well. her funeral is next friday and her mom asked if i wanted to speak, i do but idek know where to start. she had so much to live for, so much planned for her life. she would've turned 21 this december. i've dealt with loss in my life but not like this one. if theres any support groups or anything that you guys could recommend that would be great. i'm not great at really accepting help and let my sadness consume me sometimes, most of the time actually, and i know she wouldn't want this for me. i haven't gotten out of bed since it's happened besides to go to work. i'm a photographer and im so backed up on photos because i just don't have any motivation to do it. i just miss her. she was one of the only people in my life i didnt have to constantly worry about because i knew she was safe. i was supposed to see her the night before, she was gonna meet up with me and my parents to see the fireworks on the river. she never made it to the river that night and i got a text from her stepdad the next day. she had been struggling with her mental health for awhile but she had just told me a few weeks ago that when i told her suicide is selfish, it stuck with her. she was actively still fighting to be here and someone took that from her. idek where to start the healing process of this, i wouldn't with this on my worst enemy.
@chickenriceandkale
😔💙
I'm so sorry for your loss.
That's absolutely heartbreaking 💛
I'm so sorry :'(
@chickenriceandkale
My sister passed away 2 years ago. I asked everyone that went through it does it get better they said no, but I have found that at any time I can talk to her. Even though we were in an argument when it happened, I know she still listens and helps guid me. I even can tell you the exact words she would say. So it dosent really get better just easier to talk to them knowing that they never truly leave us. During our lives we leave imprints on every soil we pass. So be kind to yourself and others, and thankful that you have been imprinted on. Pass there life and lessons to who you pass and they will never be truly forgotten.
@Tobecontinude
I'm so sorry for your loss 💛
@Tobecontinude
I am sorry to hear about the loss of your sister. I think that things get better in the sense that we grow around our grief, so you're right, it gets easier. I am glad that you are still able to talk to your sister and you know she is there listening and guiding you. You gave this user great advice. I agree that Chicken should be kind to themselves and others, and live life and remember any lessons learned from their sister.
@chickenriceandkale
I am so sorry to hear about this tragic loss. I can understand how upsetting it is to have your sister go in this manner after she choose to fight and live despite her struggle with mental health and suicidal ideation. I can understand not taking the news well. I wouldn't either, I don't think anyone would really. Death is never easy, but death from fentanyl is so senseless. It makes sense to be upset, to be angry even at whoever gave her laced weed. I understand how while you want to speak at her funeral, you are not sure where to even start. When we lose people in senseless ways, often we find that we have so much we want to say but struggle to get it into words. I understand that this loss is painful compared to all the other losses that you have gone through. It sounds like your sister was still pretty young and you saw that she had potential for more.
I get that asking for help is not easy. It is definitely easy to allow yourself to be consumed by sadness and to shut down. I am glad that you're here asking for help and recognizing that your sister would want you to find ways to move on and ask for help. I understand that this loss is depressive and it is probably hard to find much motivation to do much, so I am proud of you for still going to work. I understand it is hard to push yourself to be productive. It has not been that much time since the loss, so it is completely understandable if you just don't have it in you to do much. It is not uncommon to take some time to process the loss before doing anything else.
It is understandable to miss your sister. It sounds like you and your sister had a great relationship together and you must have good memories with your sister. I am sorry that she didn't get to see the fireworks with you on the river as planned. I am sorry that you had to lose your sister in such a traumatic way.
The thing about the healing process, none of it is linear. There is no right or wrong way to do this. Even though, there are stages of grief, there is not a specific order. It is okay to be angry that your sister is not here.
You asked about support groups or things that we can recommend. This grief forum is a great one, we also have the public member rooms and you can get support there. You can also connect privately with a listener. I would look to see if there are any peer-led groups in your location, either in person or online. It could be useful to find a grief loss peer group.
@chickenriceandkale
Omg I am so sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences to you. If you ever want to talk I’m here ❤️
I am so sorry. I can’t imagine how traumatic it would be to lose someone so suddenly, especially for something that never ever should have happened. This world, your sister, and you, all deserve better. Deserve a different ending.