Creating a Plan During the holidays
During the holidays, the best thing you can do is to create a recovery plan of sorts. My recovery plan includes what I call the Three C’s of Grief.
The first step is to choose. Choose what’s best for you. Even during dark bouts of grief, you still possess the dignity of choice. Grief often brings the sense of loss of control. Make choices about what you can attend, join, and do—and what you can’t—to help reinstate some of that loss of control.
And remember that choosing what’s best for you may need the input of someone else committed to your well-being.Second is to connect. We’re wired for connection. And grief, especially during the holidays, intensifies feelings of loneliness, which often leads to isolation. It’s difficult but important not to remove yourself from others’ lives.
No one wants to go to a party and constantly hear “How are you doing?” But it’s important not to fake it when you’re asked.” And that honesty will help you and will help others help you.
And lastly, is to communicate. Put your needs out there. Say to others, “This is going to be awkward or weird, but this is what I need.” Let folks know how you plan to respond to others who ask, “How are you doing?’’ The greatest difficulty with this, though, is the vulnerability it requires.
Communicating however you can to your friends and family will help them know how best to come alongside you, especially when grief arrives. And in those moments of breakdown or confusion, talk about it. It’s how we heal.
