Tips on being a Group Mod
I figured since the description says support for best practices, I would help by making a thread about it. I didn't see one, so apologies if it's already done. I was hoping we could list some tips on what we've found helpful. I have found that when I let entering mods know about the current chat situation (going well, maybe keep an eye on this, etc), they are appreciative and are able to enter with some knowledge of the current climate and what to expect. I just started doing this today and it went well!
Posting here so I can follow this!
I've realized that taking a step back is good! We have a natural tendency to want to respond to everyone, but that isn't helpful. Taking a step back allows others to respond to each other without our input.
I like to watch how the listeners leading the community discussions in the listener room handle things and then try to mimic that! Very helpful to model.
That's exactly how I approached being mod! When leading a discussion, your opinion is irrelevant, because it's not about you. You're just giving the food for others' thoughts. It's often the same in the support rooms. Let the guests and members drivewhile you just judge them every now and then to make sure they're still ontrack.
That's how I mod. I adjust my style depending on the energy in the room. Once everyone is moving, I pull out and let the members/guests respond to one another. If it's dead quiet, I'll get the messages flowing. I typically mod in the early hours US time so it's quieter. Certainly need to be flexible in approach.
I agree - sometimes I find I have to help get the ball rolling, but it's nice to watch it pick up and build on it's own.
It is always better to PM a listener/Mod who is currently in a chat room. I find logging as a member/guest to be more helpful as members feel at ease with other members and guests.
Personally, I found that reminding people of the rules in a kind, polite manner, right when things seem to be getting heated is better than waiting for someone to break them and then try to enforce them. Also, being direct helps too. Discussing with people why they can't talk about suicide or share social media never led to any positive outcome, in my experience.
I agree with what @Barush said. Along with that, if you delete a comment and the member argues that they are right, or if you feel that a particular topic cannot be discussed in chat rooms but the member feels their freedom is being violated, it is better to step back from the argument.
Make your point clear, delete the comment and encourage another member to share instead of trying to explain yourself. Most of the time trolls insist on continuing an argument.
My only objection there is that other members and guests in the room are concerned as well. They need to know why the comment was deleted, or else they become self-conscious of their own discussion. It's also unnerving for a moderator (someone with power) to take a drastic action and not acknowledge it, because it almost seems like they are trying to skirt under the radar, so to speak. In my experience, if I delete a comment or have an issue, I state directly why it was done, and if the member is confused or objects, I ask them to take it up with me privately and keep that option available for any and all who might have a concern. It helps members feel understood and heard, and thus safer.
I don't want to be the big scary mod who has big scary mod powers. I want you to know exactly how your community behaves and is expected to behave so that you can know exactly what to expect and keep yourself, and your fellow members, safe.
I agree with apple74 about guest/members being more comfortable talking with eachother rather than with the mods. I think a moderators job is to help lead discussions into a positive direction as Barush mentioned sending positive reminders of the rules to guest/members before things get out of hand; Very great point.
We're to make sure things do not get out of hand, and to help maintain the rooms composure.
As apple74 mentioned, if we'd rather participate in the discussions ourselves it would be better to sign in as a guest or member so that we do not make the group uncomfortable.
Really fantastic points everyone
:)
One thing I struggle with is coming in as a mod and a discussion and "plugging" myself into the discussion. Most the members are already comfortable with each other and freely sharing and then suddenly I show up. Usually I just welcome people, post questions when it gets quiet, and remind people to look over the rules. I have yet to find a good way to enter the chatroom at the start of my shift.
I think you're doing everything that is expected of you as a Moderator. If guest/members are aware they're being moderated it seems that's all it takes for them not to get out control. I remember just the other day going into the Depression room when there weren't any moderators and the users were discussing inappropriate subjects. I kindly reminded them that we do not tolerate graphic content and they were fine after that; however, If I start talking with them I realize the chat room is not as active. It seems to be more active when a chat moderator is not imposing too much; however, I think it is completely necessary for a moderator to be present just in case-- This way, when the room gets out of hand a moderator can quickly put things into a better direction!
:)
@HelpfulUnicorn I think it's okay to actually not say anything while moderating. As long as you keep a close eye on the chatroom and chime in when it's needed, and as long as the members are supporting each other in a good way, I thinkit's actually better to let them go ahead and support each other. What do you think?
That is what I have done at my last few shifts. I sort of just sit back, sip my tea and watch the support be exchanged.
I tend to greet as many people as I can to allow it as a moment for them to feel welcomed. Most usually appreciate this gesture as many members are here for the first time and can be somewhat intimidated.
I think one thing to stress is avoiding over-talking about the rules. Sex is usually not permissible, but if it's more of a passing comment then do not hound them. A.k.a do not be authoritarian.
Last, before banning someone or muting, be sure to contact them privately to speak about their conduct. Everyone deserves that respect.
Just my thoughts. Good topic!
I don't welcome every single person, usually I say something like "Welcome to all newcomers, please review the rules and feel free to join in whenever you are ready." Or something to that extent.
Good point about not hounding people, if it was a passing comment, it isn't worth calling the person out. Usually I wait a moment for another few people to post and shift the message of the main view and then I delete the message, if it is serious enough.
Very valid point. I only greet individually when it is slow. Multiple people, I tend to keep it in the same sentence, but attempt to use their names to make it more welcoming whilst avoiding spam. :)
I don't use names unless I'm responding to someone. Many who come in are guestsand likely don't know what their randomly-generated names are yet. You might be greeting someone who has no idea you're greeting them. And for those who do know what their names are, they might feel a bit put on the spot if someone pointedly greetedthem. They might not feel comfortable in the room yet, and I am perhaps over-cautious to make sure people don't feel pressured.
I do the same if a listener joins. They might just be checking in to see how things are going, or accidentally clicked on the room when they didn't mean to (I've done that so many times). Drawing attention to them wouldn't help in those cases. The support rooms should be focused on members and guests, after all.
But then, I can see your point, too, about wanting everyone to feel welcomed. Using their names to greet them when they enter can help with that. So I don't think either way is better than the other. Just different, and catered to different types of people.
Another thing I am wondering about, is what do you guys do when you log in to mod a chatroom and you find it is mostly listeners have a conversation amongst themselves?
I've actually never seen this. Can you give me an example? Were there no members or what was the scenario?
Sorry just now saw your post. A few listeners are chatting amongst themselves and when I scrolled back through the chatroom I saw a few guests/members had said things like "hello" and received no response. I would type out sample but I am on my phone
Very great point HelpfulUnicorn,
Somedays it seemsthere are a lot of Listeners in the Group Support Rooms. I think Listeners also need to understand their roles a little bit more just as much as we do ours. The Guest and Member Chat is for Guest & Members, the Listeners chat is for Listeners. I have a member account that I use if I need support, or want to participate in the Member/Guest Chat for especially that reason.
As you all mentioned, Moderators help maintain the composure of the room and at times guide discussions if the room gets out of hand.
Listeners, when available, take request from guest/members to provide active listening.. I think a lot of new Listeners aren't too sure about these things, and I think its our job as a community to help them get familiar with the process.
I was also informed by a Mentor once that its not against policy for Listeners to participate in the Guest/Member rooms, but as you mentioned when they seem to overtake the room it can be a little confusing.
Your thoughts?
I think you brought up a good point about listeners also need to know their roles. But as the moderator is it our job to remind them? If so, how should we best go about it?
As with most things, there probably isn't a single best solution, and it would depend on the severity of the situation. I haven't had much of a chance to test these methods, but here are some things I would likely try:
● Subtly and politely move the topic back to members. Greet those who just joined, ask those who respond how they're doing, and ask them other questions relevant to whichever chatroom we're in. This would hopefully return the focus to the members and the other listeners will either leave the room or get back to the members.
● Give a general reminder to the room about its purpose. This would be helpful for the guests and member, too, since there are often newcomers in the room. It may also remind the other listeners where their focus should be.
● Politely PM the listeners and ask them to use the room for its intended purpose. "Hey! I'm glad you're having a good conversation in [room] right now, but it's kind of overshadowing the members. Could you take your discussion to PM or to the listener community room?"
● Call them out publicly if they're discussing something inappropriate, whether in general or for that specific room. This can make our rules and guidelines more openly visible to those who don't know them yet, and show that we're going to stick up for those rules.
Always always always be polite, especially if you're making any sort of public statement to the room. The last thing we want is for listeners to bicker in the support rooms. Not that I think our mods would have issues, but some listeners can be disrespectful. If that happens, just remember where you are and what you stand for, both as a listener and as a moderator. And don't ever be afraid to ask for backupshould you need it, whether from another mod or from a mentor.
These are just suggestions, so maybe others have better ideas or things to add?
Rin, those are exactly the ideas I was thinking of but didn't know how well they would go into practice. Thanks for making it so nice and beautifully stated!
