Love but Give Space | Living a Healthy Life Series
Lesson: Love and Attachment are very different!
Some mothers think that loving their toddler means physically holding him all the time. You do not even allow him to put his foot on the ground! That is not love.
On the other hand, allowing your child to stand up and walk, even though he may initially stumble a few times, is real love. So love and attachment are very different. Do not be attached.
Advice: Love but Give Space.
How can we develop healthy relationships? The best example is our two hands. Put them together as though in a clap. They are together, and yet at the same time, there is an almost invisible gap between them. Whenever you like, you can release your hands – you are not bound. Your relationships should be like this – that you are close together, but at the same time, there is some space.
We are together; yet there is some distance, some freedom also. If you love someone, you set him or her free. We should know how to detach and how to be together. This is healthy living.
Hope you enjoyed and benefitted from this short healthy living class! Until next time!
@Fristo
This is simply amazing Fristo. Yes, love and attachment are two different things. Well the one thing about true love I know is that it will always come to you even if you set it free. If you keep holding on to something and force it to be with you, it will hurt.. Just like how it would be if you've a coir rope in your hands and it's being pulled from the other end. Hurts. Due to friction (sciency stuff hehe😏) But yes, that applies to everything. Set it free; what you love, have your own space, give them space, you grow and they grow with you. That is the beauty of love.
@Fristo I was thinking about this sort of thing recently. I started viewing it as a way of caring for someone’s welfare as an individual, vs. caring about them in how they relate to us. Kind of like - I want what’s best for them, not what I prefer for them or us. Did that make sense? I want things for myself in a relationship too, but I can’t be craving for that other person to fulfill that. If they happen to, that’s great. I can ask for things if I need them from that person, and hopefully if it’s a good relationship they’ll want to make an effort. But I can’t get bitter from unmet expectations. I’m thinking I should be able to make myself happy, and then whatever I get from others is extra.
My problem in the past has been that I desire this level of closeness that makes me think I’m safe and secure. It’s really more of an unconditional love thing that perhaps should come from parents, or maybe it is an illusion altogether, but I need to learn how to be able to have fulfilling relationships without that.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas So aptly put! If it comes, it comes, can't force or depend on it! But when it (unconditional love or something close to that) does come, we rejoice in gratitude and value it all we can.
