Looking for accountability partner (serious)

Hi this might be a stretch, but I am seriously looking for someone to help me get through some hardships.

Ive been putting myself through hell by constantly setting resoultions and then immediately breaking them. I am a bit of a lone wolf and that wasnt originally by choice but it seems to be a bit problematic for the past couple years. I have no one to hold me against my actions or words and even though I feel as if I know whats right, I tend to get lost in my own little bubble.

Something as simple as waking up early or something much harder like quitting cigarettes, perhaps working on my education, whatever it may be; would be taken a lot more seriously and possibly more realistically if I wasnt listening to myself all the time. Honestly it seems like im more worried about letting down a complete stranger rather than myself. Perhaps that is something I need to adjust but it also seems like a natural personality trait.

Problem is that I dont really have anyone to turn to in these situations and thats why im trying to reach out. It would be so thrilling (in a good way) to have someone nagging me about how long ive gone without a cig or how much effort I am making to increase my livlihood or whatever it is.

Ive done 1 on 1s, ive done group chats, event chats, etc, but those usually have an overwhelming amount of compassion and not enough challenge. I need tough love. I need someone to tell me how stupid I am for doing something stupid. No flowery conversation excusing mistakes and pretending its fine. No "hey atleast you tried" garbage. Im looking for a accountability partner that can second as a drill sergeant. You can flat out call me a failure and ridicule me for my mistakes, I need that. Im not looking for empathy, im looking for a firm kick in the ass.

Sorry if I rambled too much, but this is honestly a big deal for me. Ive been through severe depression for years before and I have been teetering on the edge of falling back into it. I dont want to go back to suicidal thoughts or hating life just because I cant find the importance of sticking to my resolutions and exploring the potential I have in me.

And just to add, if you are looking for something similar, im your man.