"Surfing emotions" as a trauma survivor (2)
Re-uploading my forum thread to reflect the right word count and an interesting discussion prompt. :)
I grew up in a constant state of survival mode, so I learned to stay busy and productive as a way to avoid feeling too much. If I was accomplishing things, I felt safe. If I slowed down, the feelings caught up. But now that I’ve been on this healing journey, I keep bumping into these waves of grief, fear, and exhaustion that I used to shove deep down. They come in strong, like emotions I forgot how to hold.
I recently tried that surfing-the-emotion activity and imagined my fear and stress as a wave I could ride instead of something I had to fight. And honestly? It helped more than I expected. I didn’t have to make it stop. I didn’t have to fix anything. I just had to stay present and ride it out. It’s still hard to let go of control. My brain still screams to grab the wheel and do something. But for once, it felt freeing to just feel and not solve.
There’s still resistance in me. But there’s also a part that’s learning it’s safe to feel now.
What helps you ride the wave when everything in you wants to run, shut down, or take back control?
"Surfing the Storm: Learning to Ride Emotional Waves Instead of Drowning in Them"
Discussion Prompt:
Many of us grew up in environments where we had to suppress our emotions just to survive. As adults, especially during healing, those buried waves of grief, fear, or exhaustion often rise back up. Surfing-the-emotion is a mindfulness activity that invites us to visualize those emotions as waves we can ride, rather than something we need to avoid or fix.
Have you ever tried riding out an emotion without trying to push it away or control it? What did that feel like for you? If you haven’t, what do you imagine would come up for you if you let go of the urge to fix or suppress?
Let’s talk about the tools or mindsets that help us stay afloat when emotions get overwhelming. What helps you ride the wave when the urge to shut down or run away kicks in?
@Juliet1 great post 💖 thanks for the information, I've not heard of this before💖 I'm always trying to ignore the emotions/feelings. But I've realised that I can't do that all the time cause it catches up to you. So know I hide under my blanket and just cry it out, or come here and seek suport💖
@Tinywhisper11
Staying busy and feeling this sense of unfulfillment or anticipation if you stop to take care of yourself is a very often overlooked sign of unprocessed trauma and a byproduct of constantly being busy to ensure survival. Allowing ourselves to unleash our emotions is a critical part of the healing process because it means we are validating ourselves and our experiences, and it's a reminder for our nervous system that it's finally time to start letting go. Connecting with others on this platform is a great way of doing that as well. :)
@Juliet1
Wow—thank you for putting this into words. I felt every line of this, especially the part about staying busy to avoid feeling. I can relate so much to living in that constant state of survival mode, where being productive became a shield. If I was “doing,” I was okay. Or at least, I thought I was.
But like you, once I started my healing journey, the feelings I had buried for so long started rising. And they didn’t just knock—they crashed. Grief I didn’t know I was carrying, exhaustion I’d ignored for years, fear that showed up in ways I didn’t understand. The first time I actually sat with those feelings, I thought I was doing something wrong. It felt uncomfortable, unfamiliar, even scary. But then I realized—I was finally listening to myself.
I’ve also tried the “surfing-the-emotion” activity. For me, it was imagining anxiety as a big wave that used to slam me down, but now I try to float with it. Just reminding myself, “this will pass,” and “I’m allowed to feel this,” makes a big difference.