relationship to self
from a young age, i hated myself. i was always different. i know some of you may relate to this - and for those who have - im sorry. you deserve so much better.
im not someone who was born into a happy and loving home, and this has significantly affected my mental health. i’ve been battling my mental health for 10 years - and i’ve found that supporting other people, has helped me learn how to support myself.
when you’re helping a member, one of the tips says something like “notice how compassionate you were to that person? try show yourself that same compassion” - well, that really resonates with me. i used to always help others, and completely neglected myself. now, i know that you can’t help others if you can’t help yourself.
even a therapist needs therapy, and that’s okay. it’s okay to have good days, it’s okay to have bad days. it’s okay not to be okay. don’t suffer in silence. be as loud as you can - you deserve support.
• what’s one time you put your needs first?
• what’s one thing that’s helped you to accept yourself?
to all the listeners here, you are so important. you might just be the reason someone smiled today. thank you, for all that you do. you are truly amazing people.
@lobster777
I've seen that thing that says to show yourself the same compassion as well. I can really relate to that, because that was something I always wasn't able to do in the past. I was very critical towards myself, and it was tiring.
needs:
One thing that helped me accept myself was actually that I slightly changed a specific thinking pattern. I still have areas where I'm not where I want to be yet. For example, to illustrate I'll take my appearance. I used to think, "I'm not pretty", but now, I changed it and turned it into "I'm not pretty yet". The "yet" is really powerful. It helps change your mindset and shows you that you have the power to change things. At this moment, I might not be where I want to be yet, but I know that someday I will. So this helped me accept the fact that the reason why I'm not there yet is not because I can never have it, but rater, it's because I'm just still working and making progress towards achieving it.
I accidentally clicked the post button I'm not finishedddd
And one time I placed my needs first is when I started caring for myself more, meaning I stopped criticizing myself that much. It's something that takes time to cultivate and learn.
And remember, show yourself the same amount of compassion as you would to others. So you're amazing too :)
@lobster777
I wouldn't go so far as to say I ever hated myself, but I definitely wasn't in love with a lot of parts of me, especially physically. I hate to say it, but social media has actually helped me in this regard. Seeing accounts of people on *** who were celebrating their bodies, regardless of what they looked like was really affirming. Seeing posts about how photoshop, posing, and styling really changed what people looked like and exposed how unrealistic media can be was also really eye-opening. These things really helped me learn to accept myself for how I am.
In terms of putting my needs first, I do this regularly with work. I find that I'm often being asked to go above and beyond for work, and while sometimes I am okay with rising to that challenge, I sometimes need to set firm boundaries. It's not fair that I would have to go out of my way all the time, so I am okay with putting myself first in these instances.
After reading your comment as your addition to your forum post, i just want to say that you’re inspiring. Genuinely. Thank you for sharing this!
@lobster777 one time I put my needs first was when I allowed myself to take a step back from supporting others to focus on my own healing. It felt uncomfortable at first, but I realized that taking care of myself actually made me a better friend and supporter in the long run. Thank you for this reminder. 💙
