Trusting Other People
One of the most important qualities for relationships is trust. However it is something that I found myself and a lot of others struggle with. Lots of people want to be the person others rely on and this comes easy to them, however placing trust in others can be much more difficult.
I believe this reluctance to trust others comes from negative past experiences. People who have had their sense of trust broken by others might struggle trusting others again as they are scared they might get hurt again. Once trust is broken, it rarely affects one relationship, but it spreads to other relationships too. People use this lack of trust as a way to protect themselves. It might make sense to want to protect yourself in this way. Betrayal is an extremely painful experience.
However, even though it may be scary, it is so important to build trust in your relationships. No relationship can survive without it. Rebuilding trust after it has been broken can be a slow and difficult process, however it is so rewarding. Once you find yourself trusting others again, you will find a sense of ease and comfort you didn’t know you were missing and your relationships will flourish. Don’t let your fears take away from your happiness.
Thank you for reading! I hope this post helped you a bit as it’s a topic I’ve struggled with in the past!
My question for you is: Have you ever tried to rebuild your sense of trust after having it broken before? How did it go?
@Nailaaaa
I think it's not that I stop trusting people but that with every experience, I learn how to spot the signs of trustworthiness which is very helpful.
@Nailaaaa
I have had to rebuild trust after it was broken in the past, and it definitely wasn’t easy. For me, it started with being honest with myself about my fears and acknowledging why I was hesitant.
@Nailaaaa
I've been talking with a therapist about this last week, I'm far to trusting by default and have had that trust broken a couple of weeks back, it's a common issue with ADHD, I'll learn but the hard way as always 😕😕
@Nailaaaa
Hi Nailaaa,
That was a lovely insight! I hope it all works out for you.
With me, trusting someone has never come easy- I don't think I have trusted an individual in my life. Hopefully, one day I can.
@Nailaaaa
Hi, thank you for sharing this, it really resonated with me. I agree that trust can be so difficult, especially after it’s been broken, and it makes sense that people use it as a way to protect themselves. I’ve found that rebuilding trust takes time and small steps, and it’s not always easy, but it can make a big difference in how safe and comfortable relationships feel.
For me, it’s been a gradual process of learning to trust again while also setting boundaries to feel secure. How did you find that balance between protecting yourself and allowing trust to grow again?
@Nailaaaa
Trust should be earned and not given too easily because unfortunately some people may take advantage of it. Although people are not perfect and deserve second chances, once someone breaks your trust or hurts you deeply, it can be very difficult to fully trust them again.
Making decisions about trust requires that some measure of trust be offered. It's like not knowing how or if a vehicle will operate without actually trying to drive it.
If you say, "I'll observe that person to see how trustworthy they are with others," you are withholding the measure of trust that someone else is offering.
If two people meet who believe trust must be earned, but neither is willing to offer it, no trust will ever exist between them. I believe this goes a long way to explain the exponential growth of mistrust in society.
It's convenient if you can trust a person a little bit at first, and gradually trust a bit more, and more after that until it's established that the individual has been proven worthy of trust. However, even that approach has often proven to be unreliable.
To make it even more complicated, it's surprising how often communication lapses or breakdowns are interpreted as betrayals. If someone forgets or can't afford to pay a phone bill, it can be interpreted as ghosting, then they're cut off and blocked from further contact. A gossip may misrepresent what someone else said, leading someone else to have feelings of betrayal.
Finally, because humans are flawed, we inevitably disappoint each other from time to time. For that reason, trust of enduring value needs to integrate episodes of being disappointed with each other.
There are however betrayals that there's virtually no hope of overcoming, such as unfaithfulness between partners. Also repeated disappointments can show that a person is stuck in their habits, and continued trust would mean self-betrayal.
I guess a person needs to decide if another person is worth the risk of additional heart scars. I have quite a few scars, but no regrets. To avoid becoming bitter and unable to trust, I'd rather have the pain and scars.
Thank you for sharing such an honest reflection. I really agree with your point that broken trust can affect not only one relationship but also the way we approach future connections. It’s understandable why people become more cautious after painful experiences.
I also liked how you highlighted that rebuilding trust, although difficult, can lead to stronger and healthier relationships. I think trust grows slowly through consistent actions, communication, and patience. Your post was thoughtful and very relatable. As i have been through this phase post my breakup.
I completely agree. It’s honestly way easier to be the reliable person for everyone else than to actually let your own guard down, especially if you’ve been hurt before. Putting up walls just feels like the safest option.
To answer your question, yes, I’ve definitely had to rebuild my trust before. It’s super tough and takes a lot of time. For me, what helped was just starting really small, giving people little chances to show they are trustworthy before fully opening up again. It’s scary to be vulnerable, but like you said, finally feeling that comfort and ease with someone makes it 100% worth it. Definitely a work in progress though!
@Nailaaaa personally i believe once a trust is broken its broken forever
even second chance doesn't work for them
forgiving is good but forgetting is not
because the person know what had happened what were they thinking and feeling at that time
and there is high chances that it would be repeated again too as same feeling might strike up again if the consequences before were not concerning enough for them
and all over once trust is broken its broken forever