Having a look Through Someone’s Else Eyes
We all see the world from our own eyes (perspective), and that's normal. But sometimes we found ourselves judging people around us, without really trying to understand where they're coming from (what are their perspectives).
A few days ago, I was in a conversation with someone close to me, and our opinion was totally different from each other. My first reaction was defending my opinion, But then I paused for a while and asked myself, "Why would he see it this way?" Once I stopped arguing, thinking about what I'd say next and actually “listened” , I realized that his view made sense from where he was standing, even if I still didn't agree with it.
What I really noticed (as i learned on 7cups) that empathy doesn't mean agreeing with everything. It means giving the other person space that it is their right (and okay) to have their own perspective without rushing to judge them. That takes time and patience
And honestly it's hard sometimes, especially when we're so attached to our own opinion.
The nice thing about this skill is that it gets better with practiceing.
Every time we try to really “listen” , we build that empathy muscle a little more 💪😉
Now Please share with me;
What was the hardest moment you were trying to understand someone’s else perspective when it was completely different from yours? did that affect your both relationship with each other ?
@6Dreamwish9
I was chatting with a member who did bad things. They continued at a rapid pace telling me all the bad things they do. I found myself in a awkward situation being forced to console this person. It was challenging and I felt conflicted fighting myself to show them empathy..🌲
Hi @AsherTree,
thank you for sharing this honest feeling . What you're describing sounds genuinely hard. feeling that you are forced into offering comfort while your own feelings about their actions were still unresolved. That conflict you felt is actually a really human response, not a flaw in your empathy.
I think this touches on something important: empathy doesn't mean we have to erase our own reactions to make room for someone else's. You can hold space for someone's pain and still feel uneasy about their choices. both things can be true at the same time. It sounds like you were trying to be present for them even while wrestling with your own boundaries, and that takes real strength.
Please tell How did you navigate that moment at the end? Have you found a way to balance being supportive without pushing your own feelings aside completely?
Really curious to know 🙏
And again thanks for sharing this with us💙
@6Dreamwish9
Well since I showed them empathy regardless of my own own struggle to make sense of a person who is constantly doing evil like things, it turned out to be a good thing. I managed to shift their ideals into a constructive balance that led them on a better path.(much to my surprise)
I feel it can be often neccessary to sometimes be vulnerable to make progress.. The fact is the member is the most important person in the equation and i'm simply a facilitater to a members progress..🌲
That's such a beautiful meaningful outcome, @AsherTree , and honestly, it's a great example of how staying present with someone, even when it's uncomfortable, can open a door for them to shift. The fact that it surprised you says a lot too
sometimes we don't realize how much impact our willingness to be vulnerable actually has in the moment.
I really like how you put it “the member is the most important person in the equation, and we're there to facilitate, not to fix”.
That mindset probably takes real self-awareness to hold onto, especially in a hard conversation like that one.
A deep Thanks for sharing this, it's a good reminder for all of us here.