Values vs. practical decisions
I’ve been thinking a lot about how we make decisions based on our values, like fairness, honesty, or kindness, versus what is most practical or easiest in the moment. Sometimes these don’t completely align, and it can feel difficult to choose.
Have you ever had a situation where your values conflicted with a practical decision? How did you handle it, and do you think it’s better to always prioritize values even if the outcome is harder?
@chialto03
It can be difficult but I just trust my instincts at any given moment.
It's about flexibility.
And doing what's right for that moment in time.
And adapting to the situation 🩷
I definitely experienced a situation like this during a group project for university. One of my group members was going through some really heavy personal stuff and was completely MIA, leaving us to do all the work. Practically speaking, the easiest and most logical choice would have been to just take their name off the project so our grades wouldn't suffer. But my core values of kindness and understanding made me hesitate because I knew they were already struggling.
In the end, we handled it by taking the harder path. We had an honest but difficult conversation with them, kept them in the loop, and covered their part of the work even though it meant way more stress and sleepless nights for the rest of us.
Do I think it's better to always prioritize values? Honestly, I don't think it's a black-and-white answer. If prioritizing a value is going to completely destroy your own mental health or well-being, sometimes you have to choose the practical boundary. But in general, even when choosing your values makes the outcome a lot harder, it leaves you with a sense of peace afterward. You don't have that lingering guilt of knowing you took the easy way out at someone's expense.
@sarakind really great reflection Sara, I love how you touch on how it is a grey area when it comes to putting our values first even when it is harder, it does depend on the situation itself in the end. <3
@chialto03
A situation I can reflect on is when I began learning to set boundaries for myself because I was feeling drained by certain relationship dynamics. I was choosing to keep my distance after being hurt and exposed to ongoing harmful behaviour.
Someone wanted me to continue showing up for that person so they would not feel rejected. While I could understand that desire, it felt like it would require me to abandon myself for someone else’s comfort.
In the end, I chose not to go because it went against my values of self-honesty and fairness, including fairness toward myself. It did not feel fair to keep being hurt while also being expected to manage or regulate the other person’s emotions.
It was a difficult decision because I do not want to them to feel rejected or hurt. However, it felt right to honour myself and what I believe is healthy and aligned for me, even though it was hard. <3
@chialto03 Great post! My values have conflicted recently since I had to dedicate a lot of time to my work and I barely had time for my relationships. I felt very conflicted since both things are important for me but I realize only one was urgent, and good friends can wait when they are aware I have other things going on
@chialto03
I try to just apply my values most of the time. I will access practical decisions when necessary to give the person resolution. Instincts play a major role, I don't overcomplicate a situation, I try to stay relaxed and focus.
