Where Compassion and Distress Tolerance Overlap

Reflecting on my (still very limited) chat experience and some conversations going on in the listener forums, I have been wondering about the interplay between the two fields of Emotional Regulation & Distress Tolerance (Being), and Empathy and Compassion (Relating).

So given the assumption that we are all here on 7 Cups as listeners because we want to be there for someone in distress, as a mental support voice and a patiently listening ear. We learn and practice active listening skills, and try to make someone feel seen and heard. We try to support them by making them see a way forward for themselves, without us giving advice or opinion, thus making them feel in control of the situation.

Now adding to the above mentioned Empathy and Compassion field the Emotional Regulation & Distress Tolerance. It is true that we as listeners go into a chat not knowing what will await us there – someone who wants to talk a little to feel less lonely, or someone in deep crisis, or even someone who is crossing over into private territory? It is a bit like Forrest Gump and his box of chocolates – you never know what you get.

So we as listeners have to carefully balance, in order to neither overextend nor overstep. This is about self-care as well as boundary setting. Maybe to those of you being on 7 Cups for a long time and having lots of experience in the chat format this is simplistic and basic knowledge; for me it still takes consideration and careful examination.