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I can’t do this anymore

User Profile: lovingCup504
lovingCup504 March 12th, 2021

I don't think I can continue fighting for a life that has never fought for me, I can't continue like this and I'm running out of things to try. Toxic family, no friends, regretful exes and a painful past.

I need to go. I tried so much, I try everyday.. but I'm tired of being the only one I have to count on, I'm tired of waking up to nothing and no one everyday.. no texts no calls, just school I don't enjoy but have to pay for anyway. I meditate i journal, but it doesn't make the bad days any better. Cause when it's bad I'm alone in it, no one to call, no where to go.. not one friend. I have to stay in a home where I am not valued, not even appreciated, a home where we don't talk to eachother and it's just so dark ..

This world has never been kind to me since I was little, yeah there were happy moments and I use to hang on to the promise of good days but those aren't enough to hang onto anymore -- there is no guarantee what my future would even be like.. and I'm tired of having to wait until this or wait until that to be happy or to feel like life is actually worth living.

I miss life I miss going outside even to the park, no one to go with no one to really carry me sometimes, I always have to be strong - I'm tired of having to be so strong just to survive. everything is just empty. On the days like today I have no one to fall on.. and I'm reminded that it's been a non stop cycle of hoping and getting disappointed by my life. I can't live like this anymore. I don't want to live like this anymore.

there's no one, there's nothing here for me.

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User Profile: zubasa70
zubasa70 March 12th, 2021

Hi, This is Kai I'm in bad time at the moment You are not alone. I 'm not professional to solve the problem that's why I am here I would like to listen you are not alone Really

1 reply
User Profile: lovingCup504
lovingCup504 OP March 12th, 2021

@zubasa70

hey kai, thank you for responding I really appreciate knowing I'm not alone 😔

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User Profile: Cotova
Cotova March 12th, 2021

Hello, I feel completely alone as well. I live with someone who doesnt understand me and mocks me when I'm not feeling well which makes me feel worse. Sometimes it takes all my strength to get through the day and I wonder, why? Why do I need to keep struggling through life like this? Believe me, you aren't alone.

1 reply
User Profile: lovingCup504
lovingCup504 OP March 12th, 2021

@Cotova

thabk you for responding it really means a lot , 😔

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User Profile: lovingCup504
lovingCup504 OP March 12th, 2021

@lovingCup504

i just wonder what did god have in store for me, cause this... I can't do this.

User Profile: Kimmkimm
Kimmkimm March 12th, 2021

@lovingCup504

Hi. I'm sorry to read it. I can't imagine how hard it is to go through all the things you've passed, but, as everybody said, you're not alone. Having you here is so nice and I'm sure it can be the begining of a healing path. It requires bravery to reach out and to open up, and you've already done that. I think that's a great first step, don't you think?

You're not alone. Sending beams of love to you

💖💖💖

1 reply
User Profile: lovingCup504
lovingCup504 OP March 12th, 2021

@Kimmkimm

yeah thanks for the kind words ❣️

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User Profile: Cotova
Cotova March 12th, 2021

I wonder that all the time, too. So many times I've been in tears, questioning what His purpose is for me here. But I also know that He tests us, and he hasn't put me through anything I couldnt handle yet. So far everytime I felt like my world was crumbling in on itself -I have made it through. It's such a struggle, especially not knowing what we are here for...what's our purpose. I just know that I'm meant for more than this so I have to keep pushing through.

1 reply
User Profile: lovingCup504
lovingCup504 OP March 12th, 2021

@Cotova

i really admire your strength and the way you think.. you already got what it takes , keep pushing 💕& thanks again for relating and replying

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User Profile: Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Sunisshiningandsoareyou March 12th, 2021

@lovingCup504

"If all you did today was just breathe, that's alright too "

It breaks my heart to hear you've been struggling to keep up , I understand, I really do get it when it feels like there's no end to our pain, there's no light at the end of our dark tunnel , there's no door we can break through , the sun sets but the tomorrow it brings isn't any better too , and I really can't promise you if tomorrow will be better than this , but certainly can't be worse , because we've already been through that ,right? ❤

I understand it's hard when there's no one around , it does feel so lonely and you're allowed to feel so ❤ it's so needed to have someone to lean onto , someone we can trust , someone we can turn to , someone who can remind us that we are amazing, someone who will love us for us , will listen us, understand us and just be there with us , it's such a simple need and I understand how it feels . Do you know who's gonna never leave you and will love you at your worst , pick you when you're falling and help you rise and get better ? , it's the absolute phenomenal human being, you'll meet when you look at the mirror ....the only one that really matters ❤

It's not easy to befriend ourselves so soon, but one day you'll get there , and till then you're not alone , we all are here for you , right by your side, cheering you on ❤

I admire your strength, I know you might be thinking , "what strength? , I am barely hanging , what strength are you talking about ? " ...I am talking about the strength it takes to reach out , only the most brave people are able to reach out for help when it's really needed, so yes, I see so much strength in you , you took the time to make this post , typing and reliving all the events making you feel low , it's so admirable , and the hope maybe blurry , but I can sense it's somewhere there , don't let go of whatever little good days you were holding onto , hold them tighter , cling on to whatever little hope you still have about better days coming , someday would be better ..just gotta breathe for now ,you're doing your best and we are proud of you for trying hard , just gotta take one day at a time and rest shall be just okay , hang in tight ❤

Sending beams of love and strength 🌻

1 reply
User Profile: lovingCup504
lovingCup504 OP March 12th, 2021

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

🥺🥺 thanks for writing this response, you're right & I have been trying to love myself and strengthen the relationship within myself .. thanks for the support 😢

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User Profile: barncat
barncat April 11th, 2021

@lovingCup504- Just wondering how you are doing. It has been a months since you posted this. Hoping you are having a little bit better time. Some things are opening up across the country. May you have someone supporting you on your side. You deserve it. Take care.

1 reply
User Profile: lovingCup504
lovingCup504 OP April 12th, 2021

@barncat

Hey thanks for still checking in, I'm doing much better now.. been doing all I can to keep positive and focusing on the good. I wish you well too, thanks again

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