Ophelia's Diary (TW and read if you want)
Hello all, I am Ophelia (you may know me as moon) and this is an open diary that I will be starting from today.
I already have made many posts for my poems, stories and even an Pure OCD journal.
I don't know for how long I will continue this as I am inclined to leave diaries or threads discontinued sometimes and post rarely from time to time.
I will try to be regular to post in this new diary ; there will be OCD (especially Pure O) related writings, small and long rants, variety thoughts and musings and sometimes poetries too.
I may not write about daily life always (it will get boring) but maybe I will write about day to day life and ocd related things sometimes too.
Thank you for reading, you can make comments but please be respectful and supportive and follow the 7cups guidelines.
I welcome true hearted suggestions too if you have any for anything just don't evade my personal space, or I will report anyone who does.
I..idk what to think about or even talk about now.
So many things..confusing me and sending me into dilemmas.
Ocd? Yes
Existential crisis? Yes
Tbh nothing actually even that matters to even talk about or even think about? ....
Idk
Should I even be here anymore?
On 7cups, it seems like I am wasting space as a member..even as a listener I am no really a good one.
..
(This blank space is filled with everything I want to really think and talk about, but cant rn..really I am tried of trying to even rn anymore)
@Gabryyyte
Aw this picture is from Kakuriyo: Bed & Breakfast for Spirits. The cute purplish blob yokai (Umibōzu) is hugging a white fox yokai (Ginji) 💙
Thank you 💗
Just a day off from exams and school and already wrecked my day
What am I supposed to do
That sentence
I hate it
I know what to do
I still dont know what to do
Will ocd never stop ?
I tried a psychology tip from a certified psychologist on yt .
Sigh..
Worked well at first
But after some seconds the intrusive thoughts got triggered
And now I am disturbed and dealing wuth not able to forget the intrusive thoughts
Its *** irritating hellish even
The thoughts never stop
The more i want to forget the more the intrusive thoughts keep on ruminating
The more I want to get better and make the intrusive thoughts stop they keep on waging a war
Even therapy will mever work out I know
I know because i couldn't even get help from a yt psychologist with good tips
Yes it will take time but i already feel so distressed and frustrated
Its exhausting to deal with intrusive thoughts everyday
Even though i want to give up i cant i dont want to yet I can't find any hopes for ocd recovery.
i really didnt think of that thoughtvthose are intrusive thoughts ehinch are uncontrollable and unwanted thoughts that dont make any sense ehy did I get triggered by only a word called noise. I am not thinking of any noise ans I am no jearing and listening to anything called noise and I will not i dont accoet white noise and brown noise as noise ai dont think of them as that and I dont think like the intrusive thoughts are saying and they not true i dont think intrusive thoughts and i dont even want to and intrusive thoughts are not and can never be the truth
I feel frustrated i feel depressed I feel stressed out of my *** mind
When will it be able to wash and feel clean
I want to wash my hands my face but mostly my hands and mobile
I want to be CLEAN
I am feeling su!cidal
I searched for phenyl
I know it wont help
I will not try to end myself
Not today
I cant
I am exhausted I am tired
I am so so so so done with all this
When will i able to get the soap and wash
When will i stop feeling dirty and like ***
I want to d!e
I want to sleep forever in a dreamless slumber without any physical nor mental feelings
I seriously wish I could st ab myself to d eath in if not one then two stabs..or even somone would st ab me in the heart.
..
Stop intrusive thoughts stop this intrusive thoughts stop stop stop stop stop stop i cant deal with the intrusive thoughts the intrusive thoughts are uncontrollable unwanted thoughts that I dont think and do not want to I dont and I will not think or want the intrusive thoughts ever , ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever! Never never never never never never I will never want intrusive thoughts and don't even want rn and I do not and will never ever think the intrusive thoughts and never want the intrusive thoughts ever no intrusive thoughts no intrusive thoughts no intrusive thoughts no intrusive thoughts no intrusive thoughts no intrusive thoughts no intrusive thoughts no intrusive thoughts no intrusive thoughts no intrusive thoughts no intrusive thoughts.
