Polaris 2088: open to replies
'New attitude', new journal*.
*I think I 'got a fell' for how I type and I would rather do this than close my account and do this among other things all over again b/c I felt compelled to seperate myself from my older journalling habits. A journal which I feel was 'getting crowded':
https://www.7cups.com/forum/GeneralSupport_28/DiaryEntriesConnections_1597/OpentoanyrepliesDiaryofPolaris2088_207980/1/
I will admit something right now while I can still remember it--a reason* for why I could dare to bare with a ~+$200 price range for a recreational/art course at Mohawk college when I can likely find the same topic being conveyed on one website or another for free or for a fraction of the price, is b/c..simply put..being around an 'irl teacher**' makes me feel more confident.
A vestige of 'pedagogues enthrallment'/the worst phases of it--not feeling secure in yourself as an adult to not go running to an expert for approval b/c you reminded..maladaptively obsequious (?)..when seldom would those callous cusses care for your life or others.
Undeniably having gone through the same phase as you truly is the only reason they are even allowed to live with more hours of human consciousness and yet may well care little for being an agent w/in the labor investment process 'home to' so many fragile, inexperienced 'dynamic aspects of emptiness' developing even w/in the parameters of 'haves and have nots' struggle which those f---rs are unwittingly contributing to the illusion of immutability in not caring.
In art the guarantee are different and differently 'felt'.
* aside from a lack of personal space at home
** and one for a topic I more likely believe, I will enjoy!
..vestige..pedago*gies*..
https://www.mohawkcollege.ca/alumni maybe later
'PHTOPY110 Introduction To Digital Imaging/Photoshop' a/o 'PHTOPY101Digital Photography 1'..
they interest me as much as another drawing course..are they more 'beneficial to learn' than another drawing course :/ ?..
I ask b/c I wonder how much would I have to learn to 'not waste as much time' on here..
I am fairly surprised by how little cosplay there is of Lorelei, the first of the original 'Gen.I' Kanto region elite four. That scene way back in 'X-men 1' where Famke Jannson as Jean Grey is giving a speech to a senate?--with some minor hair style and wardrobe adjustments she basically could have been Lorelei, one of the more long-running 'grounded' anime/manga characters imo.
I would think that a not too contentious starting point to understand modelling/photography would be understanding the modelling done for hair dye packaging. In my mind.
Deeply glad for a writing contest which accepts poetry, short stories and memoirs* done at library with no real age restrictions for entry
https://www.hpl.ca/forms/short-works-prize?fbclid=IwAR0nSr3JCaSMOX1NdzyyL_lxCF9KpgGgAAho_y3BMGbq9W4LfuEYaf5kILc
Too bad 'it closes' tomorrow and I cant whip up anything authentic by then.
* '~' How is that judged and what counts for that entry?. Turns out it started to be open around May.
Ought to look into opportunities the library system itself has to 're-train' employees for other positions sometime.
Peliculas acerca de la historia del industria de musica Indio.
There is going to come a time when even more ppl are 'unchurched' and while I do very much believe that adequate adherence to value systems/'what you find important' can emerge with nontheism and humanism, it doesn't change the fact that many are disengaging from theistic, mainly Abrahamic frameworks and with that comes certain notions which most 'lay-ppl' understood and heard of enough but seldom delved profoundly into pondering if they were not say clerics or scholars..
when it comes to hamartiological ('study of sin') notions and responsibilities, an atheistic Englishman named Alain De Botton has been awesome at understanding the significance of the concept even in a 'post-Christian, post-religious' landscape..
(
'Why it's useful to think of yourself as a sinner'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1fSziIcP5k
4:56
)
@Polaris2088
good video it makes sense that sinner based religions are an attempt to manipulate the behaviors of people ... to persuade people to behave in a socially responsible way unfortunately it was a failed social expedient the doctrine is really short sighted - not taking into account the intricate and complete psychology of human beings and how they would react to the doctrine - it could make a religious person question the origins of said religion seeing the effects of this short sightedness now far into the future the results of it - question ultimately if shortsightedness is more likely a behavior and characteristic of people or an all knowing God ... if they allow themselves to question it and most religious people do not allow themselves to question the results or the logic of the religion to question itself is a sin to learn from it is a sin and so it just continues and (to some) becomes more and more obvious as time goes on and history and the results are taken into account by people who do allow themselves to question it
it could have been good for humanity if only it could've evolved and people were allowed to be skeptical of the political and social influences on it some people have questioned parts of the doctrine (resulting in wars discrimination and other very bad social behaviors crimes against people in every way actually) so no I don't believe sinner based religion is good for humans at all and it was very short sighted it its design and the contradictions are too many and if anyone allows them self out of the guilt in questioning jail they are in I think would realize it not only doesn't make sense but the doctrine is an insult to the concept of an omnipotent all knowing God ...
@Polaris2088
I sometimes have a feeling that there is something creative or beautiful within me that only comes out when I don't get in its way, define it too much, or try to take credit for it. Like, something that is myself and yet not mine or not something I can control.
It's an experience where I find theistic language to be evocative and relatable, even if I feel like I'm maybe not using it in the same way as other people. I'd be able to express it in non-theistic language, but it would just feel a little more clunky and less poetic/reverent, to the point that the words would start to get in the way of the experience or attitude I'm connecting with. I can find Taoist language that feels like it fits sometimes though.
In terms of this experience, a lot of theistic concepts feel like they start to work (reference lived experiences) without being judgmental. There is something in me that is more beautiful than the usual me (humility), there is an experience of yielding to that thing (surrender) and having it create stuff (grace) that I don't really understand and can't control (faith), and I sometimes feel like I'm just obstructing it (sin).
@frigidstars27
I actually am a theist and have a very strong belief in God and some form of existence after death although i have no idea about either beyond just a very strong belief in both ... despite my disbelief in religious doctrine which I believe is just made by people even if some of it might have been true it was all corrupted a long time ago and whatever small truth might exist in it would or will only be known to everyone
something that is myself and yet not mine or not something I can control ... that mostly sums up my belief those words :)
Speaking from experience I know how bloody painful it is to go through years of online journalling and seldom getting a reply. There is a reason why some ppl prefer not to publish said stuff guys "=_=.
Times like these when I feel like giving up and closing my account.
__
...d--n fear of f---g up work after last week's bumble..
@Polaris2088
what was last weeks bumble?
@jennysunrise8
it was not addressing to security soon enough, a person laying on his back while using a cell phone, not among children in a children's area of the library.
Today was better.
@Polaris2088
it doesn't sound like a very serious security concern more just someone breaking a rule unlikely anyone thought you not addressing it right away was that bad
glad today was better
I suppose the way I enjoy hearing talk of video games is like when someone who grows up w/50s-60s R&B* hears talk of 90s & 00s R&B or when a retired athlete hears talk of a sport they no longer play.
Its about outgrowing something healthily.
*pre-late 70s/Whitney Houston R&B is understated imo.
I remember vampire origins:
In the Anne Rice mythopoeia, ancient Egyptian sorcery gone haywire made for vampires.
Marvel (comics) universe pre-sinking Atlantean .
It helps to be *nerdy enough to wander through Wikipedia to circumnavigate indeterminate time it would take to have taken to go through reams of obscure sources to find out about the origins of a certain ft. in media.
*=_= todavia me calle mal esa palabra but you know what I mean.
When Satoshi Tajiri passes away..
___
JJ Mccullough and Tim Allen might be among the few palatable self-proclaimed conservatives there are..
(compare and contrast with Faith Goldy and Ben Shapiro)
I risk saying this b/c I'm not too sure if saying that will become more inflammatory for me after today..
Canadian-inside bit..
When Satoshi Tajiri passes away..
___
JJ Mccullough and Tim Allen might be among the few palatable self-proclaimed conservatives there are..
(compare and contrast with Faith Goldy and Ben Shapiro)
I risk saying this b/c I'm not too sure if saying that will become more inflammatory for me after today..
Canadian-inside bit..