Kiara’s ED Tracker
I need a place to track my progress with my eating disorder… publicly!
I would LOVE comments and people hyping me up, giving me pep talks, advice and suggestions, etc.
Please help hold me accountable? I really want to kick this ED to the curb <3
Thank you! <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
And we'll be here every step of the way 🤍
Awww thank you <3
I ate toast with butter and bananas for breakfast. I ate it slowly, and didn’t overeat. But it made me feel kinda bloated and gassy, possibly from my overeating binge last night. My body hasn’t fully recovered yet…
Never underestimate binges from last night. 😅 I need to be doing a little better. I had a banana and a brownie bite today.
Anyway, I'm proud of you! You seem to be doing this pretty well when you do
Hey, you ate a balance of healthy and unhealthy. That’s good <3
I ate part of a pear, pretzels, cheese, and crackers for my snack. I think I ate a little more than I should, but not bad.
That's a decent snack too
That’s healthier than I tend to eat lol
@jesusredeemedme2425 I didn't know you had an eating disorder...sorry to hear it, O member of Yeshua's flock.
If you binge then if you haven't already done so, perhaps you should sit down & think about why you do it. Sure, you know the feeling(s) that compel you to go wild at the snack table...there is a motive or rationale at the root of every emotion. Why do you feel that way to begin with? Be honest with yourself about this. Maybe write it all down.
Tbh I’m not even super sure.
I have an overeating ED. Getting worse…
Lunch: I ate teriyaki chicken and jasmine rice with thousand island dressing. (I know, weird combo, but it was soooo good hehe). I had a stomachache from my binging spree last night, so it was hard to gauge how much to eat. I ended up feeling foul, mouth breathing (which is an easy sign that I ate wayyyy more than I should have). I wasn’t sure how much to eat to keep me going, I wasn’t deliberately eating a lot.
Snack: The rest of my pear, a squeezy peach yogurt thing I found, and a couple crackers. Made myself finish yogurt so I wouldn’t waste the leftovers, ate one more cracker than I should have.
Dinner: Asian salad. Didn’t overeat! Maybe ate one bite extra after I realized I was satisfied, but nothing more. <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Today I ate more freely, so I ate more than I should have, but I didn’t make myself sick or anything so… win???
@jesusredeemedme2425
You gave yourself some freedom, enjoyed more than usual, but stayed connected enough to your body to not go too far. Absolutely that is a win. 🎉 You're listening to your body!! I'm crazy peoud of you Kiara💕💗
@jesusredeemedme2425 definitely a win!!
yayy for enjoying food and keeping healthy!
@jesusredeemedme2425
💜💕
@jesusredeemedme2425
I ate rolls that made my tummy unhappy :(
@jesusredeemedme2425 So you know one thing that doesn't work... Next time, avoid those rolls.
Good point :)
@jesusredeemedme2425 take careee
I binged again :(
@jesusredeemedme2425 we believe in you ❤️
@jesusredeemedme2425
This doesn’t undo all the progress you’ve made, by the way!! Healing from binge eating is really hard (like REALLY hard.) it takes so much time and trial and error, and disapointments, and good days followed by really horrible days. I promise you, it often feels like it gets "worse" before it gets better (if that makes sense🤞)
Recovery can mean bingeing six days a week instead of seven. It can mean still bingeing every day, but coping with more kindness afterward. Recovery isn’t perfect, but you’re trying and I see that here, even just by how accountable and honest you are being and everything beyond that
I know how heavy the regret and shame you might be sitting with feels right now, it's awful. There will be a day where you can cope better, and i'm manifesting that for you, you deserve it so so much
there’s always tomorrow, and if not then, the day after that, and the day after that, and do not look at today as a failure, look at it as the shipping fee (annoying right?) to a package you've brought online that you really want. it sometimes takes a step back, to make a step forwards and it's hard to always see that in the midst of an ED recovery
Something that was life changing for me was really taking time to look for the why behind the binge. There’s almost always a reason, even if it’s not obvious right away
I want you to know, I AM PROUD OF YOU!! FOR STAYING STRONG!! I see you, I see the work you are putting in, and you really have a special place in my heart, this topic is very dear to me 🥹💗 Every day in recovery, is a step closer to a life without worrying about food, and you are killing it, Kiara
@jesusredeemedme2425 two steps forward and one step back is still progress! Nothing has been lost- keep going! 🤍
Why can’t I stop eating?? Why can't I cope without using food?
@jesusredeemedme2425 This ain't gospel truth & I am no expert...but if I had to guess, I'd say you're bingeing for emotional fulfilment of some kind, or to tame inner turmoil. What you need to do is figure out where that inner disturbance is coming from. Take some time to think about it &
write the results down.
If you want to fix this problem, you won't get anywhere unless you document what you do. Seriously. It doesn't have to be a polished essay or even coherent, at the start. Just do some focused self-examination, & write down whatever comes to mind. Once you've done that, you should have an idea of what to do next.
@slowdecline48 this is definitely a good point in my opinion
@jesusredeemedme2425 how are you nowadays? Good? Bad? Like a spinach in an onion field? Howre the meals going?/nfta
I cldnt find your other thread xD the accountability one. But i thought i'd check in- havent seen you around as much 🤍
I’m ok, not doing super bad or super good food wise. :)
I haven’t been posting a ton, and I’m so behind on notifications lol
@jesusredeemedme2425 you are doing great 😊
@jesusredeemedme2425 i noticed the reduced posts. Busy life? Dont feel bad about the notifs, not everyone can spend all day on cups xD and it sounds like your efforts food-wise are persisting which is really cool! 🤍
Yeah, distracted and sick and constantly overstimulated. :(
@jesusredeemedme2425 sorry- ive not been on cups so i didnt see this 😀 still sick? sending good vibes your way 🤍
It’s more like chronically sick.
Thank you <3