Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #3) The Detriments of Gossip
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Our next objective in this course is to master effective communication skills for healthy interpersonal and professional relationships.
Please watch this video
1. Why is gossiping bad?
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
3. Please reply to 3 of your peers  in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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@Heather225
1. Why is gossiping bad?
It's unfair, it erodes trust, and it makes you less likeable overall, which isn't useful because image is one of the things that are key to effective leadership.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
"studies show that when you gossip about someone the person you're saying it to subconsciously places you with the same negative trait"
@Elise849
Agreed! And my statement that I learned was also the same!
Very interesting right?
@Heather225
1. Why is gossiping bad?
The video puts it very well, but in summary, Gossip creates a negative relationship or group, and also as the "telephone game" Ends up being so far from the truth it's surprising. It bring down the vibes and positivity in the gossipers life, as well as feeding these negative thoughts also makes the gossiper a more negative person themselves.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
I did not know that gossip causes a subliminal thought in the person being gossiped at, about the person gossiping. That's very interesting .
@MrS7v7n
I've got to say, I really enjoy the vibes and realizations here in the comment section after watching this video. I will share this video too, it's an amazing truth that most look over.
@MrS7v7n
It is definitely a very useful video. Normally when someone gossips about something, I try to mention some positives about them to get them to see the person in a better light. I feel a bit better when I do that.
@MrS7v7n
I thought that was interesting as well. It seems that gossiping is contagious.
@Heather225
1. Why is gossiping bad?
Gossiping is toxic and spreads negativity. It is also unfair to the person you are gossiping about as they are not there to defend themselves. It can also make you look bad and make the people around you not trust you.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
I like the statement, "I don't know enough about the topic to comment." I also like sticking up for the other person by saying something positive about them.
@AuroraBriarRose0
The advice that they gave to avoid gossip is really good. I will have to try that out with people. I think it will be easy to use on new people. In general, I try to keep away from gossipers and try to minimize my gossiping.
@AuroraBriarRose0
Very valid points Aurora, thank you for sharing ❤
@Heather225
1. Why is gossiping bad?
It is toxic and it will make people think negative about you. It will also make you paranoid, you will think that other people will do the same about you.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
It will make you more likable. It is a hard habit to break but it will make a positive impact on your life. People will take a shine to you.
@Train1
It is definitely toxic Train, excellent answer! 💚
@Train1
Amazing answer, train. Thanks for sharing it with us ❤
@Train1
keep up the good work.
1. Why is gossiping bad?
It's mean. It's only meant to make someone else look bad while making yourself look good, which is really just silly. It also often backfires.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
I like the bit about not knowing the other person's perspective, so not wishing to comment on what I believe they were thinking or feeling in their absence. That's a good one.
@GoldenNest2727
I really liked your answer! Looking at their perspective is such an important point! 💙
@GoldenNest2727
I really like your point of view on this topic
@GoldenNest2727
I totally agree with you. It's kind of the reason why not to make judgments about others easily--we simply don't know all the fact. Great response : )
@GoldenNest2727
The fact that it often backfires is a good point. People don't realize that gossiping can not only create a toxic environment (as many have already mentioned), but can also just make you look terribly unfriendly and unapproachable. It can hurt so many people, especially if the person you're gossiping about is a friend.
@Heather225
Thank you for the Post Heather, honestly, it made me realize that people still do that. I didn't think about it because I usually just don't engage once the gossip talk starts, or I try to find people who don't gossip in the first place. But let's answer your questions!
1. Why is gossiping bad?
I am not quite sure how this is even a question. Gossiping can hurt so many people, because once it starts, it always gets out at some point.
People who have experienced that will definitely know what I mean.
So gossiping does not only make a person engaging in it less likeable, it also hurts the person the gossip is about. I don't see any positive parts in this, and that's why I think it should be avoided.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
Changing the topic can be a really nice way. This way we don't judge the people gossiping for their actions, create a safe environment and don't start discussions on people who are not attending.
Topics can include travelling, hobbies that we have in common, or anything else that is lighthearted and interests and includes all people.
All of this can be used in and out of the Cupsland, sadly gossiping happens in a lot of places.
Thank you for reading through my words, I really hope you were able to understand my point of view on the topic! 💜
@MelodyoftheOcean
Well said, Melody. Love your points. Thank you for sharing ❤
@MelodyoftheOcean
good job with this even so you were not sure at the start you did your best. Good job
@MelodyoftheOcean
I feel very similarly to you Mel, I don't engage in gossip and it has made me miss out on some of those bonding experiences before but it's just not a nice thing to do. It hurts everyone. Thanks again for a wonderful post!
@Heather225
1. Why is gossiping bad?
Gossiping is bad because speaking negatively about someone behind their back would leave you and people around you in a negative state. Person who is listening to the gossip would subconsciously create a bad image of the gossiper, so they wouldn't trust them and would wonder if they are also being gossiped on. It's generally poisonous cause the intent of it is to make someone look bad (who aren't there to defend themselves) and make yourself look good by sharing a piece of information about them.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
- By changing the topic or let the gossiper know you are not having any of that.
Examples of statements to get away from gossiping (I don't know enough about the situation to comment on it, I don't know the other person 's perspective so I prefer not to discuss what they were thinking or feeling in their absense)
- Point our good qualities about the person who's being gossiped about and stick up for that person in their absence
- Change the subject to a more positive topic for example traveling, health, exercising, visiting family at a social gathering or being involved in any interesting or exciting events.
@Harsvin
I agree with you Harsvin, gossiping leaves everyone in a negative state, which is not the vibe we want to be cultivating here at cups!
1 gossiping makes other people look bad, can be really hurtful and make other think you are doing it too to them.
2 I think I would either change the subject or sayi do not know much about what is going on so I can weigh in about it.
@Goalsforlife
Yeah I think changing the subject is a powerful but perhaps less confrontational way to stop gossip :)
@Goalsforlife
Changing the subject could be an effective way too since it could stop the gossip from its origin. Your comment is really inspiring :)
@Heather225
1. Gossiping is bad because it makes everyone feel awful. You feel more negative after partaking in it because you know it's not very nice, the person you're gossiping too now doesn't trust you and feels bad and the person you gossiped about will feel betrayed and hurt when they find out.
2. I really like the idea of saying something postive about the person being discussed, it allows everyone to know that you like this person and they shouldn't say anything bad about them in front of you.
@gentleFox20
It's really nice that you shared you idea here! Simply reject to join in gossip might be easier, but it's really courageous to say something positive about the person when other people talking behind his or her back!
@gentleFox20
Absolutely, gossiping hurts everyone. I think, saying something positive about the person that it's gossiped about, takes a lot of courage, and it's hard to change topic afterwards. Have you a different experience with that?
@gentleFox20
Mentioning to others that you like the person is a good suggestion, absolutely! It also subtly let's people know that gossiping about that person is inappropriate.
1. Why is gossiping bad?
I learned that gossiping makes other people associate this person with the bad trait this person mention. In addition, other people may suspect that this person talks behind their back to and thus not trusting this person.
Personally, I think gossip makes people less unlikely to try new topics and appreciate people around them.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
“I know nothing about the situation so I could not comment”
(I feel like this statement is easier for the person who invite one to gossip to understand)
Also I learned that exploring new things and topic could helps someone to get rid of the trait. I used to gossip a lot when I was in middle school to be honest. But I find it boring after finding a hobby I truly like.
@Glencia89
I really like the statement you took - I chose a similar one. Also, I admire that you reflect your past behaviours and are willing to change them! That's an amazing trait!
@Glencia89
Gossiping really does make people associate this person with a bad trait. It's also incomplete information too, so it's hard to see bad traits in context. As in: is that behaviour justified? Is it really that commonly displayed by this person? Do they have good character traits as well?
@Glencia89
I like the idea of trust, trust is so important!