Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #8) When you don't get the role you want
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Hello, students! Let's talk leadership!
Many of you have or will apply for certain roles that interest you! And some times we get it and some times we don't! It can be difficult to find out that we didn't get the role, but we can control how we react to it.
Here are some DOs and DON'Ts:
- DO talk to the leader of the role that you applied for and get some input on what you can/need to do in order to get the role next time! Be aware though most leaders of these roles are busy so give it some time!
- DON'T bring the issue into the support rooms. If you are upset, talking to a peer supporter about how you are feeling is ok!
- DO take some self-care, self-care is good for any occasion but its best to deal with those feelings of failure or disappointment outside of 7 cups, things like going on your member account can be so helpful to overcome some of these feelings
- DON'T think that you are obligated to stay on 7 cups right after finding out bad news, especially if you are in LSR/TL and you see other listeners who have gotten the role that you wanted! It can be hard to deal with and it can cause unneeded jealousy or hurt on your part! Not everyone is like this but if you think that this is a possibility that you can think this way staying away might be a great option!
- DON'T take it personally, everyone is ready at different times. It can be hard for us to realize this but just because someone got the role and they might have been here in less or the same amount of time doesn't mean that you personally are ready! Everyone grows and accomplishes things at different times!
- DO get a mentor, in general its a good idea to get a mentor but for things like your goals on 7 cups mentors can be great and helpful! They can give you feedback, do mock chats with you, and overall help you with your goals as I said before!
- DON'T think you have to apply for every role and every team out there! There is time you don't have to apply for everything! Its super easy to burnout that way, and that can lead to more "rejection" and hurt that none of us want!
*Never let not getting a role the first time discourage you! You will be told when you can apply again and use the feedback that you get to better yourself when you can/decide that you are ready to! practice makes perfect none for us are perfect and no one will ever be! Its a good thing to remember no matter your role as a listener your help is greatly appreciated and you are still helping so many people!*
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Activity: Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
There's absolutely nothing wrong with not being accepted for a role. I would accept it with grace and see where I could learn from it and try for the role again when I'm confident with my preparation. To the leader, I'd kindly ask them to provide me with feedback on where I'd gone wrong and where could I do better. I would also request them to guide me with finding a mentor for the role so I'm better prepared and thorough.
@BecauseImBatman22
well said batman
@BecauseImBatman22
Fabulous.
@BecauseImBatman22
I'm glad that you would respond this way! It's great that you don't take the feedback personally, and that you are willing to learn from it! Good job!
That's a great way to respond to it
@Heather225
- Yes it would be a little sad but I will respond in a professional way and try better next time.
- I would thank the leader for their time, ask them for feedbacks or whether or not I am suitable for the role and if not; apply for the role I will be good at.
@Hope2103 your response to the leader is so sweet and courteous 
@Hope2103
Yes, that sounds like an ideal way to handle the chats
I would be a bit disappointed but everything happens for a reason and I was just not ready for that role at the time. I will use that rejection as motivation to do better in the future! I would also keep up with that leader if the position is open, but I would continuously work on myself so I can better myself for the role and just in general.
If I didn't get the role I wanted I wouldn't be upset. I think being turned down is a sign for me to re-look into my strengths and what I offer and bring to the role.
Applying for any job role ccan be stressful, ensuring you have answered all questions well enough and showing your strengths and your whys for why your the right person can be very stressful and difficult.
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
As others have mentioned I would definately than the leader while also expressing the understanding from his/her position. It cannot be an easy decision with many applicants. I would ask him/her for feedback o where my application let me down and also what he/she feels I could do the help me in those areas.
@Cazzy8752 that's interesting, so you would look at the perspective of the employer/role decider too. I think that is wonderful!
@Heather225
It would momentarily be disappointing, but I wouldn't take it too hard. I think it is very important to bounce back by things. When a leader tells you you don't get the role it isn't a no forever. Most times they feel like there are some things you can improve on and often encourage you to reapply when you complete those things. I would simply thank the leader for taking the time to review my application and that I can't wait to improve the things they touch upon and reapply.
@wonderfulRainbow817 that's a great response :D here are some flowers for you
@wonderfulRainbow817 , feeling disappointed is understandable, appreciate how you mentioned about not taking it too hard, instead be thankful to the leader for providing the feedback and looking for ways to improve.
@Heather225
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
i'd ask them for feedback. i think that's pretty important. if it was a role i'd really wanted, i'd accept the feedback and try to improve so i meet the standards :D!!
@milkoreos , agreed! feedbacks are important and working on ways to improve is important part of being a leader!
@milkoreos
That's a great mindset to have.
What would you say to the leader who has informed you? I would thank them for their time in grading my work, be greatful I had the support given, and ask where I can improve for next time.
@explore1000 , great to read your views, I think it was similar to what I think! *high fives*
@explore1000 asking where to improve is important indeed!
▪︎If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
~I will take this as an opportunity to learn and reflect on the reason I didn't get the role and where I need to improve. I will not be upset, instead be grateful to have feedback and an opportunity to learn and figure out ways to improve.
▪︎What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
~I will thank them for taking the time to reach out to me and providing the feedback. I will further ask them for guidance on how I can improve and whether the role suits me, then reapply for the role when I am ready.
@unique73 that's wonderful, feedback is a great opportunity to learn
I generally do not mind things like that as I understand well that failure is a part of the process. When not given a role I applied for, I should try and reflect on what could be the reasons I did not get that role. I should then work on things so I have a better chance next time. To the leader that has informed me, I would ask for feedback on what I could work on.
@Heather225
Getting roles on cups is a dream of every listener. Though there are times when we don’t get the exact role that we want. But we truly don’t need to feel low for it. We must wait and work on us for the best time to come. The discussion is really conveys an important message in the cups culture.
Following are my responses against the questions respectively:-
- If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I might ask if there is any specific reason because of which I didn’t make it so that I can work on it for if I reapply for the role again I ensure that I don’t fall out for the same reason again. Meanwhile I will thank them to inform me and I will ask if there are more roles where I can apply for the time being or when can I reapply for the same role again.
See you in the next discusion!
Spreading love!
Ash. :)
@Ashvillium
Nicely said! 
As you mentioned there's no need to feel low, a missed opportunity just means another chance to learn.
