Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #8) When you don't get the role you want
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Hello, students! Let's talk leadership!
Many of you have or will apply for certain roles that interest you! And some times we get it and some times we don't! It can be difficult to find out that we didn't get the role, but we can control how we react to it.
Here are some DOs and DON'Ts:
- DO talk to the leader of the role that you applied for and get some input on what you can/need to do in order to get the role next time! Be aware though most leaders of these roles are busy so give it some time!
- DON'T bring the issue into the support rooms. If you are upset, talking to a peer supporter about how you are feeling is ok!
- DO take some self-care, self-care is good for any occasion but its best to deal with those feelings of failure or disappointment outside of 7 cups, things like going on your member account can be so helpful to overcome some of these feelings
- DON'T think that you are obligated to stay on 7 cups right after finding out bad news, especially if you are in LSR/TL and you see other listeners who have gotten the role that you wanted! It can be hard to deal with and it can cause unneeded jealousy or hurt on your part! Not everyone is like this but if you think that this is a possibility that you can think this way staying away might be a great option!
- DON'T take it personally, everyone is ready at different times. It can be hard for us to realize this but just because someone got the role and they might have been here in less or the same amount of time doesn't mean that you personally are ready! Everyone grows and accomplishes things at different times!
- DO get a mentor, in general its a good idea to get a mentor but for things like your goals on 7 cups mentors can be great and helpful! They can give you feedback, do mock chats with you, and overall help you with your goals as I said before!
- DON'T think you have to apply for every role and every team out there! There is time you don't have to apply for everything! Its super easy to burnout that way, and that can lead to more "rejection" and hurt that none of us want!
*Never let not getting a role the first time discourage you! You will be told when you can apply again and use the feedback that you get to better yourself when you can/decide that you are ready to! practice makes perfect none for us are perfect and no one will ever be! Its a good thing to remember no matter your role as a listener your help is greatly appreciated and you are still helping so many people!*
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Activity: Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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I'd be fine not getting a role for two reasons.
- It's just a role. A word. It won't inhibit my ability to make an impact on people, which is my goal. I know I still have a lot of ways that I can help people, and not having a role won't stop me from doing that.
- It gives me an opportunity to improve. I would want to identify why I didn't get it, and then fix that so I can try again.
@Dan76
I enjoy and agree wholeheartedly on your perspective here Dan. Words don't define us, neither do degrees or certifications, we will still do what we always have (:
You're sooo right! Not getting a role will not inhibit your ability to make an impact on people!
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would say, may I ask what the main reasons for me was/were not obtaining this role? and what can I do to improve on getting this role. I should respond in a calm and respectable manner
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
Accept it graciously and ask what I could have done better, and how I can improve.
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Thank you for letting me know. I'll work on it and possibly apply again. Cheers!
@Elise849
Always like your replies Elise!
@Elise849
Well said and keep up the good work.
@Heather225
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Respond in a positive way, because in all honesty, it's a learning experience that clearly shows I'm not ready for the position!
I'd thank them for sharing the news with me, especially because it will be uncomfortable for them to have to inform me. Either or , they are only doing the right thing by informing me (:
thanking them sounds like a really nice option! ❤️
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I believe I'm already holding the highest leadership roles that are open to me, and I'm very thankful for the opportunity to serve the community. I wouldn't take it personally, though, if I was refused a role. I'd get competitive and would work to improve my skills. I'd take it as an opportunity to grow and show what I've got.
@GoldenNest2727
I like the idea that you get motivated by getting turned down instead of discouraged. You have a great attitude.
@GoldenNest2727
Very well said, Golden! I completely agree
Thank you for sharing it with us ❤
@GoldenNest2727
i really like how u adapted your question to your needs as a member hitting the highest role.
@GoldenNest2727
I love the passion you've shown in this post - 'I would grow and show what I can do' - brilliant!
@Heather225
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
I would try to get as much feedback as possible as to why I was not given the role and work from that feedback in order to try for the role again in the future.
Question: What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Thank you for letting me know. Could you advise on what I could do to improve my skills in order to apply for the role again in the future?
@Train1
It sounds like you truly want to improve. I appreciate that 💜
@Train1
Thoughtful answers, Train! Thanks for sharing it with us ❤
@Heather225
Thank you for the post Heather, I appreciate it a lot!
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Answer: I would be very happy that they took their time to give me the news, as leaders are often very busy. I would like to ask them what I can do to improve and maybe one day achieve the role. That way I would have something I could be working towards. Like a goal, but with no pressure on it, as roles are always needed and there will always be a next opportunity.
In case I would feel upset for the moment I would log out of cups, maybe take a walk, clear my mind and see it from the leaders' perspective.
I would tell them that I appreciate their response and that I would be very grateful if they were able to give me any feedback, so I can do better next time ^^
Thank you for reading through this, you amazing person! Feel free to take a cookie! *hands you cookie box*
💛
@MelodyoftheOcean
Amazing answers as always, Melody.
It's a delight to read your colourful posts ❤
@MelodyoftheOcean
really thoughtful answer and keep up with the good answer.
@MelodyoftheOcean
Your kindness and gratitude to the leaders of this community is lovely Mel! I hope to cultivate that level of compassion when I'm in that position.
@MelodyoftheOcean
Great way of handling things. True approach.
Keep going this way all along. Best wishes.
@MelodyoftheOcean
Sounds like you are a really positive and appreciative person!
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
My initial respond would be feeling upset, and i'll let that feeling sink in for awhile then try to take a break from 7Cups for some time, by keeping myself busy with things that I love to do such as writing poetry, going for a walk or treating myself with a delicious meal. By doing so, i would be managing my emotions better and helping to keep my mind away from it.
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would ask them for a feedback to recognize my shortcomings, and request for advice/ guidance on how to improve my skills for the specific role. Work with them to be better and take this as an opportunity to learn.
@Harsvin
I think it's so important to take that time to feel your feelings, I'd do the same <3
@Harsvin
I totally agree with you on put one's mind away from emotion for a second. I often do this after exams scores comes out and it is amazing : )
@Harsvin
Appreciate the way u handle things.
1 first talk to a ps and then do self care.
b once I calmed I ask for feed on why I did not get the role and how I can get better for next time I apply.
C work with mentor to get better.
2 thanks for your time to look over my form. Can I get feedback on what I can do to get the role next tim?
@Goalsforlife
Insightful answer. The feedback from mentor could be really helpful!
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
The first thing I would do is go and make a cup of tea! Give me five minutes to process how I'm feeling before I reply :) I'd thank the leader for their time and ask if they could possibly give me some feedback. I'd be patient in waiting for a reply and if they said they were too busy I'd reach out to a mentor instead. If it was a role I was extremely passionate about I'd take steps to be successful the next time I applied. If the feedback seems like another person would be better suited to the role then I'd hope to graciously accept that and figure out where my skills/strengths could be best used.
@gentleFox20
Great answer! It's really important to figure out what one is feeling before taking action, otherwise one could done some unconscious move that is not friendly to other people.
keep with the good work :)
@gentleFox20
I think it's really great that you mention the option that sometimes it might be better to let go of the idea of a certain role and focus on finding your own strengths instead. That's really a great tip, thank you for sharing it.
This answer is so wholesome, I love the idea of waiting a minute to respond <3
