Gay Married guy living dual life
Hi I am a 37 year old guy. I am married gay who is struggling with emotional turmoil, sometimes too much due to not being able to express my true self. I mostly live a dual life and have guilt of affecting someone's life. I didnt had a choice but to marry and I am lot further in life now. I admire good looking, fit guys and wish to be friends with them and more. Whats my fault but of course i cant say this to anyone. I cant tell anyone what my true emotions are, need to hide what i like and need to express what i dont like. Sometimes these things feel overwhelming. I sometimes admire other guys, sometimes compare and this causes low self worth. I pretend to watch cricket when i dont like it. I wish to be comfortable with who I am without changing, change will come afterwards. I want to be stronger physically. I want to have healthy body image and good self worth. I want to be comfortable in my own skin.
Any other guy going through similar emotions or turmoil want to connect? Sometimes talking to someone going through similar challenges can be really helpful.
@tidyTiger1384
Hey, @tidyTiger1384.
This is some heavy stuff. I imagine it weighs on you and makes your days pretty difficult right now. I'm sorry that you're going thru this. I can relate in a way, in that I also married before fully figuring out my sexuality among other things, and it was very difficult. It's even more so if you do care for your partner. I will suggest that as long as it is safe to start taking steps to live the life you feel you're meant to without any harm coming to yourself or others, (besides the fact that it will emotionally be very difficult,) you must. It's not fair to anyone, most of all yourself, to have to live your life watching through the bars of that cage. Take care of yourself, and do the best you can. If anything I said works for you take it; leave the rest, as I've seen some people on here say. But do know that with this difficult time, the people of 7-Cups are here to listen impartially and hear your pain. --- moth
