Advice? Experiences? (i guess this is just a vent lol)
Hey yall!!
I'm Jasper (he/him)
and I'm almost 16 (literally 2 weeks)
and I just barely started to accept the fact that I am a trans man not just nonbinary.
I was wondering how long it took y'all to get used to the new name and pronouns?
I came out to a bunch of my friends with my new name and pronouns (they already knew that I'm queer)
I feel like I'm lying to myself because I still feel very much like "oh I call myself a girl occasionally without cringing that must mean that I'm lying to everyone including myself"
I know I'm not a girl because of how happy I feel when I look masc or people tell me I look masc.
I just feel like I need to fit the "I feel my dysphoria all the time" type of thing but I hate hate hate hate HATE my chest so much and I don't feel dysphoric all the time
I want a binder more than I want an electric guitar or one of my songs recorded (that's a lot) and I know I could prove to my mom and dad that I actually am trans if I could wear a binder for even 5 minutes and see how it feels
I just don't know
I feel like I have the wrong body but I still look feminine and sometimes I don't hate the fact that I am fem that much
I also dont regret growing up as a girl which confuses me even more
I'm so conflicted
I just don't know how it feels when I feel 100% right about my gender
is it gonna be like this forever?
I just want to be happy in my own body
and I don't think I can do that in this one
can any other trans guys please give me advice or your experiences before you transitioned physically or even now if you are transitioned?
I could really use help with this
@PicklesANDOcean4ever
It takes time to feel comfortable in your own body
But how you feel alone matters.
You are beautiful as you are.
Give yourself time to navigate through this 🩷
You are not Ali's man
You are not Ali's man
@Madyoum what?
@PicklesANDOcean4ever Hi Jasper. It sounds like what you’re dealing with is classic imposter syndrome, sensory overwhelm, and the mental friction of early social transition. Your experience is completely normal and shared by countless trans men.
Remember, your brain has had nearly sixteen years of practice responding to an old name, old pronouns, and female framing. Slipping up in your own head or not flinching every single time isn't a sign of being a "fake". It’s simply linguistic habit. It often takes several months of hearing a new name and pronouns in daily life for the subconscious mind to fully catch up and rewire.
It also sounds like you may be caught in the trap of believing transition requires 24/7 agonizing dysphoria. The human brain naturally adapts and numbs out chronic discomfort just to function day-to-day, so dysphoria ebbs and flows. The intense joy and rightness you feel when presenting masculine (gender euphoria) is a far more reliable indicator of who you are than a constant state of suffering.
Not regretting or totally hating growing up as a girl is very common. Having positive childhood memories or parts of your past that felt fine doesn't invalidate your need to live authentically as a man moving forward. Transitioning is about who you want to be today and in the future, not about retroactively hating every second of your upbringing.
The pressure to feel "100% certain" right away often causes paralysis. Try to focus on how you feel when you do things like trying out safe chest binding, adjusting your hairstyle, or wearing clothing that affirms you. Gender clarity is usually discovered through lived experience and small reliefs, not by solving a philosophical puzzle all at once. I know this is a lot, but I truly hope the information is helpful 💙
@Jamani Thank you so much for writing this, I really needed to hear this today. I hope you have the most amazing week!
@PicklesANDOcean4ever
You’re so welcome, Jasper! Take it one day at a time, be gentle with yourself, and have an awesome birthday in a couple of weeks. You've got this!
Keep trusting what brings you joy!
@PicklesANDOcean4ever
You’re so welcome, Jasper! Take it one day at a time, be gentle with yourself, and have an awesome birthday in a couple of weeks. You've got this!
Keep trusting what brings you joy!
@PicklesANDOcean4ever
You’re so welcome, Jasper! Take it one day at a time, be gentle with yourself, and have an awesome birthday in a couple of weeks. You've got this!
Keep trusting what brings you joy!