I’m scared of the transitioning part of transitioning
I want to transition but not really. I think I would be a lot happier if I transitioned and people saw me how I see me, however I don’t want to go through the transition itself. Im so scared of the awkward conversations and coming out. I don’t want the appointments and the explaining. Such a big change is so uncomfortable to me. The whole process sounds so embarrassing and scary but I know I would be happier with the result. Idk if any of this makes sense but if anyone else can relate I would really appreciate advice.
@courteousOcean9942
I don't have advice, but I can absolutely relate. I'm non-binary and my gender fluctuates a bit, so I want to take estrogen and do some other small changes, as I'm never masculine and often feminine. But I'm just so scared of these exact things you've mentioned. My dad would be annoyed if I changed my name and would probably just keep deadnaming me. My extended family would probably gossip about me behind my back. My childhood friends in the Mormon church would probably think I'm crazy or feel bad for me. So... I get it. I wish the world wasn't such an unkind place to us. That we could deal with just the physical pain of transition and it could be simple and people could accept us for who we are. Unfortunately, that's not the world we live in. But at least we have each other. :')
I'm sorry if this didn't help, but yeah... I can relate to this.
@courteousOcean9942
It makes total sense to feel that tension change can be thrilling and terrifying at the same time. Sometimes imagining the end result, feeling yourself fully seen and desired as you are, can make the scary steps feel a little more enticing, like a slow tease before the reward.
