My thinning hair is so depressing...
I have been out trans going on 4 years now, and most days I like my hair. I've been growing it out for probably 3 years now.
But some days, I can't think of anything other than how awful my hair looks. "It's too thin on top," "You look like Gollum," "Everyone knows your bald," and the like. The truth is I don't even think it's that bad! I look in the mirror, and I can tell I have a bit of a bald spot but overall it looks fine! That said, when it gets even a little greasy, I just feel like the ugliest person on the planet!
This is in my mind, I know. But that doesn't make it any less real! Before I came out, I just buzzed it. I am not opposed to that even now, but I feel so proud of how far I've let it grow! It's a part of my femininity, but some days it causes me so much stress I just want to shave it all off! I just start comparing my hair to everyone else's -- even anime characters!
I know I shouldn't compare myself to other, and I know I'm being ridiculous. But knowing these things doesn't change the dysphoria!
I'm not sure why I'm posting this -- maybe just support? Maybe some hair advice wouldn't hurt -- either hair care or how to style it. I would shower every day if I could, because those are the days my hair looks best, but I know that can damage your hair (and your skin for that matter).
@HappySpecter
I get it.
It doesn't matter what other people say, if you don't feel it within , for yourself.
I want you to just style it as you like and when you wake up, look in that mirror and say firmly, I am beautiful 🩵🤗
@Amanda84 if you have not been getting it trimmed that can be why or the shampoo and conditioner you use can be a reason and stuff like that u can talk to ur hair stylest and ask that
@Limefuzzy5940
Thank you 🩵🤗
@Limefuzzy5940
The day I posted this, I actually spent a bunch of time watching YouTube tutorials about hair care. Products and trimming were a pretty big part of that.
I have this fear about transitioning because balding runs in my family. I'm sure you don't look like gollum. You're really strong for living as your self ingeneral. I really doubt you're ugly! Sorry about the dysphoria, it's a b*tch. I'm actually growing my hair out from a buzz cut and I'm really happy that I'm fighting the temptation to cut it and wait for it to grow out.
If you don't mind me asking, how old are you roughly? I'm 21 and I can't imagine ever getting to the point where I'll be able to live as who I want to be. You're not alone
@agreeableSkies9889
I'm 42. I was in my egg for a really long time. Honestly, having read some of what you've written on here, your story sounds pretty similar to mine!
I actually really like the way I look overall, but my hair continues to be a point of dysphoria for me. Most days, I don't have an issue with it. Some days, I even love my hair! But it always comes up eventually. My grandma had a huge bald spot, and she was ashamed of it. A lot of my family have reinforced that shame in me too. Getting rid of that is so difficult, but I know I'll get there eventually -- even if it ends with me shaving my head again and buying a bunch of wigs!
@agreeableSkies9889
Regarding not getting to be who you want to be -- it takes time. You're ready when you're ready 🥰
I know that doesn't sound helpful, but you can't force things. I remember when I first started transitioning, I hadn't recognized I was trans yet. I was getting bored with boy clothes, so I started experimenting with women's clothes: leggings, heeled boots, and cropped t's mostly. Then came the makeup -- SO much fun!
I had a lot of pressure to not be me. It took a really long time for me to shed that (I'm still letting go of it, to be honest). But it'll come.
I'm really happy and proud of you for finding yourself eventually. You give me hope for some type of future
UPDATE!
The other day I decided to try washing my hair but not conditioning. It turns out my conditioner was weighing my hair down more than I thought! I've since thrown it out. It looks so much better! I've even gotten compliments on it!
Thank you to @limefuzzy5940 for the advice! I need a trim badly, but that will have to wait a week or two.
