Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
Considering therapy? Talk to a licensed therapist, wherever you are. Get started
  1. Forum
  2. LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support
  3. Advice please

Advice please

User Profile: OrangeJuice395
OrangeJuice395 March 15th

Hi everyone, you can call me Christy. I’m an 18 year old female. For reference, I’m dating my boyfriend of almost 3 months. Lately I’ve been getting these weird thoughts like “why am I dating a guy when I could be dating a girl?” These tend to pop up once a year randomly and I don’t know why. It never happens when I date girls. (I’m queer) A similar thing happens a few times a year where I question my gender identity. It’s always the same thing just randomly throughout the year. I probably sound crazy or weird but I promise I’m not. Is something wrong with me?

2
Feel better with online therapy Professional, confidential and affordable. Start today
User Profile: Aayla
Aayla March 15th
@OrangeJuice395 that's not weird at all. Sexual orientations and gender identities are far more complex than the few "official" labels can detect. They're just broad descriptions, but each individual case might be so complex and unique that a label might not feel as all-encompassing as we'd like it to be. At the end of the day, a label is simply what you feel is the best descriptor for who you are. Maybe not the perfect one - just the one that's closest, the one that fits the most. But you can also use more than one label, ore none at all, or choose one but than still be very particular about specific details.

That being said, your experience might mean you have a preference for girls, or it might just mean there are moments when you feel more inclined that way for whatever reason, or a hundred other things. You can keep analyzing your feelings to find out where they come from - for example, how do you feel about the boy you date? Is the attraction physical, emotional, mental? How intense is it? Does it differ in any way from what you feel for girls? Keep asking yourself insightful questions and don't rush to find the answers, they'll come with time and you're under no obligation to have all the answers now. Self-discovery can be a long journey, but it's one worth going through
User Profile: frostypatterns
frostypatterns March 16th

Seconding what Aayla said + want to suggest you look up "bisexual cycle/bi-cycle". I don't know if that's what you're experiencing, but I saw a lot of people talk how their attraction fluctuates like that periodically.

So, as you can see it's completely normal. And even if yours doesn't exactly fit the definition of bi-cycle, I don't see why you would not be "normal". Everyone is different. Same thing about gender identity fluctuations, there are many people who relate to you. You probably will find similar stories and questions all over the internet, you're not alone!

Talk to a licensed therapist Wherever you are, whenever you need support. Get matched
*Support Forum Disclaimer
My communities
Community guidelines
Report an issue
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist