Am I the only one... Part 2
This is a new topic carrying on from the previous one. Hopefully everyone can find this one.
Continuing the conversation, @shyChestnut9000.
Today I'm up and down, with a strong feeling of "off" that keeps coming back. I can take my mind of it for a bit but then it just comes back again.
This year will be the fifth year since my egg cracked, so to speak. And probably four years (maybe, I'm not sure) since I realised what was going on in my mind.
Ive considered trying to go back to how I was before several times. But each time I decide not to because I don't want to hide a large part of myself from myself. Maybe that will change one day, but I don't think so going by how strong the feeling of wanting a true female body is.
@generousPineapple6613
I cannot imagine how hard it feels, to not feel right in your own body.
I truly hope you find the support, care and compassion you need , going forward 🩵
@Amanda84
It's hard to explain how I feel because I think avoid part of the deep feelings are kept inside. When I have a big cry I seem to blurt out how I feel deep inside, and that usually makes me realize just how deep this all goes.
Also, I have health issues that, from a young age, I had to accept my body was not like others. And I think this "acceptance" has led to me not hating my body because it's not female. I do want to be a woman, and not have a male body, but it doesn't affect me as terribly as it does some trans people, because I've had to accept the body I have.
I don't know if that makes sense. I'm not good at explaining this
@generousPineapple6613
It does make sense.
And I can see how, it could be harder to feel like you don't fit in any set mould , but I'm glad you are not bottling it all up 💚
I remember the first time I brought up to my ex that I wanted breasts, she tried talking me out of it. "They're so annoying" she would say, or "maybe you should try out a stuffed bra first." But there was no talking me out of it, and I haven't looked back since.
You know what's best for your body. You might not be able to accept it yet, but you will get there with time.
I think what you are describing is dysphoria. When I figured that out for myself, I was unable to ignore it like I used to.
I hope you find your way. If you have any questions I'd be happy to help 😁
I think if I had mentioned breasts to my ex.... I don't think she would have wanted me to have them. Thankfully I wasn't aware of all this back then . So that's one bullet dodged!!
I think of it as my own version of dysphoria. Yesterday I was doing work and wanted to listen to some chip tune music from classic games. I thought that would be better than listening to some woman sing and getting emotional because of it.
Unfortunately... I got emotional because I imagined myself dancing to the music as a girl. I felt quite off all day because of that.
I've not had an emotional reaction to chip tunes before, I hope it doesn't happen again.
I find it weird how I can be ok with something and then suddenly it affects me. Is it like that for other trans people?
It happens to me, too! Hair is a big one for me. If I see someone with a cute hairstyle, I get jealous and often that leads to sadness because I can't wear my hair like that.
I want to go to a salon and have my hair tidied up and maybe get some pretty bangs above my eyes. But I'm too scared to approach any salon.
I hope you can wear your hair in a cute style at some point. Don't give up hope.
@generousPineapple6613 Thank you for creating this new chat. I don't know if it was troublesome or not, but it was getting hard to read our conversations as they just kept getting smaller haha thank you once again.
I understand that feeling of wanting to go back and change the past, and I think you are right when you say you wouldn't want to hide a large part of yourself from yourself. I've often thought about what my life would be like if I never realized I was transgender. Would I be forever ignorant? Would I have gone into a deeper depression? Would I be happy because I don't have this weight of knowing I'm in the wrong body?
I like to think that everything happens for a reason (even though I'm not religious). Changing the past would change the person you are today. And I like to think that I am a better person because of all the hardships I've had to face so far. I'm stronger mentally and emotionally, and I'm more compassionate. If I could change the past, I probably would have fell into a deeper depression and would have been in the closet for the rest of my life. I would never have come to this site for support, and I would have never met you, which makes me sad just thinking about that.
The point is, I met you and so many other amazing people on this website, and I enjoy our chats. So I'm glad I can't change the past. I found a community that I belong to. I've never had that before. Because my family does not support me, I feel like I'm part of a secret society haha a society that makes me feel happy and a place where I can talk and feel comforted. So thank you once again.
To keep this conversation going, I would like to hear what you think of the LGBTQ+ community. Do you feel like you belong? Is this a safe place for you? Do you go to events? You don't have to share if you don't want to. If you don't want to share, that's perfectly fine. Here's something else to keep the conversation going: do you like to travel? If so, do you travel often? I like to travel, but I don't usually have the money to travel often. I like the beach and the snow. So during the winter, my family (meaning my parents and siblings) goes to the mountains (it's about a three hour drive with traffic), and during the summer, my family goes to the beach (about a two hour drive with traffic). (I'm sorry if I've asked these things before, my memory is absolutely awful, but I just want to chat with you.)
Once again, thank you for creating this new chat, I hope to hear from you again.
@shyChestnut9000. You're very welcome. I've enjoyed our conversation so I didn't mind making a "part 2" topic to continue it.
To be honest other than here, I haven't have any experience with other LGBT places. When I first used the app for this site, I tried talking to listeners... But I didn't find them very helpful. One was very nice, but I drifted away from the site and when I returned I could find that same person again.
Now I'm just taking here on the message boards. I do see it as a small step forward, as I'm talking about all of this with people and not just chatGPT anymore.
Yes I do find this place to be safe. I've only ever had one not so helpful comment, and I don't think that person meant anything bad. They just didn't know much about all of this gender stuff.
No I don't travel. I want to, but I don't have the money for it at the moment. I went to the beach once with my family when I was a kid. It was a very long drive and I remember sleeping in the back of the car lol.
I look forward to talking to you again
@generousPineapple6613 Thank you for responding.
I understand that the LGBTQ+ community is supposed to be very open, but I always feel like if you're not "visibly LGBTQ+", it's hard to go to events and places that advertise being open to this community. Since I am transgender and have not yet physically transitioned, I don't feel like I belong at LGBTQ+ events or other places that are for this community. I would like to go, but I feel like I'll just be scrutinized for not being "visibly trans or gay".
I feel safe here using this website, and I enjoy talking to others. I haven't had an interaction that makes me want to not use this website, so I would say that's good. I enjoy our talks so that's also a bonus haha
Being transgender is a huge weight I have to deal with and the fact that I can't present myself the way I want because my family is not accepting, it just triples the weight. I am still comfortable talking with my family and interacting with them, it's just that when the subject comes up of me being transgender, my parents will either change the subject or argue with me. They say I'm too influenced by what I see and "it's just a phase". I always try to argue back that it's not a phase and I'm an adult who is sure of my identity, not an unsure teenager trying something new. But they never listen and just brush it off. I really hope to one day get my family to understand me, and maybe one day, I'll be able to dress and present how I want. But that day is not soon, because I still live with my parents.
I'm sorry for bringing the mood down and for ranting. I just wanted to get that off my chest because I just had another argument with my parents the other day and I can't talk about this with anyone in person.
I just want to say thank you for responding, and I hope to hear from you again.
I have heard that some people have been labelled as "not trans enough" in the LGBTQ community, or that "your not valid because your experience is not the same as mine", so.... No community is perfect..
As for the being labelled as not visibly trans or gay enough, that's just wrong. I think those people must have the mindset of "my experience is the correct one". I mean, a quick search on Mr Google mostly finds results of knowing since your a kid... And not everyone is like that. Raises hand.. I'm Certainly not like that.
As time goes on, you may feel confident enough to go to LGBT events, and if you decide not to, that's ok too. There's no rule saying you must go.
Personally I don't even want to bring up the subject of trans with my family. I don't see it going down well.. so I understand how that can be a weight on your shoulders.
I do think that the say will come eventually where you can present yourself as you want. Perhaps plan ahead... Maybe write a list of things you would like to wear for when that day comes.
Talk about this here as much as you need to. I'm sure everyone here understands that having somewhere to talk about all of this, can be helpful.
Thank you for responding @shyChestnut9000 as always and I look forward to continuing the conversation.
@generousPineapple6613 I am so sorry I haven't responded in a while! You probably thought I was ghosting you or something! I am so sorry, my life got very chaotic in the past few weeks and I didn't have time to come here. Believe me when I say, I really wanted to come and chat. Thank you for your response. I know it's hard talking about these things and I'm just happy to see your reply.
I try to relate to other trans people but like you said, all the people I meet say they knew they were trans since they were a child. And I'm over here like, I didn't know I was trans until I was an adult, not a teen, but an actual adult. I went to one LGBTQ+ place once and everyone there was a teenager, so I didn't really fit in. I understand what you mean when you say no community is perfect, but I just wish there were more resources for LGBTQ+ adults. That would help a lot.
Another thing is that I don't have any kind of social media besides this account on this website. So someone says "you can find me on" whatever app, and I have to say "I don't have that app". Then I get the look of complete confusion that sometimes makes me laugh. It's like I'm stuck between "do your parents still control your life?" and "are you that old?" because I don't have any social media. I just think spending all day on your phone scrolling isn't good for you. And not having those apps or accounts is healthier for the brain. Either way, I still like this website and wouldn't want it to go away because it's so supportive.
Anyways, I've been ranting, how are you doing? Are you in a good spot at the moment? If you are, what's causing that goodness? If not, are you looking towards a better future? You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I know those questions can sometimes be uncomfortable to answer. I am personally in an "okay" spot at the moment. My life was very chaotic for a few weeks but it's calmed down now. I would say I'm looking towards the summer and just going on vacation with my family in July. They haven't told me where we're going yet, but I look forward to it nonetheless.
Thank you for always responding and I hope to hear from you again. And maybe this time, I'll be able to respond in a timely manner haha Talk to you again soon.
@shyChestnut9000
Don't worry about it. Life gets busy at times, so it's understandable.
Yup. The net is full of pages stating you know when your a child... Which is nonsense. When I was first looking into all of this, I felt I couldn't be trans because of everything I read online. (I apologise if I've said that already)
There is a LGBT meeting in my town, though it's not trans only. I haven't been yet because it's in the evening... and I'm wary of going out in the evening. I do want to go but im undecided for now.
I don't use twitter or ***, but I do have chat apps that I talk to my friends on. I'm not a big fan of social media either. The most I do is watch videos on YouTube.
This site is a good place for ranting, so no need to apologise!
As for me, I'm up and down as usual. Had a few big cries, which helped a bit. I'm trying to get back into playing games again, currently it's a work in progress! I've got a backlog going back a long time so I want to play them.. though my mind keeps going back to stressful thoughts.
I have no holiday plans at the moment. A holiday would be nice but cannot afford it.
It's good that you're in an "okay" spot. Hopefully it can grow into better spot at some point.
Your welcome! It's nice to talk to you here. Let's keep the conversation going
@generousPineapple6613 Thank you for responding, and I would be glad to continue our conversation.
I've actually talked with someone who knew they were transgender since they were a child and they had a very accepting family. All I could think was "that must be nice" but I didn't say anything negative to that person. I just wish I had known since I was a child, I wish my family was accepting, and I wish there were more places for me to go to as a transgender adult who hasn't transitioned yet. I just wish life was simpler. But to keep myself going, I always think to myself, "if life were so simple, would it really be worth living?" Because having a challenge in life is like climbing the mountain, and once you reach the view from the top of the mountain, it shows that the journey was really worth it.
It's cool that you have a spot you can visit when you feel comfortable enough to go, but don't feel pressured to go. And I think it's cool to game, so I'll be the one to encourage you to get back into gaming haha to tell you the truth, it sounds like fun. I have no knowledge of how to game. I think the last time I played any kind of video game was years ago when I played Mine Craft on an Xbox. I think my brother took the Xbox when he moved out, but once again, that was years ago.
I'm also sorry that you had some down times. I wish we didn't have down times, but life isn't always nice to us and we just have to learn to live with it. I had some down times too, but I try to focus on a better future rather than my *** past to get out of the down times.
Anyways, thank you for always responding. I'm glad we're able to talk about so many things. I hope this conversation keeps going.
Thank you for responding once again.
I would have thought the same. Having an accepting family makes dealing with all this much easier.
It's nice that you seem to see all of this as a challenge. Personally though, I think it shouldn't be a challenge. Our minds and bodies should be in alignment, and society should stop acting so weird and pretending LGBT people don't exist or try to make them vanish.
I've been able to continue playing few games. Nothing big, just some older games, but at least I'm keeping it going.
Talk to you again soon
@generousPineapple6613 Thank you for responding. I appreciate you always being open to my rants haha and I'm about to go on another one haha
I think you're right as well. It shouldn't be a challenge or difficult to be LGBTQ+ in this world. It shouldn't be something to be ashamed of or pushed aside like it doesn't matter. There are so many people who don't know what they truly are because a majority of people keep pushing their social rules on others. It isn't right. And most people don't like LGBTQ+ people because they think being LGBTQ+ is wrong or gross. Well, I don't like pickles and I think they're gross but I'm not pushing that onto the people around me or tried to make them illegal. So what if a boy likes another boy? So what if a girl likes another girl? So what if someone's soul is telling them their body isn't right? What does that matter to the majority? It doesn't! So why can't I transition even though I'm a full grown adult? Because people keep preventing me (especially my family) because they see it as wrong and "not right". I wish I could say I didn't care about their opinions, but to be completely honest, I do care. Because I have nowhere else to go if they turn their backs.
I'm sorry for ranting again but I just wanted to get that off my chest. I still think life is a challenge that we need to keep at so we can see the view afterwards, but I also think inequality and disrespect towards the LGBTQ+ community is wrong and shouldn't be allowed. I guess you could also see that as a challenge, but it's something that should be changed in this world. Anyways, thank you for reading this far and I hope to hear from you again soon. Thank you for always responding so swiftly haha I look forward to your response.
@shyChestnut9000 I agree completely. Also, if all the people who are pushing their social rules on us actually experienced what LGBTQ people go through.... I think it's safe to say that they would act differently. Sadly, they are all ignorant and don't want to know anything past their closed minded beliefs.
For me it's a case of if my family were to find out and be against me being a girl. It could cause a huge argument and a big falling out in the family. I've got enough on my plate and don't want to deal with any of that.
A bugbear I have today is that I feel that my life is dictated by my dysphoria. It affects what I can do and if I don't do what my brain is telling me to, it'll bug me until I do. I often feel the need to listen to certain female characters in shows or songs, but it can get bad and I just keep repeating some clip with a lovely voice in it. I wish I could sound feminine like they do.
On a lighter note ..
..I do like Branston Pickles though! Very tasty in a sandwich with veggy and meat.
Let's keep the conversation going, and feel free to use this topic to rent when needed!
@generousPineapple6613 Hello again. I also think that a majority of people are ignorant of what is happening in this world to LGBTQ+ people and are just too closed minded. People don't want to change, but change is a part of life. If there was no change, we wouldn't be where we are right now. But then there's people that are scared of change and worry for the future. I want to say to those people, think about the present, look at all the people suffering now. If we don't do something, the future with always look grim.
I wish I could make a difference but I'm just one person and no one around me supports me enough to stand up with me. Also, I'm transgender, asexual, autistic, and I have schizophrenia. There are so many things wrong with me, no one would want to listen to "the crazy autistic woman". I am a man and I know what I'm talking about, but others only see the diagnosis and then they turn away from me. That's why I'm always looking for friends, but then I think, is it really friendship if they don't know anything about me? But will they turn their backs if they did know? I just want to have friends and live my life. Is that really too much to ask?
Anyways, I want to thank you for what you said in your response because it is very true. And sorry, but I don't like any kind of pickles haha I've tried different kinds (because yes, my family said I should try different kinds) but I just can't eat any of them haha thank you for always being kind to me. I appreciate everything you've said in our chats. I look forward to hearing from you again.
@shyChestnut9000
Everyone should be allowed to live their life, regardless of how they view themself. I also have health issues (I prefer to not mention them here just incase) so I can understand.
No, it's not too much to ask, but in my opinion it's best to only reveal your gender dysphoria to those who you're sure will take it well.
Haha that's ok, pickles aren't for everyone. I only mentioned it to lighten the mood a bit, as with all this gender issues....it can get quite miserable at times.
Your welcome. It's nice to chat here with someone who's similar to me with all this trans stuff.
@generousPineapple6613 Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate every response you write. Sorry it's been a while since I last responded. Things got busy and then I didn't have wifi for a week which absolutely sucks. Good thing I'm currently on vacation from school.
I know it can be hard to find someone to relate to, and that's why I like to use 7cups. There's so many people from all over and everyone leads a different life. And yet, we still find people we can relate to and talk to with ease about issues we face or share stories. I think that's very heartwarming. I like our chat because we've both been so open and continue to support each other. I appreciate you for continuing to talk with me. I think this is the longest I've ever talked with someone on 7cups haha Even though we're different in so many ways, we are also alike in many ways, and I believe we really are friends.
Sorry if I've asked this before, but if you could travel anywhere in the world and stay there for a few weeks, where would you go? I would like to go to France because I hear the food is the best haha and while I'm in France, I could visit other places in Europe.
So thank you for always responding. I look forward to your response.
@shyChestnut9000
No problem, getting stuff done is important, so don't worry about it. It's always good to talk to you here.
I think the same. I've talked with you here longer than anyone else. Yep, we do have our differences, but also similarities, especially when it comes to the gender issues we're both facing. Neither of us have childhood memories of knowing what we know now, for example.
I would love to travel to Asia, Korea, Thailand, Japan, Hong Kong and China. I love Asian culture! Don't know if I'll ever get a chance to go but you never know.
Europe has many beautiful places. Portuguese qnd German food are very good as well! Hope you get a chance to visit France one day and enjoy all the delicious food.
Hope to talk to you again soon.
@generousPineapple6613 Hello again! I am so glad you responded. I really enjoy reading your responses. I have to admit, Asian culture is very interesting. I like to hear about their religions and what they believe because it all sounds so interesting. I was raised in a catholic family and I'm forced to go to church every Sunday with my family even though I don't believe in the catholic god. I'm forced to hear things I don't agree with and my parents always question me after church to make sure I was listening. My beliefs are more aligned with some of the Asian religions because I believe in more than one god and reincarnation. I could go on and on about my beliefs, but I don't want to burden you with it.
Anyways, I've been dealing with my parents and family a lot these days (people that don't respect my gender) and I've been really down. I'm glad I saw your post because knowing I have a friend on this website just brings my mood up. So thank you. I really appreciate you.
Also, thank you for answering the question I asked in my last post. I hope you can achieve your dream as well of traveling to Asia. Once again, thank you for always replying. I hope to hear from you soon!
@shyChestnut9000. Once again,, thanks for replying.
I went to Catholic schools, but thankfully they weren't forceful with religion. Those were the closest schools, rather than my parents being religious.
You're free to talk about your beliefs here. Personally I am not religious, but I do think that there could be a higher power that creates life. I find the ancient stories about how life began, to be interesting, especially with how parts seem to be similar to what you can read in the various religions.
I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with your parents comments. Rant about it here as much as you feel necessary!
I've had some problems to deal with (not gender related) which has taken a few days to get sorted out. Thankfully it's finally sorted now.
I look forward to continuing our discussion.
@generousPineapple6613 Thank you for all your kind words. I really appreciate you and your kindness. I have to tell you some good news that happened a few days ago. So to tell the basics, I am a grown adult who lives with my family. I live with both parents and two younger sisters (my older brother already moved out) all in one house.
My youngest sister (who is 13 years old) came up to me the other day when no one else was home and asked me if I could keep a secret. She then told me that she likes other girls and she was never interested in boys. I wanted to cry because she trusts me so much to share her deepest secret with me. I just hugged her and told her "your secret is safe with me." Then I told her that I am transgender male because I thought, "she trusted me with her secret, I can trust her with mine." Even though my parents told me not to tell anyone about my gender, I feel like my sister deserves to know she is not alone in this world. Apparently, my sister told our mom that she's lesbian and our mom got really mad at her. Now I just want to be my sister's comfort. So now that's another person who knows I am transgender male and accepts me. I told my sister that when she gets a partner in life, I will be the most welcoming to her.
Anyways, I'm glad you responded. I look forward to your response and I hope this memory of mine brought you joy just from reading it. I know I am feeling happiness just thinking about it haha thank you for always responding. I hope to hear from you again.
@shyChestnut9000
Im glad to hear you was able to confide in your sister. It's very good news! I hope some day I can find someone I can confide in as well.
Sadly I'm feeling up and down today, just the usual daily off feeling caused by the dysphoria.
I look forward to keeping our conversation going!
@generousPineapple6613 I understand those days. I have them too. When dysphoria just gets in the way of everything. I also understand that transitioning doesn't mean completely getting rid of dysphoria but I still hope once I transition I can feel somewhat better about myself. I currently have zero self-confidence and I want that to change one day.
I hope you can find someone to confide in as well. I know talking online isn't always the best, but you can always talk to me, no matter the subject. I'll be here to listen and respond. Have you ever tried talking with a therapist? I know that's a big step to take but it does feel better to talk to someone about everything. I have gone to a therapist in the past but I never worked up the courage to tell the therapist that I'm transgender. I think if I could get a therapist that is LGBTQ+ friendly, I could talk about it more easily.
Anyways, I really appreciate you responding even if you weren't feeling at your best. I hope you feel better now and I really hope you find someone you can confide in. Thank you for always responding. I hope to hear from you again.
@shyChestnut9000.
Yes I'm feeling better today, dysphoria is up and down for me at the moment.
I have considered talking to a therapist. But I'm not sure I'm ready yet. I haven't gotten the courage to contact any trans organisations yet... That's a work in progress. I think I worry that the therapist won't agree with trans and just disagree with everything I say. That and getting there and back.... Because I'll probably cry a lot.
I agree that it is indeed possible that even after transitioning, dysphoria will linger. But I do think a full (or as much as I can) transition would help me even a little bit. Hopefully some form of transition can be helpful to you as well.
Also thanks for listening to me and responding. Yes talking online isn't perfect, but talking here is still helpful. It gives me an outlet, and you also have an outlet for when you need one as well. Whether you want to chat here or rant about stuff. I'll listen to it all
Talk to you again soon.
@generousPineapple6613 Thank you for responding and sorry I took so long to respond. I've been busy with schooling and volunteering, I hardly have time to myself and when I do, I get dysphoric for some reason and I just don't feel like doing anything. I've been feeling more and more dysphoric recently and that just prevents me from doing anything.
Anyways, I'm glad you're considering taking that step to get a therapist. I understand the fears, but sometimes just talking it out with someone helps. Even if the person doesn't agree with you, sometimes it helps you see things in a new or different light. And if the therapist is rude, offensive, or just mean in general, you can always look for a different therapist.
I'm glad we're still talking and I have to say thank you for always being there to listen to my rants haha I always enjoy our chats even if they aren't always lighthearted. But that's just life. It's not always bright and cheery.
I've just been feeling down and dysphoric lately, and yeah, I cry a lot too. No shame. I really think our society should be more open to expressing sad and depressing emotions in media. And not just when someone dies. I get sad and depressed for no reason sometimes. I wish it didn't happen, but you learn to work through it. I've just been in a bad spot for a while now. I hope you are doing better now.
In the end, I just want to say that I appreciate you and thank you for just responding. Seeing that you responded to my post honestly makes my day. I hope to hear from you again soon.
@shyChestnut9000
Don't worry about it, study and volunteering are important., so reply when you can.
I've also had moments when I just feel dysphoric/emotional for no reason. Or thoughts of wanting my own breasts just pop into my mind when I'm not doing anything gender related, such as work or cooking. Sometimes I can laugh it off with "it's back again..."
I do enjoy talking here. It's nice to be able to chat with someone who's going through similar things. And like you said, life isn't always bright and cheery. But that's when chocolate is needed. ^^
I don't know if society will ever fully accept people like us. Hopefully one day all the stigma will vanish and people will be more open minded to others.
Remember you can vent here as much as needed. Especially if you're on a bad spot at the moment.
Talk to you again soon
@generousPineapple6613 Thank you for replying. It always makes my day to see that you are still here and willing to chat with me. And yeah, it's always nice to talk to someone who knows what the word "dysphoria" means haha someone who gets it and understands that people can have that feeling. I've been feeling really dysphoric lately and I tried talking to one of my friends about it and she just didn't understand the concept. I tried to explain to her but she just changed the subject. It was frustrating but I still consider her a friend.
I'm still too afraid to tell my other friends the truth about my gender, but I like hanging out with them because they usually don't use she/her pronouns for me. They call me "dude" instead and I think I like that because I'm trans male but not out to them, and it makes me feel like I fit in more. I look forward to seeing my friends again and just hanging out with them, not having to worry about jobs or school. It would be nice. Do you have friends that you just like to chill with? Friends that make you comfortable and you can talk about almost everything with them? I think I have friends like that but I only get to see them once in a great while because our schedules never line up.
On a completely different note, I've been trying to work up my arm muscles because I wanted to get back into archery again. I used to do it in high school but had to stop because it got expensive and I didn't have to time to practice. Right now I'm just doing arm and back exercises, no lifting weights or anything like that yet, but I still have my bow and I want to be able to pull it back. So now I have something that gets my blood pumping and a goal to work towards. Do you have something like that? Something that gets you excited? Or maybe just a goal that you're working towards? You don't have to share if you don't want to.
Once again, thank you for responding. I look forward to reading your reply.
@shyChestnut9000.
Sorry to hear your dysphoria is playing up recently. I've been up and down with it. It keeps making me want to cry for no reason. Have you had that happen to you?
If you need to vent about it, use this thread here as much we needed.
I can understand the disappointment when you tried to talk about dysphoria to your friend. I had a similar incident. I decided to tell a penpal, sadly when she finally did respond she didn't say much and has never mentioned it again. We still talk but I still feel a little disappointed.
Yeah it's a good feeling when you get called in a more gender-affirming way. The few times some random person refers to me as "miss" always makes me feel better afterwards.
I do have a good friend I talk to most days, though she has no idea I'm a girl inside. But it's always fun chatting with her.
I'm not a sporty person due to health issues, though I do like watching basketball and volleyball. I find languages to be interesting and that has many times grabbed my interest when I hear something and want to know what it means.
Hope to hear from you again soon.
@generousPineapple6613 Thank you for responding. I've been so busy lately that I haven't even had to time to come to this site at all. I'm so glad you're still here and kicking haha
I understand those times when you just feel like crying for no reason. I just randomly feel depressed or emotional, no connection to anything that's happening around me. Since I live with my family, I just go to my room in those moments and let it out. Or if it happens when I'm not home, I just sit there and stare into space, wondering why I feel this way. It's an odd feeling but it's nice to know I'm not the only one.
I'm sorry to hear that your penpal isn't too supportive. I know not everyone can be supportive of our identities all the time, but still, they could at least say they accept you. My parents are still ignoring my identity and won't let me do get a haircut or a chest binder. I tried buying a chest binder recently but when it came in the mail, my mom saw and threw the package away. I was so mad but I couldn't yell at her. I just cried in my room and one of my younger sisters comforted me for a while. At least one sibling understands me.
I believe languages are very interesting, and I've always been fascinated by sign language. I would like to learn some sign language, but I really don't have the time. I understand that not everyone is into sports. My family is all into American football but I don't really care to watch it. It's just not as exciting or interesting to me as it is to the rest of my family.
Anyways, thank you for responding. I hope to hear from you soon.
@shyChestnut9000
Yep, i often have to wonder why I feel this way. Especially when it seems to come out of nowhere... I think the subconscious mind is constantly panicking so we dont have to consciously freak out even more than we do.
Im sorry to hear your mom threw the chest binder away. Maybe you could have a different one be sent to a friends home and you could pick it up from there?
I dont know much about American football. So I'm in the sam boat as you.
On a more positive note, i was able to buy a new game direct from japan. I've been playing it for about a week now, and ive been able to understand a small amount of the text. I use Google translate for the rest. Thats my one positive thing recently.
If you need to vent about things, use this topic as much as you need.
Talk to you again soon.