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Family complaining about "the gender thing"

User Profile: agreeableSkies9889
agreeableSkies9889 March 26th

I can't handle it anymore more. Idk what to do. I love my family but I feel so depressed and like they all would hate me.

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User Profile: Amanda84
Amanda84 March 27th

@agreeableSkies9889

🥺

I'm sorry you feel that way 🩷

I hope in time, you'll be able to feel comfortable in your own skin and being accepted and supported 🩵

i-love-you-love-you.gif

4 replies
User Profile: agreeableSkies9889
agreeableSkies9889 OP March 27th

Thank you! I feel so lonely right now. All I ever wanted is for people to see how I feel on the inside and love and accept me. It hurts feeling like a sin to just exist.

3 replies
User Profile: Amanda84
Amanda84 March 27th

@agreeableSkies9889

It's not a sin for you to exist, and in time the right people will see you for you and accept you 🩵

2 replies
User Profile: agreeableSkies9889
agreeableSkies9889 OP March 27th

I hope. Rn it feels like I'll never have a friend or some who doesn't see me as a problem. I've been told my whole life that everything I feel is sinful. Thank you for being so nice.

1 reply
User Profile: Amanda84
Amanda84 March 27th

@agreeableSkies9889

A pleasure 🩵🤗

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User Profile: Aayla
Aayla March 27th
@agreeableSkies9889 I'm sorry you're going through this. Family should be a place of love and acceptance and you shouldn't have to be scared to be yourself openly. Remember that, even if it seems impossible right now, a chance to be yourself openly and freely in the future is there. Don't give up on it.

I hope you can find spaces and times to be yourself, to experiment with your identity, to express it with supportive people, maybe trusted friends or people of the LGBT community that you can reach out to. Once you feel more confident with yourself, especially if you have supportive people by your side, it might be easier to face the tougher coming out. You know you won't be alone.

If you're not 100% sure if how your family would react, you can try bringing up the topic, maybe by mentioning people in your life or famous people that have come out as queer recently, so you can check how they react. Also, you don't have to come out if you don't feel ready yet. Don't rush things, find your own balance between safety and freedom.
Most importantly, hold on and don't let anything or anyone make you believe you are not worthy of freedom, happiness or love. You are perfect exactly as you are.
4 replies
User Profile: agreeableSkies9889
agreeableSkies9889 OP March 27th

Thank you for the advice... I'm trying to pace myself it's just frustrating. I feel like society hates me

3 replies
User Profile: Aayla
Aayla March 28th
@agreeableSkies9889 It can feel so lonely, I know. Even if I tell you things can and will get better, I know it's hard to believe right now. If there are any LGBTQ associations or meetup places near you, I really think reaching out to them might help you feel less lonely. But even outside specifically queer contexts, I know you can find "your people" one day. There's a place for you, a place where you belong. You won't be an outsider forever. But you have every right to feel down right now, you're not weak, you're just going through something extremely tough and reacting in a very legitimate way.
2 replies
User Profile: agreeableSkies9889
agreeableSkies9889 OP March 28th

It makes it worse that my family is so homophobic and conservative. They watch Matt Walsh and Ben Shapiro and complain all the time about gay and trans people. I just wish they would love the real me like. My first step is going to be talking to a counselor in a few days. I don't know if it'll fix anything but at least telling someone how I feel will help I hope. I'm just afraid I'll turn out like my parents or never live the way I want and die miserably. I've been neglecting my physical health and mental for a long time and really beating myself up about having these thoughts.

1 reply
User Profile: Aayla
Aayla March 28th

@agreeableSkies9889 sounds like your family is not in the right place to understand and embrace your identity right now, and while I hope with my whole heart that things will change eventually, it's ok for you to put your mental peace first and not share the truth with them until it feels safe enough.

I don't think you will turn up miserable and hidden for your whole life: your will to be free and express yourself is too strong, you're doing all you can to hold on and take care of yourself after neglecting your needs for so long, you're making some very brave steps, like that counsellor meeting. Figuring out your own path to happiness can be tough, but you're holding on and doing what you can to figure things out, forge your path and find your peace. As long as you stay on this path, there can be ups and downs, there can moments when you'll feel stuck, but you'll still be on your way to find your place in the world.

Best of luck on your journey<3

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