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In fear of Father

User Profile: ELIJAHHHH
ELIJAHHHH February 10th

So I'm 16, and bisexual. I came to the realization that I'm bi last year around July. I live in a very redneck/hick town so it makes sense that most people living here are homophobic as ***. Well that includes my father. My Dad has always been a heavy drinker, extreme racist, and extreme homophobe. He thinks straight out of the bible in the way that homosexuals are an "abomination." He's said before that if one of his kids turns out to be gay he thinks he would have failed as a father. I'm scared of the day he finds out about me being bi. I am scared my brother will find out and tell my Dad because my brother already hates me and I wouldn't put it past him to tell my Dad. I've told a few of my friends about my sexuality, but only people I know 110% can keep a secret. I eventually want to tell all my friends but some of them are in the same circles as my brother and if I tell them then there's no telling what they do with the information. I know this isn't happening anytime soon so it's not like the biggest worry in the world but I am scared. I already have a poor relationship with my father and if he finds out about this he's probably gonna think of me less as his son and more like a burden or mistake.

2
User Profile: Aayla
Aayla February 10th
@ELIJAHHHH your reaction is totally normal, it's ok to worry! You're not "making" a big deal - it is a big deal. Living with a family with those beliefs is hard and if they were to find out it would take a huge toll on your well-being. Protecting your peace and safety is the most important goal. For now, it's ok to only tell a few trusted people: I know it would feel good to be open to all people in your life, but if you're not in a place to do so safely, you don't "owe" a coming out to anyone. 

Rely on your trusted friends, build a supportive community around you so you don't have to feel lonely, and once you'll be old enough, focus on making a solid and independent life for you own. That way, even if your father eventually finds out, you won't have to depend on him for everything and you'll be free to live your life at your own terms.

I know it's hard, but it's not your fault if the world is so hateful. You're great as you are! I wish you all the best on your journey.
User Profile: scorpionpolktanktree
scorpionpolktanktree February 18th

@ELIJAHHHH

look its important to come out

but also important to stay safe

so go at it slowly vetting and making sure they wont leak the info to anyone before telling them

your safety is as important as your right to be yourself