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Overcoming Hopelessness

User Profile: TurtleGirl96
TurtleGirl96 January 19th

It's getting hard lately to not be fearful and feel hopeless toward the future that our country (the United States) seems to be headed. I have seen a few people that were formerly more neutral or supportive of Trump and MAGA finally see it for what is now, which is a bit encouraging. However, unfortunately there are so many more that are still defending and cheering on. Demonizing immigrants, legal or not, trans people, and people of other faiths and races in general...It's so disheartening.

The worst of it right now, for me, is that I don't even feel safe, emotionally/socially, to discuss it at home currently. My FIL watches Fox News every day, and has some views that are not great. I generally just stay quiet when his family discusses political things. But more disappointing is that even my husband seems to lean a bit toward the MAGA end, and it scares me. Some comments that he has made online or things he has said, while not full on bigoted, they are still concerning. I didn't think he was someone that would support Trump and what his administration are doing and plan to do or that he would lean at all toward their hateful rhetoric and lies. I'm scared sometimes because it feels like I married someone different than who I thought. I love him so much and I believe that he loves me. Anymore, I just try to avoid any topics of conversation that are political because I don't want to argue or hear more from him that I can't unhear. 𥺠It's so hurtful because I thought that I really knew him before we got married. I came out to him as bisexual and everything. That was really hard for me, but he was pretty supportive and not negative about that.

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User Profile: Aayla
Aayla January 19th
@TurtleGirl96 I understand completely: although I'm not American, I'm also very concerned about what's going on there and it's disheartening to see so many people failing at basic empathy and turning against the most vulnerable ones.
All we can do is do our part, and try to stand up against oppression in any way we can. 

As for your emotional wellbeing, it's very important to have a support network of people with similar values and morals, to give each other strength but also just to vent and carry burdens together. If you don't have that in your family, sometimes our "chosen family", the people we decide to surround ourselves with, are the ones that make a difference.

The situation with your husband is quite delicate. If he hasn't always been like this and you used to have similar views in the past, there's a chance you can try and talk to him, figure out what changed, and address whatever may be behind this. Sometimes people turn to intolerant ideologies as a reaction to being in a very dire situation, in which society undoubtedly is, and blaming the most vulnerable is an easy way to feel less powerless.
I personally would not be able to maintain trust - and therefore a relationship - with someone that has a worldview completely opposite to mine, with everything it entails in terms of morals. But this is your, not me, and you're the only one who can figure out what this means for you and your relationship, and how to deal with it.
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