Trans ftm rant ig
This is going to be a very long rant ***
I honestly hate labels. I don’t even like calling myself trans. I don’t feel trans. Idk if that makes any sense. I just feel like myself. I like girls and boys and nonbinary people but I don’t call myself pansexual or anything. I don’t even like calling myself queer. I’m just a human being who likes other human beings. It really bothers me. Labels. I don’t know why. They help other people, so why do they make me want to rip my skin off (figuratively). I hate the concept of coming out. It’s stupid imo. Why is this minescule part of my life such a big *** deal to everyone else? It’s actually none of your *** business. But it’s harder to be angry when it’s about being ‘trans’ because it affects everyday life. Every time someone would address me it’s relevant. I wish it wasn’t. I wish it was background noise. I want being queer to be boring. I want it to be irrelevant background noise. I want it to be the least interesting thing about me. I wish being queer was so normal nobody gave a fat ***.
I feel so stagnant. I’m 16. I can’t do ***. I cannot make my own choices in regards to my health/hormones. I’m lucky that I think my mother would be okay with me ‘being trans’ but not transitioning medically. My brain isn’t fully developed so I can’t make those decisions for myself. But that means I’m stuck. I can’t do anything and I can’t do anything about it.
I end up sleeping. I sleep so much. Because in my dreams I have the body of a boy. In my dreams it doesn’t hurt so bad. In my dreams I’m not stuck. I sleep too much.
Does anyone else understand the pain of this? Probably. I just feel like someone is prying open my ribcage and tearing me apart and at the same I’m being squeezed down so compact. It’s weird. I have a real hatred for being trans. Not because being trans is bad. But because it feels bad.
Not every day is like today. But some days are bad, and all I can think about is how much I need out of my own skin. Most days I just try not to think about it.
@littleCat4798
😔
You are right.
It's not anyone's business to pry.
To question.
To comment.
It's your experience.
Your feelings.
You know what's right for you.
And I'm sorry this is so overwhelming.
Frightening.
But I hope in time, you'll be able to absolutely cherish the person you are , inside and out 💛
Ahh, thank you :)
*** it just bothers me that society is the way it is. Maybe someday it’ll get better.
@littleCat4798
Sadly there'll always be bigots, but also there are wonderful people, accepting, non judgemental and kind, and I hope you will be happy 💛
</3 sadly you’re right about that, but also yeah! There are a lot of great people too, thank you :)
@littleCat4798
A pleasure 💜
@littleCat4798 I too don’t like using labels it feels constricting and sickening to me. I just want to be myself, so I agree with when you said that it isn’t necessary to make it a big deal out of it.
@littleCat4798
i relate wanna be friends?
sure :)
@littleCat4798
hey man what’s up?
Not a whole lot. I haven’t done much today. Hbu :)
@littleCat4798
went to Dairy Queen and watched tv
I really specifically like their toast they put in the chicken baskets ngl
@GoodTrouble19
Y'all can I be friends with you guys too? This is probably the most relatable thing I've seen/heard all day tbh.
@HereToSupportYouuuuuuu912
sure
@littleCat4798
Oh my gosh you just explained what I've been feeling recently. I've been so confused why it felt so weird to recognize that I want to be a boy, but that explains all of it dude 😭
@littleCat4798
I know what you mean. This is honestly so relatable. I don't like using a bunch of labels either. I hope you feel better soon <3
