I’m trans, but no one accepts it
I’m trans FtM, and no one in my family accepts it.
I came out to my mum once and she turned around and said “I’ve got two sons, I don’t need another one.”
But since then, I’ve noticed stuff. Because she joined ***, she shows me trans men, she doesn’t seem to mind them. She likes them. She follows them and talks to me about them.
But as soon as I say, anything to do with me being trans (i.e “I want to cut my female parts off” “my life would be much better if I had this(male part, I think you get what I mean)). She laughs, acts like it’s a joke, treats me like crap.
So why can she accept them, and those people, but not her own child?
I’ve lived 25 nearly 26 years as a female, for her. I’ve suffered being this person, for her. Just so she can rub it in my face that she likes these other trans men and follows them.
I can’t even do anything about it, because I am disabled and live at home because of said disabilities. I just want to be who I am.
Tonight, I put a post up online where I know she follows me and it was a picture saying “I am trans, get over it.” But now she’s passed out drunk, so she probably won’t even see it.
im just done. I’m sick of pretending to be something I’m not.
I just want to be me. I don’t understand how she can like those people, but not her own child.
I understand that I’m her child, her first “daughter” but I can’t help being me. I can’t help being born in the wrong body. It’s made me suffer for years, I’ve self-harmed, I’ve attempted. How can she not see what this is doing to me? Like I said, I get I’m her child and she doesn’t want another boy, but I’m 10x better than her other two sons. They don’t even want to know her, surely one son that wants to know you, is better than none at all.
Someone help me? I don’t know what to do?
Do I just carry on putting stuff up on ***, so she sees I’m not hiding away from this, until she says something, or what else do I do? I really need some help!!
@sp00kyske11y
You are an adult be yourself ....... you do not need her approval or acceptance ...
posting where she will see it is not helpful IMO ... does not sound like she is dealing with much in life is passed out drunk and your brothers not wanting to know her........
Parents have a thought in their head of how life will be when kids grow up.......... most of the time that vision is not correct ....................but letting that go .............takes time and inner reflection on her part ..............not you keep throwing your truth in her face expecting her to just be great with it....
Let her come to terms with this at her pace and if she lives in denial that is not your job to fix.
I’m so sorry to hear all of this. I’m also trans FTM and have gone through gender dysphoria, suicidal ideation and self-harmed for a long time so I understand. I may not fully understand how it feels to how your mom treats you.
If I were you I would start socially transitioning (at least to friends and other people who aren’t in your family if you aren’t comfortable within your family). You could start the process to medically transition if you think that would improve your mental health, as I’m sure it would. I know your mom is really not being supportive or accepting right now but what is best for you is to live as yourself and make decisions that are right for you. I don’t know your mom but I hope that with time and seeing you happier as yourself that she will accept you being trans.
I think it is really important to make sure your mom knows that what is provoking your self-harm and attempts is that she is not supporting you and you are having a difficult time transitioning because of this. Parents don’t want to cause their children pain but she seems to be in a lot of denial.
I wish you luck with your journey. Please contact me if you need to vent or want to update me, I really want to help. Let me know if you need any advice on where to start your transition or the steps to take to start HRT and get top surgery. Please don’t loose hope, one day you will feel better in your body and self I know it. ❤️
