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What do I do, I'm scared for the future and I don't wanna keep on hiding it. Even though I have to.

User Profile: aquaCake8698
aquaCake8698 June 20th

Hello. I'm not really sure what I'm doing here on this site. I'm just kind of scared for everything. My parents don't support LGBTQ+ at all.  My mother just yesterday told me that she supported a friend who discomunicated with her child because she came out as lesbian. My mother often tells me stuff like this and it's starting to really agitate me ngl. She just recently took me aside to ask kindly if I was gay. She wanted to know this so that if I was she could "fix" me (that's when she told me the story of her friend and continued to say that if I were gay it would be the most devastating thing to her). I am a closeted omnisexual and trans/agender (just queer in general, teen) and im constantly on edge because, what if she finds out? I really hate living like this.  She keeps on peer pressuring me to talk badly about others because of their looks (she does the same to my siblings but they go along with it and don't think much of it), and she constantly judges me. She claims she's a Christian but I know Christians shouldn't act like this. She the reason that some people give Christianity a bad name. I don't know what to do. Am I overreacting? She hasn't hit me yet.

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User Profile: Amanda84
Amanda84 June 20th

@aquaCake8698

You are not over reacting at all.

I'm sorry that you have to hide who you are.

And you don't feel supported and accepted 💙

i-love-you-love-you.gif

User Profile: Aayla
Aayla June 21st
@aquaCake8698 your reaction is normal, it's her reaction that definitely shouldn't be normal: she's traumatizing her child by making you feel like you can't express who you are safely. She's supposed to support you and love you no matter what, and if she doesn't do this, than she's failing you as a parent. It's not your fault. Don't let her or anyone get to your head and make you feel like it's bad for you to be who you are.

It's ok to keep thing secret in order to protect your safety and mental peace, you don't owe her the truth if she can't even grant you safety. I know it's hard, frustrating and scary, but one day, when you'll be more independent, you'll be able to live your life fully and express who you are. You won't have to fear her anymore. I hope she'll eventually change her mind, but even if she doesn't, I grant you the world is full of people that will see and accept you as you are. You just have to hold on until you find them.