transphobic household--i need advise
hi, I'm Nathan (my user was made before i knew i was trans so please ignore that) i live in a very transphobic household, and as a trans male its hard for me to get through the day without getting comments like 'how come i never see you in that dress i bought you' or 'oh theres my little girl'. I'm definitely not out yet to my family, but I have some teachers at school who are kind enough not to misgender me. I don't have many resources to binders or other things that help me present more masculine, so I'm stuck trying to use my posture to seem flat-chested. Anyway, what I am trying to say is that if you have any advice, I'd love to hear it, or just want to relate, that's cool too.
@Elizab3th777
if you're okay with stirring the pot, you can misgender the person back too!
the thing with transphobic environments... even if you present in the way that's affirming I don't know if they'll correctly address you :(
but if you are looking for binders, you can check out your local lgbtq center, point of pride, or tomscout.
oh also, you can change your username! im sure admin will help out. i was able to get a forum before i came out taken down because of it too.
@Elizab3th777 I'm sorry for all the hardships you're going through. Please, don't let anything or anyone bring you down. I know it can be discouraging and frustrating to be unable to express yourself freely, but hold on to your truth, no one has the right to tell you who you are or who you should be, only you have a say I that.
It can be comforting to find a space to express yourself, even just a small one. If you have the chance to come out to people you trust, people who can provide you the support that you deserve, you will feel less alone and find some comfort. You don't have to come out to your family if you're not ready or it's not safe, but being able to be yourself with someone is important.
Also, if you have the chance to connect with other queer people, either through LGBT associations and circles near you or online, you can exchange experiences and find strength in community. If online is fine for you, Trevor Space provides a great community for young queer people.
As for your family, even if you don't come out, you can still make it clear to them that "stereotypical" femininity (dresses and such) is not for you. Even without revealing your gender, you don't have to adhere to feminine stereotypes if you don't want to. You can wear more masculine clothes, change your style in a way that feels good to you, wear more baggy clothes (it can also be of help with your chest), refuse make-up, cut your hair... Anything that will make you feel more like yourself. You deserve it!
