Only now feeling comfortable later in life lesbian
Hello gorgeous people!
this is my first post and would jut like some feedback, tips, advice and encouraging words.
i am 31 and now realise that I like women, I mean looking back I think I've always known. Looking at my best friends rear in school, crushing on my college tutor, fantasies about women. Anyways, growing up I have dated a few men and had a 2 year relationship with the last guy I was with but every time I felt like there was something missing, and I know I only stayed because I felt I had too, 'women should be with men' 'only straight is normal'. Every guy I meet or have met I feel just want me for my body, in now way bigging myself up but I'm pretty and everyone says why am I single? I should have a boyfriend , but that's the thing I don't have a great perception of men maybe because of the way I've been treating but also I jut know I'm not physically attracted to interested in them. Anyway off topic lol..I haven't told anyone I like women although my family make remarks and even a few work colleagues. Im not butch but a little bit of a tomboy and I guess as I've never had a serious 'boyfriend' everyone assumes. Thing is I haven't been with a woman although I would love too, I had a big crush on my lesbian friend but even if she had an incline before she never made out anything. Now I really like this woman, she works near me in a cafe it's weird we've talked a bit when I've gone in there and made lots of eye contact and I get that vibe, but then I know she had a boyfriend back a year ago, don't know her situation now.. but what do you all think? Any sound advise from later in life lesbians? Really want to feel what it's like to be woman, just wanna know there's hope! thank you x
Hi, I'm still in my 20ies but I just wanted to tell you that it's completely normal to only come to terms with your sexuality later on in life, it's actually quite common and comprehensible given the pressures of the society we live in! It's great that you've been able to accept and embrace your orientation, it's a great achievement and it can help you feeling really at peace with yourself. You haven't told anyone yet and that's ok, you don't have, coming out is a personal choice that should only be made if and when you feel comfortable with it, with the people you choose. Your priority should always be your happiness, so just do whatever you think would make you happier: coming out, not doing so...
And the same goes for this woman you like. Trying to see if you have a chance with her may feel like taking a risk, but it's up to you decide whether it's your comfort zone that would make you happier or this risky but potentially rewarding thing attempt to build something with her. Of course, you can take your own times, and do it your own way. You may want to learn more about her attitudes towards LGBT first, it could give you a hint on whether or not it's safe to try. She may be bisexual, or a closeted lesbian like you. One thing's for sure: if she makes you feel good, get closer to her, so you can know each other better, and you'll give her a chance to develop her feelings too as you get closer. If you decide to give it a try, this may help you finding the right occasion to start opening up. Whatever you decide to do, good luck! And remember, there's always a chance of happiness, at any time in life!
@Aayla wow thank you so much for your kind words, this really helps. I'm quite a shy person so trying to spark that conversation with her gives me anxiety lol, I wouldn't even know what to say!
