Seperated and headed toward divorcd
Currently seperated since August. Wife called and said she wanted a divorce in September. I tried to make things work and things seemed to be going better and hung out a lot in December. She said she “liked dating me” and missed me. Then once january came, she reiterated nothing had changed and she doesn’t want to be with me. On Saturday she said she was better off without me jn her life and basically had stayed with me because she loves my daughter. It crushed me. 6 years and now going to get a divorce. Admittingly I wasn’t perfect throughout the relationship and could’ve done things better like intamacy and less focus on work, but I am having a really rough time accepting things and just moving on. Any advice is appreciated. :-(.
@cjohnston1499
Such painful times! So sorry you are facing it now.
Keep your head up! Please :)
@cjohnston1499
It is hard when you are at the end ..... people try a sort of dating thing and yes you both probably have fun but that does not change the deep down issues ...... i know i am going through it too .... he is more attentive and wants to do things etc but as soon as he feels on solid ground it will revert back to why i wanted to leave..... or maybe the feelings just are not there anymore that does not come back sometimes ....
did she tell you why what she wants out of relationship etc..... we like to be sweet and nice but to rebuild from the ground hard truth helps whether you rebuild or call it totaled and move on.
Very hard, and sorry to hear you are going through the same. She wanted to leave bc she didn’t feel I supported her dreams. I have a house and she has an internship about an hour away and I didn’t look to move quick enough. Also intamacy was a problem too. I think our attraction is still there but she feels a lot of resentment toward me. It wasn’t easy to move though. I have a child and to up and leave to a new place just isn’t a quick task. Either way it hurts but hanging out in December gave me hope and now it’s like square one - accepting and trying to move on. Certainly a lot of work to do on myself. Just hope it gets easier. Good luck to you too!!!
@cjohnston1499
I think that is my issue as well i have TOO much underlying resentment and i worry when we get along as i try to give him a chance he is getting the wrong idea as we have not fixed anything just setting it aside and being pleasant.
It should be clear that moving with a child moving schools and if they need to be close so other parent has visits etc is NOT a quick thing at ALL.... and does she expect after her internship she will wok in that area or expect a move again?
@cjohnston1499
I'm sorry to hear about the difficulty you are going through. It can be very hard to accept the end of a long-term relationship and move on. One thing you can try is to focus on taking care of yourself. This might mean exercising, spending time with friends, pursuing hobbies or interests, or seeking professional counseling or therapy. It's also important to give yourself time and space to grieve the loss of the relationship. It's okay to feel sad and to process your feelings. Remember, healing takes time and everyone's journey is different. It's also important to remember that it's not healthy to blame yourself for the end of the relationship and to try not to dwell on regrets or what-ifs. Instead, try to focus on the future and the possibilities that lie ahead.
Thanks so much for the advice. I really appreciate it. I am definitely trying to establish healthy habits to not fall into depression. It’s nice to have a space to vent.
