how to find a gf in a homophobic country?
as a lesbian, finding a partner when i'm living in a homophobic country is not only difficult but also terrifying.
i'm afraid that, if, for example, i confess my feelings to the wrong person, i'd get out-ed, which will be very dangerous for me and my future ( i might get kicked out from home, expelled from school, and probably lose my job).
i know that dating apps exist, but i'm not confident in using it since i'm very bad at getting to know new people (esp. online). besides, i'm afraid that it will again jeopardize my safety (getting catfished, IRL people and family finding me on the app, and meeting someone online naturally poses its own risks).
in indonesia, aka the country i live in right now - i think most, if not all LGBT-only dating apps are banned, although using VPN is indeed one way to bypass it.
i'm actually moving out to japan next year, which i know is a much more open-minded country than indonesia, but the environment for LGBT people is still not that adequate there, from what i heard and read. so, my concern is still present.
can anyone give me advice? ><
@Hydrangea03
Hi!
At least from what I heard Japan is relatively queer-friendly, so maybe you don't need to worry about getting outed once you're there. It may still be difficult to access the local queer scene - if there is one - of whatever city you move to, so online dating may still be your best bet (I have no idea how Japanes apps are though). For that, standard safety tips apply: have the first meetings in public places, google the other person, etc.
I'm gay and visited Tokyo for about three weeks a couple of years ago with my husband. It wasn't a problem at all. But sexuality is much more private than where I'm from (Netherlands). There were gay bars though.
Having to be private is still so much better than living in fear. I hope you'll be able to go soon.
@Hydrangea03 would you be able to join an online dating cite and meet someone that way?
I guess so yeah, especially when Im already sure I cant find a relationship offline @Willow99e
