Gender identity
Hi everyone!
I decided to write out my identity searching thoughts. After i discovered some very cool trans people in *** (5-6 months ago), i’ve been starting to think that i’m not cis. I’m pretty sure i’m atleast partially nonbinary, if not partially trans. But i’m very confused of myself. Am i just faking cause i found those trans people cool? Yes, after that i discovered also that i’d like my chest flat much better, i feel like all clothes and outfits would fit better and look the ame way i feel like. When i view my side profile i feel like this isn’t me. A the same time i think my body is beautiful, as in femimine way, but i feel like maybe it doesn’t match with what i feel like. Yes. I can be whatever even with that body… i shouldn’t let it affect me on that. But being born a girl unintentionally affects with what gender i see myself in. What i see in mirror and how i get treated, what feeling i get from outside towards me.
I like when people in online think i’m boy. I don’t like very feminine clothes what bring out my features. I don’t like how women are treated differently, at least i feel the difference. I don’t like how i’m treated as “woman”. I’m sure in womanhood there’s parts i like. I like being part of the womanhood as between my friends. But i’m not sure if i like when my parents call me woman. I feel like a child, not a woman.
I’ve thought abt pronouns a lot. I feel like i should use they/he, but somhow still be little girl too in that. Honestly idk what i’m talking abt. I’m trying to make sense but i don’t know if it does.
it’s very long message, respect and thank if you read it through.
@Tsuk
I understand. It can be confusing when something doesn't feel right, but you are not exactly sure what.
The great thing is that you can take your time. You have the whole of the rest of your life to figure this out. Remember, it's all about yhe journey, not the destination.
I suggest talking to a professional. Or even several. There's lots of possibilities, some you may not have yet considered, so it might be good to go thru things with someone who knows all the options. The more people you talk to, the better chance you have of finding out what is right for you.
@Clio9876
that’s right. Thank u and sorry i didn’t say ur reply till now. Do you know can i talk to someone here in cups who might know more abt this? Cause if i was to talk with someone irl i had to talk all this to my parents, i don’t even know what they think or know any of queer stuff.
@Tsuk
If you can, I would start with a doctor. There are medical conditions that can affect these things and it would be wise to get those checked out. And a good doctor will refer you to someone with the right experience.
Ive found therapy fabulous for helping find answers to questions about ourselves. You can do Therapy thru 7 cups, if you wish. It should be quite easy to find the link to that, but if you can't find it, let me know. The problem often with therapy is the cost. But if you find a good one, I've always found it a worthwhile investment.
And you are welcome to talk about it here. I just can't give advice, because I'm not at all qualified. But I'll happily listen. Sometimes when we put figurative pen to paper it helps clarify our thoughts and leads us to an answer.
To me it sounds like you are not sure what's right for you. And I believe that's very normal. There is no right way to do gender identity. Just the same with any identity. It takes us time to find out who we really are. Maybe you can try some small things and see how it feels? Try a different pronoun. If it feels right, OK, if not, well, don't use that one. Personally, I don't care which pronoun someone uses for me (as long as they aren't intending to be mean, of course), while to others it is really important. There's no one right way. Same with clothing. It's OK to feel feminine in one context, want to dress masculine in another and not care in others. Or to want to dress the same all the time. I heard of a person who bought 50 sets of the same item of clothing and wore the same thing every day. They found it very freeing. I would find it very dull. Neither is right or wrong.
The big trick is to try to believe in yourself. To believe that you know what is right for you. And to try not to worry what other people think. Easier said than done, of course, because too many people wish to force their opinion on us. What I work on is remembering that this is their problem. If they want to waste their energy trying to achieve the impossible of putting people in identical pigeon holes, then they are welcome to the task, I've got better things to do.
Good luck finding your way.
