Daily Mindfulness Check-In July 6, 2020
Hello everyone in the mindfulness community. Hope you all had a good weekend 
Today I like to share with you this exercise about changing behaviour 
I guess most of of know how hard it can be to change something we do for a longer time. We might know, it's not good for us but it's tough to do the change and sometimes we even are not really aware of the reason what makes the much wanted change so hard.
One way we can try is to take a piece of paper and make two lists: What supports making a decision to change a behaviour, and what hinders it? This practice can help us realise that motivation comes from a deeper level of the heart and is made up of several causes that need conditions in the present to support them and create durability.
What helps you to change a behaviour you know is not supporting you?
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@amiablePeace77 What helps you to change a behaviour you know is not supporting you?
For me, it takes persistence and attention looking to see when that behavior pops up so I have time to adjust my reactions.
@soulsings
It's a helpful strategy to find out patterns, looking at what is behind a behaviour, the root cause which might have to be addressed to.
I find I figure out that a behaviour isn't working for me. I reason within myself. But then when it comes to a situation I find I've used that behaviour again and I'm so disappointed in myself. I'm the same with most mindfulness skills, DBT skills. It's like I self sabotage. I go with the known even though it's bad for me. Rather than the unknown even though in theory I know it will be better for me
@Alwaysinpyjamas sorry to hear but that is human nature to stay in a routine rather than break out into the unknown.
@amiablePeace77
Thank you for this exercise!
What helps you to change a behaviour you know is not supporting you?
Lately what helped me with trying to change some of my behaviour was to understand that these behaviours really didn't have to "define me". In other words, stop being afraid that without those behaviours I wouldn't recognize myself and wouldn't know what to do in life. I'm learning to take things day by day and to understand that if I'm undergoing a change, it's normal to go through all different moments and sometimes to feel a little surprised or a little "lost" in my new feelings and situation. I noticed I've always been very attached to some of my behaviours because I felt they were a part of me, they were making me "me", and even if they weren't so healthy I felt affection for these behaviours because they reminded me of myself and my own life and I wasn't willing to let them go. Afraid that without them I wouldn't feel as "well". But now I'm starting to understand that I mustn't be afraid of letting go of anything, and not to be afraid of a change, taking everything day by day, trying not to put too much pressure on myself, and trying to have faith that the change will sure be for the better. And I'm trying to put aside that feeling of "giving up" coming over whenever I thought of leaving behind some of my habits/usual thoughts and ideas. And understand that if I will get out of any of my wrong ideas or unhealthy behaviours, I'm not giving up anything, just gaining something!
This is a little bit of my late experience, hope you also can relate and find it interesting :)
Wishing you all the best!
@RinaP
Wow RinaP, you seem to have achieved great awareness and understanding of your situation. Thanks for sharing those interesting thoughts with us and yes, I can relate. It took me a while too to realize what my behaviours cause, where they come from. I love how you say taking each day step by step without too much pressure!
@amiablePeace77
Thanks! I'm glad if my sharing can be interesting for someone else! :) All the best
@RinaP
It surely is!
I try and find the root of what is causing this behavor and why it isn't working for me anymore. Then I change it. Sometimes it's a battle sometimes my body/mind are all for it so it's not much of a battle
@Goldcherry2113
Great that you go the bottom of it to find out what's actually happening!