Past Self

@JLWells I don't think any amount of shaking would make me any less of a weird, dysfunctional ***-up lol

@JLWells

i think the way you feel will make sense eventually. i know you're trying, even though right now it all feels confusing. i'm proud of you for that. i'm still not There yet. but i know i'm getting closer. 

That Mom and Dad will later apologize for saying that I was a target for bullies because I was too sensitive and that I just needed to toughen up.

That adults don’t always remember that kids aren’t very rational and logical all the time and that kids process things differently and see things differently.

That the stuff that doesn’t make any sense will never truly make sense the way anyone wants them to but at least there will be words for them and ways to make some sense out of stuff.

That everyone has a difficult life just in different ways; she was not alone.

That she was too young for that crap and that I need to give her grace whenever she could have handled it better if only she had an adult brain.

That Mom and Dad will, to some extent, understand that she has been repeating the same story again and again because that’s all she knew to do. Especially when there was a new incident of bullying.

That she is not crazy for being afraid of letting go of what happened and that it is not just holding a grudge. Forgetting is scary because what if it happens again and not know how to deal with it. (Please try to think of something else sometimes though because feeling on edge all the time and stuff is exhausting)

That she is handling it better than some people think they ever could.

That she doesn’t have to be tough

That she shouldn’t have to be so strong at that age

But that she needs to be strong

And that she is

@JLWells Don't forget how to do long division 😭😭

I’d tell myself to enjoy my youth, dont settle down too fast and listen to your gut, dont trust with your heart.

@JLWells

You hate living. You’re not suicidal but if you had the option to die you would.

@JLWells

You'll regret what you didn't do more than what you did do💔

what you are feeling isn’t normal

what you are feeling isn’t normal

@JLWells I would shake my old self so long she would get sea-sick 😂 for everything. I would probably just roll out a sheet of *** ups in dated order and read it from the relevant time point 😂