Anger Management
Ha is your ANGER like this at times? It can be at times right? But is that how you want to feel? Do you like when you don't have control of your thoughts or actions at that time?
"Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get stressed, offended or angry. But what your doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You have the power to choose not to let little things upset you."
Count to 10.....Pound a pillow......Go in your car and scream.
These are popular anger management techniques that you've probably heard over and over again, maybe even tried. But show no affect or change in the way you handle anger within yourself. The problem with mainstream anger management techniques is that the end goal is to control or contain your anger, rather than to heal or to resolve the problems your anger has tried to bring to your attention.If you try to manage your anger, all you'll do is temporarily stem the overflow of emotions until the next time your buttons get pressed.
"Emotional health requires that anger be processed and digested, or it'll keep recycling and resurfacing"
Anger is an emotional energy that resides in our body-mind until it runs its course. Your anger can teach you about yourself what's important to you, what your sensitivities are, where your boundaries lie. But you have to listen to it to learn anything. If you can catch the internal signal or clue that anger is on the way, you can switch to a mindset of curiosity and self-investigation about what your anger is trying to say.
"To learn from your anger and not just react to triggers with rage or passive aggressionyou don't need anger management; you need impulse controltechniques"
If you stop yourself before you discharge your or bury it, you give yourself the opportunity to choose how to respond to it. Impulse control techniques can turn an out-of-control life into one that is productive, fulfilling, and ripe with meaningful and loving relationships.
So how do you do it?
The first step toward exploring and learning from your anger is to discover what triggers it. You can use mindfulness actively and openly paying attention to your emotions, thoughts, and physical sensations without judgment to discover what causes you to dump or stuff anger.
The second step is to learn how to catch the impulse that precedes your anger. You may not be aware of it at the time, but there is always an impulse that comes before your angry outburst or passive-aggressiveness. Anger impulses are the bodily sensations and thoughts that come after the anger trigger. It may feel like anger and the anger impulse is one and the same, but they're not.
Now that you've used mindfulness to arm yourself with a new awareness of your anger triggers and impulses, you are ready for the last step: impulse control techniques. If you can catch and control your anger impulses, you can give yourself the mental space needed to respond rather than to simply react to whatever it is that has made you angry. The following impulse control techniques are tailored to your type of anger:
YOU CAN DO THIS!!
Discussion:
1. What are some of your triggers on dealing with your anger? Do you feel in control?
2. When you are angry is there any mindfulness skills you do to calm yourself?
3. Do you have any ideas or thoughs on Anger Management you like to share with us?
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Well, one of the main things that I use for my anger is that I dont want to ever say or do something that I wouldnt want people to do to me. Because there is nothing like being hurt by someone who is supposed to be loving you but instead they are the one who is hurting you the most.
My Golden Rule is do unto others what you would want done unto you
@Favor2020
Hi Favor good to see you here today
Wow I so like what you just shared. Also to be mindful of how we present ourselves even while angry is very important. Don't want to hurt another by our actions and words-I do agree. Thank you so much for sharing this
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Hello Rumple! This is a great post, thank you. I also love the use of spongebob GIFS :)
1) Hmm I'm not too sure about the triggers I have for anger! I guess there's a lot and when they happen they happen and can immediately spark anger - for example if people say hurtful things to me or someone else, or if there is an injustice, etc. Recently I've been experiencing a kind of internal anger, where I don't really let out my frustrations outside but inside my head I will be angry and I'll have hostile thoughts. But if I see a bad situation I'm not afraid to argue with someone! I do feel in control, but I've had it before when I've been so angry with someone/something that I'm not worried to speak out, but I am still in control as I'm aware of the consequences and what I am doing.
2) Mindfulness can be very helpful when you're angry! Often when you are angry you are also feeling stressed, maybe anxious or frustrated too. I find just doing some simple breathing exercises can be a helpful distraction, it can also help you think logically.
3) Anger management is a great thing to think about! We all experience emotion and anger is one of them. When we aren't angry, we don't really think about how to deal with anger, but it's useful to have mindfulness skills or a little method in your head of how to deal with situations. If I get into a silly argument, sometimes I find it works easier not to say anything at all! It is always important not to be mean and say things that we might not want to say. If we are angry we might make in the moment decisions that we could potentially regret, so it is always good to try and approach things logically and take your time.
These are some great questions! Thanks Rumple ❤️
@peppermintlove wow good to see you Peppermint miss yaI agree with you on finding what triggers you when it really can be anything. Oh wow hun having internal anger can be tough to control or at least maintain. Internal anger is hard. It is good that you are aware of the consequences if you let your anger take its path onto someone else. I do agree with you on mindfulness breathing helping you when dealing in the moment of anger. It really does help me. I do not snap back so quickly but I can feel the intensity inside me lower.
If you don't mind this part of what you shared I felt it was real helpful for others
Anger management is a great thing to think about! We all experience emotion and anger is one of them. When we aren't angry, we don't really think about how to deal with anger, but it's useful to have mindfulness skills or a little method in your head of how to deal with situations. If I get into a silly argument, sometimes I find it works easier not to say anything at all! It is always important not to be mean and say things that we might not want to say. If we are angry we might make in the moment decisions that we could potentially regret, so it is always good to try and approach things logically and take your time.
Can I suggest one thing I do when Im angry and I feel I can not get out of that high intensity? I take my fingers on whatever hand and start tapping my leg fast. Yes fast. I let the rythm match the intensity of my anger. Within a few minutes I notice the tapping slowing down as well as my anger. If you like try this and let me know how it went. hugs
Hi Rumple, your gif made me laugh
I find that my feelings of anger or frustration are often triggered by...
- Being around too many people for too long
- Being in an area that is very noisy or busy
- Stressing about finances
These particular situations are incredibly difficult for me and when I am faced with them, I initially feel like I am out of control.
If I'm not mindful of how I'm feeling, I start to place blame on others for causing my stress. But, if I feel stressed and take time to observe my emotions, I find that I truly want to understand why I am feeling stressed and then I take some time to breathe and ask reasonable questions about my situation. Why do I really feel angry/ frustrated in this moment? Why do I feel like I am out of control? What can I control right now- can I pass on a social event; can I walk away and take a break; how can I better manage my finances in the future?
For me, pausing before I react is the key to managing my emotions. It gives me a moment to hear my voice of reason.
@OneTraveler ello there good to see you hereHa I tried to find the right pic but with a humorous twist! Those are all very good valid reasons you can get angry. It is a good thing you already know some of the triggers on anger. aaww hun I know that "out of control" feeling is difficult and very uncomfie to deal with. hugs my friend. Aaahhh so love how you shared on how it is to be mindful of how your feeling and placing the blame on others. But to take some time to see why your feeling this way truly does lead to mindfulness. Asking those questions to yourself is a really good thing. I think Im going to take this idea from you and try it next time. Wow love this:
"For me, pausing before I react is the key to managing my emotions. It gives me a moment to hear my voice of reason."
1. What are some of your triggers on dealing with your anger? Do you feel in control?
i have to walk away bc even if I can control myself from exploding I still need to get away to make the problem bigger I start to clench my fists and my jaw my expression becomes stoic and I get REALLY quiet that's how my family friends and coworkers know I've reached my limit
2. When you are angry is there any mindfulness skills you do to calm yourself?
i breath and remove myself from the situation I close my eyes and just breath I will take a walk and just focus on the sounds of the birds chirping or the wind blowing or the rivers flowing
3. Do you have any ideas or thoughs on Anger Management you like to share with us?
i agree that anger management techniques don't really help. I've been to AM and I hate to say this but it sucked for me bc I HAVE BIG anger issues but it seems that no matter how hard I tries the techniques I'd end up on square one again. So far since I've been on 7cups I've not only learned to control it but to learn from it and take the steps to emotionally heal from it. So much so everyone around me has noticed.
@LPyMP
Hiya LP great your here todayWalking away is a great skill to have when in the middle of anger. Altho yes you still can feel the affects what anger does to us. I think you are smart and strong to do this. I cant still. Breathing and removing yourself from the situation is great. Walking to and letting your senses notice the birds and so on around you can really help your anger lower. YES AM does not really help. I had to take the class long ago when I shouted back at a police woman- Ha yes even me can let anger get the best of me. I believe alot on knowing the triggers and knowing WHY this angers you can make a big difference. Mindfulness skills does help us with this alot. Thank you LP for openly sharing this. hugs
This is a good post Rumple - thanks!
1. What are some of your triggers on dealing with your anger? Do you feel in control? I've been learing to use mindfulness to be aware of triggers and feelings of anger. My issue is not acting out in anger, rather, my issue is internalizing it and not letting it go. I won't say I'm in control, but i will say that i am learning to recognize what is happening and think through appropriate responses. The hardest thing for me will probably be when the day comes that i realize that my anger is valid and the appropriate response is to confront the issue in some way.
2. When you are angry is there any mindfulness skills you do to calm yourself? I breath. Big deep cleansing breath, usually followed by a few breathing exercises. I also focus on the five senses: name 5 things you can see, name 4 things you can feel, name 3 things you can hear, name two things you can smell, name one thing you can taste.
3. Do you have any ideas or thoughs on Anger Management you like to share with us? I believe that anger management is so important to our physical health. Un-resolved anger can cause high blood pressure, headaches, cardiovascular issues, stomach issues and problems sleeping.
@MissPen hi nice to see you here!Wow I really do like the way you labeled and shared how anger is for you. The controling it on the outside seems to be easier for people BUT internally is very hard-and that is ok too. Yes to be mindful and know anger and any other feeling you have is valid. I do hope when you see this that it brings you some comfort and a smile. Those 2 skills are great to do when your triggered the anger. Great on focusing! Great job!! So yes unresolved anger can affect our health and our well being in general. Thank you so much for sharing with us
1. What are some of your triggers on dealing with your anger? I have pages of trigger rated on how harsh each trigger hits.
Do you feel in control? With my angry outbursts I always feel out of control, and they usually happen with I have more than ten things on my mind. (If I am stressed they come faster and hit me harder.)
2. When you are angry is there any mindfulness skills you do to calm yourself? I usually just have to work the fit out. Sometimes a walk will help, even chores; something to pull my mind away. . . I hate how I feel when I push it out on others.
Today for example, I yelled at my mom for sneaking a bite of dinner because I was running around with a lot of things on my mind, and our food is currently limited. After I went back to cooking and cleaned a few items and then appoligized. I have been worried over our location, my health issues, and my emotional health. I feel i am constantly puting my anger on my family who have been supporting me. (I have been trying to seek therapists to help me, and I was denied twice this week.)
3. Do you have any ideas or thoughs on Anger Management you like to share with us? I think if not taken care it will be only get worst. I also think if we stop seeking control people will get seriously hurt. It's why I am trying to get a grip of my emotional health.
This is just encouraging people to be victims...if you do not get angry and stay calm and not react your offenders get away with it...what ypu are preaching is that we should be happy imbecile numb sitting ducks while others or things hurt us...thank you for your nice advice, but no thank you...i choose to keep my anger.
@RumpleSteeleSkin Lately I have had serious problems in handling my anger . Before I know it my anger takes over me and a constant tape of hatred just starts playing in my mind . I have tried and taken steps to conquer it . I have been meditating daily for the past 1.5 months . Unfortunately haven't seen much of progress. Guess it will take some time . Have also been searching for listeners to chat regarding meditation and yoga . Lets see .
@RumpleSteeleSkin Hi! Most of my angers are related to past abuses. Some current triggers for me is if for example, I am speaking and conveying my thoughts and feelings to my BFF she always has a way of striking a chord in me where I bottle up all the anger until I absolutely cannot take anymore, and I explode. I cannot help thinking she is doing this others, she will totally argue with you over stupid stuff. It's crazy because she knows how I get I feel as if she does this on purpose. Anyway my way of controlling my anger is to remember my breathing technique I learned by putting myself in a quiet place, then breathing in deeply for 7 seconds, holding my breath for 5 seconds, and then exhaling for 8 seconds. I kind of imagine that I am breathing in positive energy and holding it (so the negative energy is accumulated for 5 seconds), then as I am exhaling I imagine the positive energy filling my entire body. Now, I might have to do this a couple of times depending on my level of anger but it does work for me. I hesitate to say this but I actually hold crystals whle I am doing this (it seems to help), but in my mind it works). I don't know if that makes sense, but it does work for me. I also, sometimes, do a twenty minute guided meditation. I learned this a couple of months ago when I was searching for some way to help myself through the difficult emotional times.
@RumpleSteeleSkin
I like the post. Some good points.
And some good coping skills. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
I don't get mad a lot. I work hard not to. Be
We are all human beings and things happened. 😁😁😁!!!
