Grounding 4: Fears
Hmmm so how many here deal with fear? I know I do
We can get so wrapped into fear it takes over our brains and distorts our truths and reality. Fear is esoteric a figment of my imagination. It doesnt actually exist as a physical thing.
Danger is a real probability whereas fear is an incorporeal imagined possibility. Just because Im in a dangerous situation doesnt mean I must be afraid AND when Im feeling afraid it doesnt mean Im in any real danger. When I feel fear my cognitive mind tends to become distracted by it. Thus losing touch with physical reality. Might losing touch with reality make danger much more dangerous? Might it also make it more difficult for me to communicate with others when Im no longer connected to their reality, floating as it were in my own esoteric non-space and non-time?
Let me say it again... when Im feeling afraid I become ungrounded existing in a realm of imagination separated from physical reality even when I THINK Im fully awake and aware. For example, standing on the edge of a precipice, I might feel my knees weaken and my breathing shorten or stop. I THINK Im cognizant of these physical sensations that prove to me that Im correct in attributing them to the danger Im perceiving my fear is justified. Yet, instead, Im imagining falling, the result of which thought is that my body reacts in a fear response. The apparent physical sensations are the result of being ungrounded! My imagination has taken over my physical experience, turning my physical reality into esoteric nonexistence.
Lets now focus on some skills to ground our fear:
Grounding – by slapping myself on the cheek or squeezing my leg firmly or maybe tugging on an earlobe or pressing down on the crown of my head, I become aware of my physical self connected to earth. This action alone can dispel many fears. (this may sound drastic, BUT IT'S NOT! It gets you back to here and now and gets you to ground)
Assessment – by inventorying my breathing rate, my heartbeat, my muscle condition (tight, loose, tense, etc.) and my senses what I see, hear, touch, smell, and taste in the physical right now. I occupy my mind with earth and physical reality rather than fear. Avoiding interpreting the facts, I just note my physical situation in objective terms.
Report – I speak out loud or inside my head my objective report of my physical situation as though I was speaking to another person. "I am safe" "No one is hurting me" "I'm not in danger"
@KrinkTheMellowUnicorn @Pat @Laura @Heather @AutumnLeigh @tazcares @Kason @Power @Hope @kindsoul10 @melliotm@soulsings @sujaypai @ady23 @rumplesteeleskin @sensitiveShade5337 @basty @joyoussun47 @peacefulwarrior10 @lightforlife @sailorelix @kindsoul10 @yzzil @passionatepeyton @emunahhere @amiablepeace77 @helping2findaway @honeydinkley @politelychaotic @agreeablekite4304 @Amelia @LilyLila @psalm139 @PiecesofYou @char1otte @fighter23
Interesting way to put this! I like it. Thanks for explaing it. :)
@fighter23
Hiya Fighter good to see you in check in 
And thank you!
@RumpleSteeleSkin "Esoteric nonexistence." A good way to sum up what it feels like to deal with the ongoing manifestation of fear due to trauma experience (as I have been recently). Been afraid to leave the house.
I needs to pm you still, pachyderm; need help. :(
@melliotm
Hi Melli
Like seeing you here in check in. I thought hard on doing this post as some with fear it is so very real and valid as well. But we all know fear is a handicap emotion that prevents us from seeing the facts as well as being in reality-the here and now. I did this cause I talk with a few people that deal with lots of fear, and it's real and alive in them. But to really see what the fear is- fear vs danger.
Melli your fear is yours and real I can not put a labelon it or intensity. I can only offer you ways of managing that fear and not letting it take over you. Yes I understand on the fear of leaving your home. I have that for 1 year. It was terrible. But I worked very hard on mindfulness and grounding skills to get me past the door and to know the aliens weren't gonna get me, or I was gonna be in a crash or someone was gonna hurt me. You can do this too. I saw your pm and I'll get to you in a bit. Maybe we can talk more on this
I think my fear often manifests itself as anxiety or anxious feelings. Sometimes I fear hanging out with my friends. Even though I love my friends and I enjoy myself later on, I get crazy scared of the initial contact. I usually try some deep breathing and try my hardest to push my fear and anxiety away. What ultimately gets me out of my car to say hi is that I know my friends are counting on me and I don't want to let them down. But there have definately been times where I never got out of the car and drove home instead because the anxiety won. I appreciate the techniques that were mentioned to help ground us. I love that idea. :) Thank you for the check in.
-Ady
@Ady23
Hey there Ady good to see you in check-in today WOW look at you labeling your fear and knowing what it is! Also I loved hearing you share the positive thoughts you had to get you out of your car and enjoy your friends. Congrats cause I do understand it is very rough sometimes. And it's ok that sometimes skills don't work when you try them. Thing is you keep trying and continue working on your anxiety of being with people. Im proud of you!!!
@RumpleSteeleSkin Ah yes, self talk...... you'd think there was a stadium of people in my brain! lol
@yzzil
hahahahaha
yzzil so good to see you here today Man is that the truth. So many voices and cheerleaders up in our brains already!! Thing is we need to focus on 1 and listen-believe and know you are worth it-you are safe- you can do it
@RumpleSteeleSkin - this is a good one! It's taken me a long time to recognize the role fear plays in my mood and feelings and how I handle each day.
@KrinkTheMellowUnicorn
Wow Krinkie da famous unicorn is in my daily check in So glad to see you here Krink. That is the first step, is understanding how much power fear plays in our every day life. How it affects our thinking our behaviors just our daily things we do. The other part I find many have(me also) over thinking the fear. It doesn't help but makes things worse. Krink maybe this can help you a bit
Ask these questions to yourself, maybe write them out, write the answers out.....see how fear plays a part in your emotions and every day life things.....
1.When was Fear needed in your life?
2.How did Fear help you?
3. What is the perfect amount of Fear for you that you are comfortable with?
4.What happens to your thinking and problem solving when we carry too much Fear?
5. How does your body react when you hold onto fear?
@RumpleSteeleSkin - thanks, I will try that. I get behind in check-ins but I eventually read 'em all :) <3
@KrinkTheMellowUnicorn
Hi Krink it is very nice to see you in Check-Ins-- but also understandable when you can't. Glad you do read them
@RumpleSteeleSkin
@Laura
Laura good to see you here in check in-EVEN THO you giveing
Good read. Thank you
@Anxietyisnottheend
HI AnxietyIm glad to see you here in check-in. Im glad you like this post.
@RumpleSteeleSkin. Hey RSS. That's one of my favorite movies…. High Anxiety. Lol
@yzzil
good to hear that!
Very interesting read. I'm glad I came across it. I just joined 7cups 2 days ago and am already realizing the affects my many fears are having on me and the anxiety it's causing. Mindfulness was recommended to me and so I found this group. I'm going to attempt to put these things in practice. Thank you
@ambitiousChestnut9758. Welcome to the group!! 7cups had s ton of mindfulness activities. Good luck. Join in. Ask questions. Hang out. 😊👍
@yzzil thank you
@ambitiousChestnut9758
Welcome Chestnut to mindfulness forumsHaving fears can be a good thing or a very bad thing. It can help motivate you into doing something like a hard goal or other things-or it can hinder you and make you handicapped on many things in life. It is good to identify where your fears lay as well as why they are there. That way you can tackle one by one. Mindfulness helps us to be in the moment and not only that-but distracts us from some fearful anxious things to Please if you like to learn on something let me know
@RumpleSteeleSkin, Thank you!
Most of my fears tend to lead me to behaviors and attitudes I later regret. I tried using mindfulness as a distraction yesterday when I'd start to think on things that make my fears surface. It seemed to work. I've got a lot to learn but am giving it a shot.
@ambitiousChestnut9758
HI Chestnut good to see you. I'd like to share something I tried many of centuries ago
I just observed some behaviors and attitudes or moods I'd have alot. Wrote them down and tried to see if I could finger out where they were coming from. Then I'd notice the behavior part. That was hard as I thought I was doing alright-you know. So I got brave and wrote down the behaviors I done, also matched them to my moods or attitudes. Then came the hard part. I then wrote down all the concequences wether positive or negative-I wrote them down.
Then I sat down and seen right there how I was reacting to a feeling or thought. How others reacted to how I was then. Maybe you can give this a try and let me know how it went for you
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Interesting exercise. Must admit, sounds scary! Makes me nervous just thinking about doing it. But those feelings are telling me "that's why you should try it" so I'm going to try to find some alone time in the near future and give it a try!
Thank you 😊
@ambitiousChestnut9758
aaawww I don't mean for it to be scary. It is hard work- but it also gives you clear "why" you choose certain negative behaviors or some good ones.Try and let me know. You can do this
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Oh, I know you didn't intend to scare me. It's just the mind can be a scary place. But I want to improve myself so I am going to do it. I really appreciate you for suggesting it.
