Holiday Discussion
Hey Mindfulness Community how are you doing today? Maybe doing ok or wonderful- or even stressed due to the holidays. Huggles to you
Christmas can be a stressful time of the year, if we let it. The pressure of buying the perfect gifts, preparing food and having a ‘Happy Christmas can be overwhelming. This can be a time of celebration, an opportunity to spend time with loved ones, to relax and perhaps allow ourselves the odd indulgence or two.
In the midst of all the planning and organising and the on-going effort of keeping everyone around you happy, the one person we can forget is ourselves. So this Christmas why not give yourself a gift, the gift of mindfulness.
For me mindfulness has two aspects. Firstly, it is about being ‘present to yourself, being gentle and compassionate towards yourself and acknowledging that you are always doing your best. Secondly, mindfulness is about paying attention to what is going on around you, seeing the world through eyes of gratitude, being in the moment, not reliving the past or worrying about the future.
So.... how can we give ourselves the gift of mindfulness for Christmas?
1. The true holiday spirit
You cannot make Christmas meaningful to you until you decide what you want Christmas to mean to you. What are your priorities over the Christmas period? Whats important to you about Christmas? When you are clear as to whats important to you, then how you spend your time over Christmas should reflect this.
2. Add your own name to your gift list
As well as the gift of mindfulness, why not give yourself a tangible gift this year? Many years ago I started the tradition of buying myself a Christmas present. It might be a book or a nice bottle of wine, (or both) but I do it to acknowledge myself and everything I do well every day of the year. This year it is a jacket Ive been coveting for ages. Ive saved up and can tick it from my bucket list too!
3. Good enough is good enough
The theory of Christmas is the image is of a perfect family with shining faces sitting around an open fire in woolly jumpers with perhaps even a Clydesdale horse trotting by the window. The reality of Christmas for many is traffic jams around shopping centres, hangovers, keeping the peace, hoping someone doesnt drink too much, borrowing money, hours in the kitchen, putting on a brave face to mask loneliness or sadness. Also. a lot of mental illness triggers/
Stress arises when we try to be perfect or control situations outside of our control. Try and know whatever you can share was thoughtful to your person you give a gift to. Even if you can't try not to let that be a trigger. Mostly to be mindful of gifting yourself first.
Discussion
1. What are somethings you can gift yourself mindfullly? Now remember you can do this without using money.
2. Holidays can be so rough and lonely knowing each one of us can deal with memories and triggers-even depression. Can you sit and think of 1 thing you can do for yourself and prepare for this holiday?
3. I know many of you have wonderful coping skills to share with the community. Can you share a couple that works for you on holidays?
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@RumpleSteeleSkin
1. What are somethings you can gift yourself mindfullly? Now remember you can do this without using money.
I gift myself a self care each day. I try to do things to make myself feel better whether a hot bath at night or crafts when it is tune down time so I can sleep better or read a book that I am interested in.
2. Holidays can be so rough and lonely knowing each one of us can deal with memories and triggers-even depression. Can you sit and think of 1 thing you can do for yourself and prepare for this holiday?
I make the holiday as peaceful and pleasant as I can I decorate things that remind me of my Mom since passing away 15 years ago.
3. I know many of you have wonderful coping skills to share with the community. Can you share a couple that works for you on holidays?
I listen to christmas songs and think of those not here with me. I try to use meditation and mindfulness practices I developed.
@pamharley003 good to see you
What wonderful gifts to yourself I say
I'm with you on the long baths and the crafts. Good job that you do this daily for yourself. aaww it is nice to remember someone special to us and include some sort of activity. Good for you! Listening to music does help the soul and mood we go through around the holidays. Now this one I share with you reminds me of gratitude https://youtu.be/ifCWN5pJGIE
Lovely Discusion Rumple, I really enjoyed reading it!
1. What are somethings you can gift yourself mindfullly? Now remember you can do this without using money.
Some things for me that I can gift myself mindfully is taking time to myself and being in the moment. This is something like going and colouring and gifting myself the time to let go of the worry of the day to day hustle and busy times that are always happening in my life. Gifting myself time for me and having time to practice mindfulness is super big for me.
2. Holidays can be so rough and lonely knowing each one of us can deal with memories and triggers-even depression. Can you sit and think of 1 thing you can do for yourself and prepare for this holiday?
One thing that I can do for myself is making a coping plan. I usually do this in the Holiday times as it does bring back some hard memories for me. I try to know what my boundries are and stay within them so that I can enjoy the holidays as best as I can.
3. I know many of you have wonderful coping skills to share with the community. Can you share a couple that works for you on holidays?
Some coping skills that work for me are: Drinking tea and reading a book, Playing with my pets/ Going out and taking the dog on a walk, Colouring/Journaling, Baking/Cooking, Excercise and Photography. Mindfulness Practice is another big coping skill that I use over the holidays.
There are so many more ways that I use to cope on the holidays but those are a few
@Karrot wow I like those pics! What a simple crayon or colored pencil can do-right. I say you are doing a good job gifting yourself some mindfulness time. Kepp this up. Double Wow Karrot!! Making a coping plan for the holidays is a wonderful thing to do. It allows you to think of your triggers or people and some thoughts/feelings you can have around the holidays. Then you master up a few things you can do. All those coping skills to make sure you have a good holiday are awesome-sauce!! Id like to get into taking pictures. I hope your holidays are great
I get out and do things for other people who may not be able to get out.
I remind my self that when I had a family how much chaos there was then I feel better about being alone.
I redirect my focus
@scarletPear1945
Glad to see you here Pear. It is very mindful to get out of ourselves and direct our attention to others and help them. It brings some gratitude and some positive feelings. Good job you do that. idk how to answer this one back but I'll do my best. First hugsI can really connect with you on knowing there is family but there is just way to much chaos to even enjoy this holiday with with. Then feeling the lonliness. BUT we do what we have to and make sure we stay healthy. Redirecting your focus is a great coping skill to have and know. With all that you shared I do hope that your holidays are nice
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Thank you, you mase my day
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Thank you very much. I had wondered if this was just a cover-up way to handle the loneliness that really is felt so strong during the holidays. It's been my experience during this season that there are a lot of deaths in our family that kind of keeps me on pins and needles. Feeling lonely even though I have a husband and daughter seems so foreign and strange. Even if the family has this disconnection I still want to feel connected or apart of something even if it is unproductive. I guess that sounds a bit stupid but real. Those are like my triggers and I try to just accept things for what they are and not let it get me down.
@scarletPear1945
@RumpleSteeleSkin
1. What are some things you can gift yourself mindfully?
I can gift myself some time alone to care about myself instead of worrying about other things that are going on
2. Holidays can be so rough and lonely knowing each one of us can deal with memories and triggers-even depression. Can you sit and think of 1 thing you can do for yourself and prepare for this holiday?
I can make sure I am doing okay before I go out and do something like seeing family because if I go out feeling bad then when I get back I will feel awful.
3. I know many of you have wonderful coping skills to share with the community. Can you share a couple that works for you on holidays?
Something I do is I listen to some songs that describe how I feel so I can get all of my bad feelings out. There are a few holiday songs I like because they are about what it's like when you don't like the holidays that much and I relate to them so much. I also like t read and listen to music when I am with family because it can look like I am doing if for school.
@littlePapaya2167
Paaaapayyyaaa wow I'm smmiling to see you here today ahh yes to get out of the direction of worry is really mindful. Giving yourself time alone is very mindful. Checking in with yourself to make sure you are all good before a family visit is very important. Wow I am so proud of you for sharing this-as many of us do not do this (me) Good to hear you use music and reading as a good distraction, but also to let yourself feel the way you need to. I say what you just shared you are very ready for the holidays. I do hope they are good
@RumpleSteeleSkin Yeah this post was something I needed because the holidays are a hectic time for me. Another thing is that at the class I go to on Mondays I was told that we have to take time for ourselves over the holiday and then tell the teacher when we get back and I've been thinking about how to fit my time to do that so it was really nice to think about it some more.
@littlePapaya2167 I do hope you find many YOU times and can enjoy each of those times. Then you can have many things to share with your teacher. Little steps hun thats all that counts
@RumpleSteeleSkin Hi Rumple! I hope today finds you well!
1. What are somethings you can gift yourself mindfullly? Now remember you can do this without using money. I can gift myself a sense of calm and peace by being mindful of my surroundings and not being stuck in my head! And I can also gift myself less stress!
2. Holidays can be so rough and lonely knowing each one of us can deal with memories and triggers-even depression. Can you sit and think of 1 thing you can do for yourself and prepare for this holiday? Meditate! That is how I am preparing for the holidays!
3. I know many of you have wonderful coping skills to share with the community. Can you share a couple that works for you on holidays? Removing myself from a stressful situation really helps me. Going outside for a few minutes can really help calm me down!
@lavenderpeach1107 hey-hey-hey! Glad you stopped by! Wow I love that gift you give yourself. Less stress and being out of your head all great mindful things to have around the holidays. Many things can get you stressed even before you celebrate. Meditation is a great way to prepare yourself for anything around the holidays. I like it cause I can observe myself and body and try and change things to make me more ready. I agree with you when things get to be to much walking away to calm down so does help. Wow you sound very ready for the holidays. I do hope they are good times for you
@RumpleSteeleSkin Thanks Rumple! I hope the holidays go well for you too! As always, thank you for your kind and well-thought-out reply! It's always a pleasure getting to participate in your discussions!
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Hello Rumple💗 I hope you're doing well. I loved this discussion! It was a good reminder for me to remain mindful during this holiday season, so thank you!
1. What are somethings you can gift yourself mindfullly? Now remember you can do this without using money.
I I like to gift myself time for me. The holidays can be really stressful and taking a step away from the crowd to meditate or just relax can be super helpful.
2. Holidays can be so rough and lonely knowing each one of us can deal with memories and triggers-even depression. Can you sit and think of 1 thing you can do for yourself and prepare for this holiday?
Honestly, I think preparing for possible triggers/situations can really make a difference on how we deal with everything when that tough situation happens . However for me, preparing for the holidays doesn't really help as I tend to overthink everything. I think one thing I can do to handle the holidays better is take it one step at a time and focus on the present.
3. I know many of you have wonderful coping skills to share with the community. Can you share a couple that works for you on holidays?
I really love the holidays and that's because it's probably the only time of the year that I have a lot of free time. Usually, I spend a lot of time reading a book near the fireplace or sleeping. ^~^ Also, I really like taking walks (especially if it's snowing outside) while listening to music.
@RumpleSteeleSkin
I really like this thread, thank you. In NZ the situation is even worse than in the northern hemisphere because this is our srpring/early summer when the garden is going hell for leather. It is also the start of when prople and businesses take their long summer break so a whole month of activity has to be crammed in before Christmas. In addition every group has to have a lunch or dinner together so the dining and time demands of that are very hard.. I am overwhelmed and not getting enough rest or sleep because my already poor sleeping is thrown off by this frantic pace of society. In addition the traffic builds up to a crawl as graduation processions close the streets. I think there were three this week. Then the Cruise Ships deposit thousands. Its cazy. Its Christmas.
Today I have spent all day in the garden also supervising 2 students I am paying to help. My husband death has left me with far too much to manage., I havent yet eaten my dinner and it is 8.22pm, Not that I wanted it earlier it was too hot. And I have not packed up my presents to send yet and tomorrow afternoon have a choir rehearsal for one of the several carol concerst and we have just finished the Mesiah performance. You northeren hemisphere folk have it easy.
So what to do?
1. What are somethings you can gift yourself mindfullly? Now remember you can do this without using money. Have something to eat as soon as I finish writing this, put my tools away and get a bath. This is my pre Christmas present. Over the next 10 days scream daily. I have just done that and it felt so good. On Christmas day I hope I will have nothing to scream about. Especially if I go to Midnight mass. That will help to centre me.
2. Holidays can be so rough and lonely knowing each one of us can deal with memories and triggers-even depression. Can you sit and think of 1 thing you can do for yourself and prepare for this holiday? See the above. Everything stops including most of my support systems. I am already well and truly triggerered and January will be worse as I wont have my trauma centred yoga to go to or Tai Chi or craniosacral therapy. Or psychotherapy etc etc. My bereavement support group will be scattered over the globe. My book group over NZ, my neigbours and friends away!!!! I will be largely alone for a month. This is hard when you dont like yourself and your husband is dead. I do have visiting friends from the UK for a few days but that is probably less helpful than it sounds.
I have stored up for myself an Irene Lyon 21 day course for getting the ANS back in balance and I will continue my Peter Levine exercises and practice yoga and Tai Chi. I am really looking forward to getting concentrated time on all this bodywork
3. I know many of you have wonderful coping skills to share with the community. Can you share a couple that works for you on holidays? I dont have enough experience. I used my husband as a psychological prop and put him at the centre of my existance. We were always fulfilled and happy to be together. I have only had 2 christmases without him and one of those was messed up by some very harmful psychotherapy . Christmas itself was never a problem for us. It is always the lead up that is so bad here. The holidays themselves were great when he was alive.We always had plenty to do.