Mindfulness Daily Check-In July 1, 2018
Hey, hey, mindfulness fam <3 Its the start of July for many of us, so this a great time to refresh on something that I feel a lot of us forget sometimes, including me.
One of the most common misconceptions about mindfulness is that mindfulness involves controlling our thoughts. This is incorrect because its impossible to control every single thought. If I tell you not to think of a blue elephant for the next five minutes, chances are youll think about the blue elephant for most of those five minutes.
Since a lot of our thoughts are distressing and can be about the future or the past, rather than trying to control our thoughts by shutting them out, we can simply let them pass and observe. I like to say to myself, oh, thats interesting. And move on if its not a particularly helpful thought.
If a thought keeps coming back, we can notice that its coming back without diving into the stories behind the thought.
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@EmunahHere
Great post here Emunah
I am so very glad you shared on this. As Mindfulness Doesn't Control Our Thoughts.
Mindfulness teaches us to STOP judging our thoughts as also controling them, teaches us to be gentle and kind to our thoughts even to those that are disturbing.The bottom line is, thoughts come and go. Trying to control what thoughts occur when, or trying to stop certain thoughts from happening altogether, is a poor use of your time and energy.
There is good news, however. If you accept that you cant control thoughts, you can focus your efforts on what you can do. You can strengthen awareness of them, and develop the skill of observing mind-made activity withoutgetting caught up in it. In doing so, you learn to interrupt the process that leads to conditioned behavior and habitual actions and reactions.
So how many of you thought on that blue elephant? I did
@EmunahHere thanks for the reminder. I never could control my thoughts but I can start to redirect my attention. Great check in.
Lately, when I think of mindfulness, I think of Chris Evans (American Actor) and what he said of brain noise (thoughts) in a video he made talking about his anxiety and weather patterns of his mind...
"I think in most of our lives the root of suffering is listening to that brain noise and actually identifying with it as if it's who you are. That's just the noise your brain makes. And more often than not, it probably doesn't have much to say that's going to help you. I've felt my best are the moments that I've been able to pull that plug and say, 'Chris … shhh … shhh.' And it's not quitting, it's not giving up, it's not washing your hands of the thought, it's rising above it. All the time I've spent suffering as a result of brain noise, hours of my life wasted. So that's what I'd say: 'Shhh.'
It's not not about controlling the thought... it's not about giving up because of what blatherskite the thought is saying... it's about rising above the thought, finding peace and just knowing not every thought in your head is yours.
@diplomaticconfucious nice thoughts. Glad to hear you are getting off the "thought train" and drifting down the river to the isle of peace.
@soulsings
Thanks Souls... I'm trying.... one day - one moment at a time.
Hello, I'm littlefox! Finally I have figured out my way around the Subs (late doing I know heh) so im new to the Mindfulness Sub Group. Come and say hey :)
Hi @littlefox14 glad to see you in the Mindfulness forums. Hope you have a good 4th and happy posting!
@soulsings Thank you Soul! Hope to hear a lot from you in the future :)
@littlefox14 well I am in mindfulness group support room for 18 plus sessions on Mondays at 3:30PM and 8PM EDT and Thursday 5:30PM EDT. Look for notices for other discussions that may "pop up".
@soulsings I
@littlefox14
Hey :) <3 glad to have you here! Welcome to the mindfulness family <3
Hope to see you around!
@EmunahHere *waves* don
Really don't feel like partying tonight even thou it is the 4th of July and fireworks are going off soon. I just don't understand why my head goes from 0 to 100 or higher every time my husband opens is mouth and pisses me off. He doesn't even let me ask him questions on why the truck engine in smoking and he is pouring coffee and water on it without getting mad at me.
@Havingfuninthesnow
I'm sorry you're having a stressful 4th of July.
When communication breaks down... so much goes awry - and taking a moment before responding or not responding does help. Not responding is okay - and when the other party says "Aren't you going to say something?", I usually find myself responding, "I was listening and letting you express your frustrations. I wasn't sure this was a time to offer a solution or comment. I have a few thoughts, are you curious?" Sometimes it works to my favor - sometimes it doesn't -- either way, you can control how you respond or don't, with what energy, and with what intention -- plus you put the ball back in their court with the open-ended question that hopefully was delivered civilly.
I've noticed that some people transfer their stress and irritation from the true cause (then engine) to the nearest available person, in this case it's you. I've also noticed, sometimes when people are stressed they need someone to talk AT about it - there's not anticipation of solution being offered just let them get it out and move on. The hyper state of GRRRRRR - can easily lead into a Snapfest even when you weren't the initial GRRRRRR party - and taking time to mindfully measure your response and your irritation can help. Remembering that you can only control you - no one else - and your responses to the GRRRRR iniator gives you the power to say "I'm going to let them make this a crappy day for me" or "They are entitled to have their bad mood but I don't have to own it." (I'm working on this last part myself and admittably it isn't always the easiest to practice. )
Now a bit of US Independence history - the actual written document didn't have a draft created until July 19th. An enlarged copy of the approved draft of the Declaration of Independence was signed August 2nd by all 56 members of the Continental Congress including the ones that weren't there for the intial vote with and the actual notice and the Declaration did not reach the UK/London until August 10th. Copies of the signed edition were then reproduced on printing presses for distribution in January 1777. (Curious - learn more here> https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/delegates-sign-declaration-of-independence) So, actually, the official signed document came about August 2nd. Therefore, August 2nd (or its adjacent weekend), can be your make up day for celebrating the US's Declaration for Independence - so plan something fun for yourself - and friends and family, if you want. 
BTW off topic sort of re: truck ... from my all too frequent auto shop visits, it sounds like the thermostat is gummed shut and prolly needs replacing. Plus an oil change for the scorched oil, a float test to check the life of the radiator fluid would probably help too, and a check to make sure engine cooling fan and relays are working. If you're in the states, pop in to an autoparts store and ask them to run the handheld diagnostic on it - error codes might be available in the onboard. Otherwise, call the garages and check prices for a computer diagnostic and ask if they offer printouts as well.
@diplomaticconfucious
Thanks