Mindfulness Daily Check In July 12 2017
Hello everyone
How are we all doing today?
Happy Sad
Silly
Not sure
Sassy
Shy
Wondering
Angry
Cool
Develish
Hurt/depressed/stressed
Broken Hearted
Loved
................................. Or all this SO intensified!!!!!
I want you all to know however you are feeling-IT IS VALID!
I myself can surely go from 1-1000000 in a second. I can also be very hard on myself and judge my thinking and believe what others have to say to me when I am like this. I can become isolated and withdrawn so very quickly. Or I can run away like a very scared cat. But.....
I practice some mindfulness skills to help me be more balanced or not so intense. For me those skills help me to look better at facts and truths-doesn't mean what I feel is wrong, just gives me correct info to my brain as so my feelings are not so intense. No I am not perfect on this, but getting better in some areas I'd like to share some simple skills I use and maybe they can help you-too
Stop- Turn-Towards Once you have become aware of the feeling, stop for a moment. Take a deep breath and then ‘sit with the anger, shame, guilt, anxiety, frustration or fear. Dont inhibit it, suppress it, ignore it or try to conquer it. Just be with it with an attitude of open curiosity and acceptance.
Identify The Emotion Acknowledge that the emotion is there. If you are embarrassed, you can specifically recognise that feeling. You can mentally say to yourself, for example, I know there is embarrassment in me.
Acceptance Of What When you are embarrassed, or feeling another negative emotion, you dont need to deny it. Don't try and figure out "why" or rationalise with how you feel. Just..... I can accept that I am experiencing intense embarrassment right now.
What emotions are you feeling today? Do you notice which ones are intense? Which ones are silent? And which ones that are just there?
@KrinkTheMellowUnicorn @Pat @Laura @Heather @AutumnLeigh @tazcares @Kason @Power @Hope @kindsoul10 @melliotm@soulsings @sujaypai @ady23 @rumplesteeleskin @sensitiveShade5337 @basty @joyoussun47 @peacefulwarrior10 @lightforlife @sailorelix @kindsoul10 @yzzil @passionatepeyton @emunahhere @amiablepeace77 @helping2findaway @honeydinkley @politelychaotic @agreeablekite4304 @Amelia @LilyLila @psalm139 @PiecesofYou @char1otte
Hey all. I hope your Wednesday is going great. I think the hardest part for me is to accept the emotions I am having. I often feel extreme guilt and shame and have trouble accepting those feelings. It seems to be much easier to accept feelings of happiness and even sadness without judgement.
-Ady
@Ady23
Hiya Ady good to see you in check-in today. Of course you are so right here. Who wants to sit with anything uncomfortable- but to be feeling good and right. The feelings that we are used to have or "comfie" with are the ones we have daily and accept and expect them there. But then what happens when we feel something different? WOWZERS we are all over the place, trying to rationalize, judge,self talk, and accept that feeling. Ady I challenge you to try 1 feeling a day, 1 that you feel you can challenge yourself to sit tight with and be uncomfie. To gather strength, observe your breathing and how your body is and how your reactions are. Share truths to yourself. And try not to judge what you feel.
You can do this Ady
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Challenge accepted <3
@Ady23 I have feelings of needing to be perfect and guilt about falling short. I read an article that this could be the result of having parents with overly high expectations of perfection
@soulsings That's interesting. Maybe I also have high expectations of myself.
@soulsings
Hi Soul good to see you here today. I have to agree with you on that. My mum raised 6 kids on her own-but she was a "perfectionalist" We always had to have our rooms cleaned looking neat when we could, just things we always done a certain way...never relaxed family setting. Well guess what....I am her to a point. My kids need a clean room, chores done and them looking great. NOPE. I have been trying to live with a mess(to a point) and kids all raggity lol. I am not perfect and to also love my mistakes
Awesome post
@sailorelix
Hi Sailor thanks alotz
@sailorelix
Hi Sailor good to see you
@fighter23 What do you think about this post? 🙂
@peacefulWarrior10 Wow! Stuff we are talking about now! Also I feel like I relate to the person who originally wrote the post! Feels good to be understood and not feel crazy!
@fighter23 Glad you could relate 🙂
@fighter23
Hi Fighter nice to see you And thank you for feeling you can relate to me. What are some things you can relate to? You are so right- it does feel good when you can connect with someone or something and not feel "weirdo" I am so glad today you came here Also if there is anything like a topic you like to see here please do share.
@RumpleSteeleSkin Hi Rumple! Nice to see you too! Basically the whole beginning of your post I relate to. One thing I started realizing about myself is I feel as though my emotions aren't valid so I push them away. I am apart of another community outside of 7 cups and basically they live by a positivity mindset but at the same time they expect you to push all your emotions away.If you react then you are negative. I have learned this is VERY unhealthy and UNREALISTIC! I have surely changed my mindset but at points i have negativity which is really anger if anything and then I move on. I liked how you mention how quickly you can go from one emotion to the next. Last semester I recognzied what my counselor meant by I go from one extreme to another in seconds. My boss helped me with that conclusion as well. Over the years I have become my worst enemy because I let people's thoughts and opinions about me become the truth when they really aren't, I have been woking on many things but some being mindfulness, loving myself and not letting others opinions and thoughts control me. I have been working with my sponsor peacefulWarrior10 and see myself getting better real slowly that is and minor setbacks but I don't give up and that's all that matters. As you posted about the skills you used I found myself screenshotting it because my sponsor has been trying to help me with that. Now that I see it has been helping others I am going to give it a try and use it as a reminder! I like that I was tagged here as well. Would have never thought to checkout the group truthfully. Is there a way to join the community because I don't see the button to do so. No topics at the moment come to mind but then again my brain is pretty fried.
@fighter23
Hi Fighter good to see ya again Thank you so much for sharing here and feeling safe and comfortable in doing it. I do feel you on not feeling validated in how you feel or think. I wish everyone could have some form of validation. But I'm telling you YOU MATTER and your feelings matter too!! Everyone here matters what they share here or feel. I'd like to ask- Have you thought of a different way where you felt your feelings were validated? Like is it enough if you said to yourself"Today I am angery-and that is ok to feel this!" I just thought of this, as I used to long time ago had no validation EVER. Kinda lonely I think so I was my own cheer leader till I found good friends. I know that some culturals believe in different things concerning feelings and mental health. I am sorry that you can not get the validation you need. But I am so glad you have a good listener here and getting validation.
I am so happy to hear you are trying mindfulness and seeing if it works for you. I think mindfulness can be for everyone that breathes I do like hearing you share some of your struggles but also backing them up and believing in yourself in trying things, saying things to yourself and moving forward as best as you can.
I am glad you are here in mindfulnes with all my wonderful friends and a great team too. Please share things, ideas or wanting some support in learning some mindfulness skills. Also if you like I can add you on our taglist so you can recieve things posted in this area.
@RumpleSteeleSkin Thanks Rumple for supporting my amazing sponsee! She definitely could use your guidance :) I guess she wouldn't mind being added to the tag list, but I'll still leave it to her.
Welcome here @fighter23 , its nice to read your posts always. You express yourself so deeply... I'm really proud of you ❤
@peacefulWarrior10 Thank you so much!!! Yes, you know I could use all the support possible! I stated I would like to be in the taglist. As you know working on some anger right now so I haven't checked notifications nor do I really feel like responding here but I am doing it anyways.
I do my best! Thank you for the kind words!! :) <3
@fighter23
Hey there I added you to the taglist and for todays check in you should of recieved a notification for.
@RumpleSteeleSkin awesome! Thank you!
@RumpleSteeleSkin Thank you so much!! Really needed to know I mattered so a huge thanks there! Truthfully I don't think I ever validated myself but rather beat myself up for being angry. Actually beating myself up now when I shouldn't because a) no way is it my fault and b) I now feel really sick and I have to see my manager in hour and I don't want him seeing me like this! I need to learn to be my own cheerleader because it's clear especially at home everybody hates me!
It's ironic how there is a stigma behind mental health and people struggle about talking about it. I am one that struggles around speaking of it. I addressed it to my boss at school through email because I couldn't say the words. My family has no idea because I know they don't care and I would be made fun of and put down about it.
I am at the point in my life where I am aware I need change and I am desperate. Searching for anything that works. I try to stay on the positive side and when I am not there I definitely back my thoughts. I just don't want to spit out a bunch of nonsense for no reason.
Yes, that would be great if you add me to your taglist! Thank you so much!! :D
@fighter23
Wow Im liking seeing you in my forum area today I know it's very hard to feel and not only that- but ACCEPT our worth our worthiness to anyone or anything in the world. It is hard-I get it. But as I said earlier- YOU ARE WORTH A WHOLE LOT How do you think validating yourself would look like? How would it feel? Is there 1 thing you can right now say to yourself out loud that is positive? Or it can be a feeling like angry, sad, depressed? Can you try this.......
Fighter I do agree with any kind of stigma dealing with mental health. It sucks and it affects many coming out to recieve the help that they need. I'm very sorry this is around you and especially your family space. I am hoping that soon your family will listen to you and love you enough to support and help you..hugs
Fighter that is your name you choose here right? What does that name mean to you? Since I started talking to you-you have fought to find many ways to help and support yourself. You amaze me more and more. Know you are a strong person and you encourage me in my own personal life and I am sure many here. You use these forum areas where you feel safe and comfortable and share whatever you want. We are all here to listen and support you. You are so welcome in my pm and in here
@RumpleSteeleSkin You will see some days I will be more consistent than others. Yesterday was an awful day so I posted a little bit an anxiety and that's it. I was having trouble thinking and trying to write was an ultimate struggle. At one point I thought it wasn't even possible to accept our worth but I have seen others do it so I know one day I wil be able to as well. You're too kind! Thank you! <3
Validating myself would probably look like just owning my feelings and not beating myself up for it. Not questioning why all the time. While in counseling my counselor wanted me to learn to sit with anxiety and stop using my headphones to block everything out. The reason being I wasn't feeling anything. I would get angry and instead of thinking why I just put my headphones in and went with it. The deal was once I started sitting with it and understanding everything and recognizing what was going on then I could use headphones afterwards. I had nothing positive yesterday for myself. I feel too broken and the pain is becoming too much. I am made out to be the biggest failure. Called useless, retarded, baby and on. I was disown yesterday but yet I am still expected to do eveyrthing for everybody. I can't ever seem to win. I do what they want and I get treated awful, I don't do what they wanted and same thing. The only difference is when I don't do what they want it's way worse.
Thank you for the sympathy. My family would never accept me so they will never know. I get out in a few years and they will basically be dead to me which sounds awful but they have caused me too much pain and suffering. They are the reason my depression and anixety gets so bad over the summer and during breaks that I feel beyond helpless and as if no one cares. They make me hate myself and snapping out of it is unreal.
I was looking for a name to that would be a reminder. Fighter ended up being something I have had to do all my life at school, at home and with life's difficulties daily. i decided that would remind me to keep fighting but at the same time remind me how far I have come. Awe you're going to make me cry!! Thank you so much for the kinds words! I may take you up on that offer! Thanks. :) <3
@fighter23
Hi Fighter, I wish I could give you a real hug and for you to feel you do have a place and other things. But I can offer my words not sympathy, but empathy and understanding, teach or show you a few skills where you can find certain things you crave like we all do within ourselves, to help you "settle" with how you feel and know you are safe and ok. You are truly strong and looking for ways to over come things and live. Whenever you feel you want to stop in this area or any where else, to vent, share and support come do it
@RumpleSteeleSkin it's okay. Virtual hugs are nice too. One of the biggest things I am missing at school is the hugs I got. When I was feeling down all I had to do was ask for a hug which I got and I normally felt better. My family doesn't lke hugs so that is harder here and plus I wouldn't ask them! Damn I always mix sympathy and empathy up- oh well. Thank you!
Thank you so much. I will take advantage of the offer when I am feeling it. <3 (: Thanks again for all the kind words!
thanks for all your work rumple
@amiablePeace77
Hiya there Peace- nice to see you today And thank you!! I am commited ONLY cause of you members who support Mindfulness Team and share ideas. Love getting up and thinking what next to post
@RumpleSteeleSkin
i will share more ideas too
@amiablePeace77
Yay throw them out to me
@RumpleSteeleSkin
i was expected to be perfect and i proved them wrong (smiling). sometimes parents want their children to achieve what they could not for some sort of reason. how awfull it must be to be perfect and how lonely. i stay like i am, not perfect.
@amiablePeace77
Hi Peace again Yes I didn't understand mine either. But I grew up alright....not perfect but alright. I do agree with you on parents wanting more for their child, like correcting whatever went wrong in theirs. And to a point that is ok, but the child will be themselves regardless. Yes be who you need to be-YOU
