Mindfulness Daily Check-In November 13, 2017
Hi everyone
How are you doing today? I'd like to talk a bit on this Being Mindful When Comforted By Others.
We are not enemies, but friends… Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection, The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature. -Abraham Lincoln
I know it's very hard for many to be touched, or even comforted or cared for from past trauma or not so good experiences. But I tell you- WE ALL NEED TOUCH
We are human, we were built that way- some how
But when we get abused, abandoned, hurt we shut that off automatically.
So. how can we be mindful and recieve/practice getting comforted/touched? Instead of me listing all the ways to practice a skill or ideas what to try, I'd like to hear what you all have, or are currectly trying
@blueocean @BillyWilson @babybenfin @behindhazeleyes @billywilson @BlueberryFriend @blueocean45 @borderinline @BuddhistDracula @blueDiamond @brilliomturtle89 @bluewolf1229 @benevolentOrange31 @callforhelp @char1otte @CrissiArabela @Claito @calmHero86 @courtmarievibes @compassion4you14 @DarkCoffee @diplomaticShade2167 @Deeperblue @enigmaforte @EnigmaForte @emilyLanes @EmunahHere @EastAfrique @Eccho@Evaparker02 @essdee Fairhouse @FreeSoul1417@fighter23 @Gaara @GhostInTheShellx @Gozzil @happydandan @helpfulHuman4993 @helping2findaway @Harleemoon @Hereyzzil @hopeless104 @InvisibleAngel92 @Itsybitsyspider91 @inventiveOrange1 @joyoussun45 @kindsoul10 @kristenPLPCCRC @kirtokun0731@kevan @Kodachrome73 Joe2017 @JustLikeMellie @Jenna0903 @joyoussun47 @JenSee @KatMae @KrinkTheMellowUnicorn @kvo8 @KattPiper @Lionellinu13 @lia345 @Learntolive @LilaGrace @lightforlife @lilynoelle @LilyLila @lightofhope89 @Lovejoy @leothelittlelioncub1 @melliotm @Mikey123 @Musicismyfriend @NoDramaBabyLlama @nourrirvotreame @obie2 @oxfordshiregatsby @passionatepeyton @Pat @penguinpower31 @peppermintlove @PiecesofYou @Pininin @PinkMallow @pizzalover1341 @politeAvocado7234 @politelychaotic @princessofcurcus @probius @psalm139 @PurpleSnowflake2310 @politeskies6536 @rachelq @resilience @rumplesteeleskin @rosesway @Rcusick12 @sailorelix @saif1for1 @Saltydog68 @ Samar27 @santysan @sensitiveShade5337 @silverWillow1625 @singblue @smileyPower @Softforesthsp77 @soulrestorer102 @soulsings @Spearstar @sujaypai @SunFern @SunFlower @sweetmango91 @summertimesamness @stillLavender24 @tazcares @tjb28 @tisjme @unicornbunny @victoriia @wildcat85 @Wawas @XxOgSpunBbygrl @yogibear10 @yzxil @zeraphim
@RumpleSteeleSkin I agree touch might be important to most of us. However there are rare conditions were even a gentle touch creates physical pain and we should keep this in mind.
@kindSoul10
Hello Kind nice seeing you in check-in today Most definately Kind that is very important to remember.I try and be so open minded on this topic and also mindful. But it saddens me to know something like "touch" so freely given has been so violated with many. But the positive side to this all is I hear many trying touch again and trust. And for those I give high 5-too
@RumpleSteeleSkin I never doubt your abilities rumple. I felt like adding a sidenote since less experienced people might find it useful.
I love your check-ins and in general the mindfulness ones. mindfulness team is awesome as always. ❤
@kindSoul10
aawww Soul thank you and I'm sure the whole mindfulness team loves what they bring out to the community
@kindSoul10
i read about that too kindSoul, must be hard for those people because emotionally they want to be touched but the body cannot tolerate it, at least that is what i read.
@amiablePeace77 true.:)
@RumpleSteeleSkin I find that being open to being touched starts with self touch. I massage my feet and as winter months approach put coconut oil on them so they do not dry up and crack. I massage my fingers. By massaging the web between the thumb and forefinger I get relief from pains in my head and neck. When I wash my hair I massage the scalp gently for a little longer. With the warm water flowing down my back in the shower I rub the back of my hands (up to 50 times) up and down the lower back which relieves stress and energizes the kidneys. I touch my face gently.
All these help me to feel comfort. Hugs from others or even a hand on their shoulder can signal comfort without too much closeness that might be uncomfortable.
@soulsings that's a great suggestion. people with limited mobility might find it helpful to direct others how and where they like to be touched. some don't like messages on their bare feet. they might find it more comfortable keeping their socks when messaged.
massages not messages. LOL. sorry.
@kindSoul10 I totally agree this is a person by person preference that each person can customize for their own situation. Massaging can be done with socks on or off. That is totally okay. Also lotions and or coconut oil can make a massage more comfortable if done with bare feet.
Another thing to arrange with your person that massages you is a signal for them to apply less pressure. Pain is not comforting although sometimes intensity does lead to more relaxation. Verbal cues or handle signals can be used. Thanks for making us more sensitive to personal preferences.
@soulsings
Hi there Souls Good to see you in check in today! Yes I do agree with getting used to touch again begins with self in a private-safe place where you have control over whats being done. Soul I honestly read this 2 times. I so wish I new about this very long ago. Cause for me I'd of tried re-entering touch sooner then I did. Thank you alot for sharing these things.
@RumpleSteeleSkin you are welcome.
I find including warmth into my bedtime routine helps comfort me. I use a heating pad to comfort myself. For the most part, I really enjoy touch. It's just that my loved ones are all long-distance, so it's rare that I get to interact with others in that way.
@Zeraphim a heating pad sounds like a nice comfort especially with the cold of winter. Thanks for sharing this idea.
@RumpleSteeleSkin
I agree Rumple, physical touch is very important (except cases like mentioned by kindSoul), babies die without touch, experiences with monkey babies (taken away from their mother and put into a cage with 2 surrogate mothers, one just steel and feeding the baby monkey the other one steel but "cushioned" ) show that after receiving food the monkey would go back to the "cushioned" surrogate mother because it felt soft and warm. We are the same, we need physical touch to survive. Petting an animal might be a start to heal.
There is also the issue of emotional touch, so not physical, after times of abuse or similar experiences a person might have difficulties to deal with emotional touch. The wish to receive it is there but when confronted it might be so overwhelming that the person in that particular moment uses surpression which can lead to misinterpretation of the individual's behavior/attitude. There are certainly different ways to heal, i personally think in those cases it is most helpfull to try opening again (may be not necessarily the first time) and go through the pain of experiencing kindness so that wounds can heal.
guys that was longer than planned
@amiablePeace77 I agree these are basic things that are part of our make up as beings.
